From ‘Bystander’ to Falun Dafa Practitioner

(Minghui.org) In the early 90s, a big qigong wave started in China. Qigong is an ancient cultivation system that uses specific movements, breathing techniques, and meditation to maintain health. When my mother was young, she was ill-tempered and physically weak. In seeking a cure, she attended many qigong classes and practiced different forms of qigong. At the same time, she went to the temple to become a lay Buddhist. But none of these things helped her feel better.

Her friends then introduced her to the spiritual practice of Falun Dafa, and she went through great transformations after following the principles for a while. She used to have serious joint pain and had to keep her legs warm all the time. So she couldn’t wear skirts, nor touch cold water in the summer. She either had a headache or lower back pain every day. She spent almost six months of the year in a hospital. Because of her discomfort, she easily gave in to her temper, which made the atmosphere in our family tense.

Soon after she began cultivating Dafa, she was no longer afraid of cold temperatures. She gained strength, had no more pain, and could do household chores. Her temper also changed for the better. She became happy and our family life was more harmonized.

By then, I was about to start high school. I only knew that this qigong practice was good, and it could help people improve their physical and mental health. But due to brainwashing by the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) doctrine of atheism, I knew nothing about Buddhas, Daos, or gods. I was ignorant and even laughed at people who believed in them since I considered all such things to be unscientific.

I regarded my mother’s behavior before and after she started cultivating to be a coincidence, and didn’t think about the cause behind the positive changes. I realize now that I had poor enlightenment quality. My thinking was totally blocked by the CCP culture, and my post-natal notions.

However, benevolent Master Li (Falun Dafa's founder and teacher) didn’t give up on me. He arranged another cultivation opportunity for me. As my mother had incurred a lot of medical expenses, our financial situation was rather difficult. So my parents opened a home business of doing odd jobs to earn extra income. We lived near a school, so their customers were mostly students.

One year, a male student came to our home. While waiting for his work to be completed, he saw a copy of Zhuan Falun on the table and began reading it. Because both he and my mother were practitioners, I got to know him. Through him, I saw the great character of a practitioner including humility, kindness, wisdom, honesty, and trustworthiness. I had never met anyone as great as he was. We connected through Falun Dafa and eventually got married.

When he studied the Fa, I did too, but I didn’t always understand what I read. I was also reluctant to do the exercises due to laziness. In my mind, I wasn’t acting like a practitioner. Even though I knew Dafa is good, I felt something was blocking me. So I wasn’t truly cultivating and I developed a bystander mentality; I thought of myself as a practitioner’s family member. I always told my husband to cultivate well and said I would be a sentient being in his world once he reached consummation (enlightenment). Thinking back, my lack of commitment was due to strong sentimentality. I didn’t want to let go of the so-called love in the human world.

The CCP began to persecute Falun Dafa on July 20, 1999. At the time, we had been married for over a year. I was puzzled when I heard defamatory propaganda. As I was only a bystander and didn’t cultivate Dafa seriously, I lacked an in-depth understanding of the teachings. Luckily, my husband was diligent in his cultivation. He answered my questions and cleared up my confusion. I truly appreciated benevolent Master for compassionately arranging my life so I would not be misled by the CCP's lies.

In 2000, my husband decided to go to Beijing to appeal for justice for Falun Dafa. Even though I didn’t want him to go, I understood that he had to. As a practitioner, it is his mission and duty to defend Dafa. Soon after arriving in Beijing, he was arrested. I was home alone and had nobody to share my feelings with.

I then took out Master Li's articles and flipped through them, which calmed me down. I seemed to know that Master would arrange for things to work out as they should and prayed quietly to Him that my husband would come home safely. This was the first time I took the initiative to study the Fa on my own, although I was studying it with a pursuit. But Dafa’s miraculous power still helped me calm down.

After being illegally detained for three months, my husband returned. Afterward, we were forced to leave home and wander from place to place. In order to avoid harassment from the police, we moved more than 10 times in 10 years. Later, when the situation became relaxed, our life went back to normal.

