(Minghui.org) My cultivation state seemed to go in cycles. I got depressed, tired, and didn’t want to do anything during the down phase of the cycle. I knew the interference came from thought karma, so I stepped up my efforts to study the Fa and do the exercises. Things improved for a while, then bad thoughts emerged again. I thought this was due to my cultivation state, so I just let the bad thoughts appear.
I realized later that I was making excuses for myself and that I should be more proactive; I should catch any bad thoughts and feelings, and then negate and eliminate them.
Through Fa study, I discovered the reason the old forces took advantage of my loophole; it was because I didn’t look at the problem from the perspective of the Fa. For example, take the issue of eliminating bad thoughts: it rarely occurred to me that practitioners should not have ill thoughts, as they are not from our true self.
All I did, however, was complain about them showing up. When I did not walk the path arranged by Master, I was falling into the old forces’ trap. It wasn’t until I encountered tribulations that I came to this realization: Why didn’t I clear out the interference with righteous thoughts when the problem arose?
I had a conflict with a practitioner in my group and thought I was right. Had I insisted that I was right, the conflict would intensify, and I may not have won the argument. I knew that practitioners should not argue, so I restrained myself and didn’t fight back.
Although I didn’t say anything, I could not let go of the issue and still thought I was right. I shared the story with another practitioner. I got emotional and hoped he would be on my side. However, the practitioner said, “You are too attached to the project!”
I realized I was wrong. I was being competitive and applied human thinking, which led me to assert myself. I was being selfish and used the Dafa project as an excuse.
Master Li said,
“Whenever a tribulation comes, you do not see it with the side of your original nature but view it completely with your human side. Evil demons then capitalize on this point and inflict endless interference and damage, leaving students in long-term tribulations.” (“Expounding on the Fa,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
Wasn’t I behaving as Master described? I didn’t see myself as a practitioner when faced with tribulations. I should have looked at things with divine thoughts. The Fa principles were clear to me when I studied Master's teachings, but then I became muddle-headed when I encountered problems.
When I ran into opinions or ideas that were different from mine, I should have kept an open mind. If I let go of my own opinions and agree with others, then conflicts would not exist. Practitioners with differing opinions were helping me to improve in cultivation; I should be grateful to them.
Master said,
“The true situation, as I see it, is that the evil old forces want to do what they want to. To do well is to not walk down the path arranged by the old forces; the goal is to not allow the old forces to take advantage of your gaps.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. II)
Dafa practitioners came here to assist Master with Fa-rectification and to save sentient beings. From the perspective of the Fa, we should cooperate with each other and cultivate amid conflicts.
The heavy substance in my heart disappeared when I understood this principle.
This is my current understanding. Please kindly point out anything not based on the Fa.
Editor's note: This article only represents the author’s understanding in their current cultivation state meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare with one another in study, in cultivation.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)