(Minghui.org) I started to practice Falun Dafa with my parents when I was six, and I’m now 29 years old. I witnessed how wonderful Falun Dafa is and I also experienced high pressure and tests during the 23 years of persecution. The principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance are deeply rooted in my heart.
I would like to share my understanding of some things that appear trivial on the surface. I hope to encourage myself and other practitioners to improve by looking back at the path I walked.
I am pregnant and my due day is in mid-October 2022. I planned to take the intermediate accounting exams before giving birth and look for a better job after I pass the exams. In 2020, the exam was canceled due to the pandemic. I was nervous last summer as I was not sure if the exam would be canceled again in 2021.
I followed the COVID cases reported every day, even though I knew that the data published by the state-run media in China was not factual. I couldn’t focus when I studied the Fa. My heart fluctuated up and down with the number of cases. I knew I was too attached to the exams, but I just couldn’t let it go.
I talked to my parents, who were also practitioners about my concerns and looked within. I found my attachments to fame, comfort, and getting a good job. I also realized that I didn’t fully believe in the Fa because I wanted to change my fate by passing the exams.
I gradually removed these attachments by sending forth righteous thoughts. I took the exams in early September. I felt Master’s protection once again as I was assigned to a test center close to my home.
After the exam, I was afraid I would not pass. I realized it was another attachment. I should let it go and follow the flow. I reminded myself that I was a Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification period, so I should be worthy of this title.
I made a schedule to study the Fa, do the exercises, send forth righteous thoughts, and make truth-clarification materials every day—but I was still attached to comfort. I wanted to take a break and spent hours watching videos on my cell phone. I managed to do the three things by constantly eliminating these distractions. But I still wanted to play with my cell phone. I felt an inexplicable emptiness when I put it down. I realized it was because I didn’t study the Fa well. I gradually eliminated the interference arranged by the old forces by studying the Fa every day.
I saw a picture that compared playing with a cell phone to taking drugs. Cell phones are indeed very attractive to people of all ages. I realized it was a tool the old forces use to destroy human beings and practitioners. I knew I must eliminate my attachment to cell phones. Nowadays, people are used to constantly looking at their cell phones, but as practitioners, we should eliminate this addiction.
For a long time, I was addicted to watching videos,TV shows, and following social media on my cell phone. I opened those apps as soon as I picked them up. Over time, I felt the more I watched, the more empty and pessimistic I became. I was even losing faith in cultivation. On the contrary, after studying the Fa, I felt spiritually enriched and that I was improving.
Master said,
“Spending unnecessary time on the computer or playing video games has the same effect; it’s the same idea. If you want to quit, that thing won’t want you to since it would die. And so it will do all in its power to make you engage in those things. And if you try not to, it will interfere with your work or studies by causing your mind to crave them. If you refuse, it might even make you do those things in your dreams. It strikes me how easily human beings are controlled by foreign entities. The human body is really just a vessel made up of the foods a person has consumed and that is inherited from one’s parents. With the consumption of food, it grows, but it is really weak, as anyone or anything can control it. Things that are formed in other dimensions are sentient, and though their plane may be low, they still have the ability to control people since the human body is weak.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference”)
Master’s words enlightened me and I cleared the interference coming from other dimensions by sending forth righteous thoughts. At the same time, I strengthened my main consciousness and reminded myself not to be tempted by my cell phone.
I tried my best not to look at my cell phone. During breaks at work, I read the Fa instead of looking at my cell phone. When I really wanted to look at it, I reminded myself that Master extended the time for us to cultivate through his suffering. I had no reason to waste my time and life on the phone. My main consciousness became stronger and stronger as I increased the time I read the Fa.
For a long time, I didn’t do the exercises every day due to laziness. I always felt tired. One day, I read Master’s lecture about doing the exercises.
Master said,
“That's because doing the exercises is the most effective way to get rid of fatigue, it's the best way to quickly make your body recover.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IV)
When I looked inward I realized why I didn’t do the exercises every day. First, I had an attachment to comfort. Second, I didn’t fully believe what Master said about doing the exercises because some veteran practitioners’ states appeared abnormal. I looked within further and found I didn’t believe in the Fa completely. After I found these attachments, I focused when I read the Fa. I told myself I should assimilate to the Fa unconditionally and eliminate my human notions.
Now I do the exercises every day and my body feels light. Other pregnant women complain about how uncomfortable they feel. I don’t feel different at all. At first, I took it for granted. One day I realized that because I am a practitioner, I am healthy and energetic.
I didn’t get on well with a male coworker in my office. He always took credit for my work in front of the leaders and thus received more bonuses. I was upset and looked down on him.
I knew I shouldn’t fight with him, so I looked inward. I realized there must be something wrong on my end. I told myself that he was a predestined person and that I should tell him about Falun Dafa so he could be saved. I knew I shouldn’t have conflicts with him over fame and profit.
After I found my attachment, I tried my best to do everything he asked me to do, and I always put myself in his shoes. I felt my xinxing improving. However, he still asked me to do everything after I got pregnant. He asked me to travel to the company headquarters to get something. Other coworkers said he shouldn’t ask me to do extra work, but he said, “It is nothing for her. Pregnant women should do more exercise.”
I was angry hearing this and didn’t speak to him for the rest of the day. I felt he was being unfair. I started to slack off and prepared to quit after giving birth.
I knew I was wrong when I studied the Fa. Master said,
“Haven’t I said that a Dafa disciple should be a good person in every circumstance? Most Dafa disciples are both working jobs and validating the Fa.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume VII)
I realized I didn’t even fulfill the requirements for being a good person. I knew the way he was treating me was an opportunity to improve my xinxing and remove my attachment to comfort. I continued to adjust my mindset. After I set my mind right, my coworker also changed and started to have consideration for my pregnant state.
I am infinitely grateful to Master for his compassionate salvation!