Letting Go of a Deeply-Hidden Attachment to Seeking Fame

(Minghui.org) I am a young Falun Dafa practitioner who attained the Fa in 2012. I used to think that I didn’t have an attachment to seeking fame. However, some recent incidents made me realize that I indeed did have that attachment, and it had been deeply hidden in my heart. I hadn’t realized that it was there because I hadn’t reached that level in cultivation.

How it Manifested

I was assigned to attend a meeting in the provincial capital. It was a meeting attended by peers in the industry and leaders from different cities in the province. I knew many of them. I used to be a person who didn’t talk a lot, but I anticipated that meeting and did a lot of preparation. I thought I had years of experience in the industry and wanted to show what I knew, and be recognized for my expertise.

At the meeting, people spoke one after another, and every speech was to-the-point. When I spoke, I started off well, but suddenly I remembered all the mistreatment I had suffered, and then my throat constricted, and I started to stutter.

The audience gave me strange looks. I felt my face blush. I managed to finish my speech, but only in a cursory way. Thinking that my image was ruined, all I wanted to do was escape, and not see any of the attendees anymore. I felt miserable.

It was difficult to get rid of that bad mood. Days later, I eventually realized that I needed to look inward, and realized it was a good opportunity for me to improve my character. I eventually discovered my attachment was to seeking fame, and I felt pained that it was exposed.

Although I normally didn’t compete with colleagues to get promoted or to raise my salary, and I seemingly didn’t desire fame and benefits, it was only because of my character, which I had since childhood, and because I had managed to maintain an image of “taking lightly” renown and getting ahead. I realized that I really was affected by those attachments.

Digging Out the Roots

Even as a child I wanted to be respected. I had weak eyesight, but didn’t want to wear glasses because I didn’t want to be laughed at. As a result, I could barely see anything written on the blackboard, and only learned by listening carefully and studying the school textbooks. I only began wearing glasses when I went to college because I thought that nobody knew me in that new environment.

I was tall for my age as a child, and good at sports. I dreamed of becoming a sports star in my early school days, but the dream never came true. My academic performance was also not bad, so I began dreaming about being successful and famous through study; but the reality was also disappointing. My college entrance exam marks were below par. I held a lot of other dreams, including winning the heart of a beautiful girl. All these attachments were hidden so deeply that I hadn’t realized I had them.

I also had a big ego when collaborating with fellow practitioners. It was time to dig out all those attachments at the roots. When I looked inward, I felt the karma dying, and my body was relaxed.

A Dafa Disciple Doesn’t Seek Fame

One time, as I studied the Fa about letting go of the attachment to fame, my heart was shocked. I felt one level of the Fa principle manifesting in front of me. I enlightened that I had strayed from the Fa, and I must rectify myself by the Fa.

The life of an ordinary person is full of pursuing fame, profit, and of course, sentimentality. Living like that is following the crowd and will accumulate karma. Only by letting go of all pursuits and holding the Fa in one’s heart, can we walk on a bright way and return home.

So how do we let go of the attachment to fame? I think we can’t just say the words. First, we need to really change what we believe. We should take enduring hardship as something good, and remove all our attachments while passing tests. We should not give in to impulses, look inward during every conflict, and try our best to rectify ourselves and our every thought based on the Fa. Only then, can we gradually let go of the attachments.

Although the attachment to fame still emerges in my mind from time to time, and it even surfaced when I was writing this article, I can grasp it, destroy it as soon as it shows up, and not let it have any effect.

With hints from Master Li, the founder and teacher of Falun Dafa, I will definitely let go of all human attachments in my cultivation, and fundamentally rectify myself.