I had a new task, which was to pass on truth-clarification materials. However, deep down, I still treated myself as a bystander and just someone living in a practitioner’s family. Maybe it was the fear of being persecuted that blocked me from being a true practitioner.

Three years ago, a friend named Ms. Liu was arrested as she clarified the facts to people on the street. That night, both my husband and I had a vivid dream about her. We quickly went to find Ms. Liu’s daughter, who told us that the police officers tried to make her pay 50,000 yuan (about $7,860) as a security deposit. My husband told the daughter, who is also a Falun Dafa adherent, about the hint from his dream that we should not cooperate with the evil, because there would be a future issue to face, which would also add to her mother’s tribulation. Her daughter became clear and decided not to pay the deposit. She used her righteous thoughts to rescue her mother instead.

My husband asked if I would go with the daughter to see the authorities. I agreed immediately without thinking. Then I thought to myself: Will I be okay? I hardly had the Fa in my heart. All I had was a sense of justice. If I was afraid, upset, or scared in front of the police, could I possibly help her mother? I began to worry a bit.

But then, I thought about Master Li, the power of Falun Dafa, and how selflessly fellow practitioners cooperated. For example, some practitioners sent righteous thoughts, some consulted lawyers, and some called people outside of China.

Ms. Liu was very righteous at the detention center and didn’t cooperate with the guards’ demands. At this critical moment, my righteous thoughts surfaced from deep down inside. I thought I had to study the Fa wholeheartedly, otherwise, I wouldn’t feel confident, let alone be able to save a fellow practitioner.

Given that I had a bit of time to get prepared, I went home and seriously studied the Fa. Previously, when I studied, I always thought it was enough to read a section that I understood once and there was no need to read it again. When I read Zhuan Falun repeatedly, I couldn’t see any new meanings, so I was easily distracted. When I read a part that I didn’t understand, I just skipped over it without thinking. This time, I calmed my mind and read it carefully. When Master saw my wish to save someone, he helped me improve my enlightenment quality.

I also came to realize many of my attachments. First of all, I relied on my husband a lot, as I considered him to be very knowledgeable. I was fairly lazy and didn’t want to think about or take care of anything. When I was sitting in the lotus position, I was afraid my legs would hurt; when I did the Falun Standing Stance exercise, I couldn’t hold my arms up for long because I was afraid of hardship. I also wanted to enjoy life and had an attachment to comfort. When I saw other people who were dressed up, I envied them. I felt happy when I was complimented and didn’t want to be criticized, mainly because of my zealotry and competitive mentality. When I was treated badly, I felt resentment. I also liked to check out good-looking movie stars and had the attachment of lust.

Through Fa-study and sending righteous thoughts, I began to dispel my distracting thoughts and interference from all kinds of thought karma. Gradually, I could focus when reading Zhuan Falun and see the inner meanings that Master revealed to me. Because I had the Fa in my heart, I had confidence when I went with Ms. Liu’s daughter to the Prosecutor and Domestic Security Division several times. Later, due to a lack of evidence, they had to release Ms. Liu. Her daughter never did give the police the security deposit.

During this process, I truly came to feel the power of Dafa, which inspired me a lot. I had been a bystander before, as there had been a big gap in my ability to improve my character when I used a practitioner’s standards to gauge myself. However, I changed my notions and considered myself a genuine practitioner from then on. I stopped playing with my cell phone, watching TV, and sleeping in. Before that, I had some difficulty in keeping up with things such as studying the Fa, sending righteous thoughts, and regularly doing the exercises. After I treated cultivation seriously, I realized that high standards are achievable.

I now know how wonderful it is for me to improve my xinxing and assimilate to the Fa. I hope that practitioners’ family members, who are still bystanders like I was do not miss this precious opportunity. Please calm your mind and study the Fa well.

We need to examine our hearts and realize that anything blocking us from becoming a practitioner is a post-natal notion, which is not who we truly are. Let us break through our notions, cultivate Dafa diligently, and fulfill our prehistoric vows.