(Minghui.org) I’ve always held myself to a cultivator’s standard when dealing with ordinary people or fellow practitioners but would slack off when dealing with family, especially my husband. I knew I needed to look inward, but I only did it superficially and sometimes I even argued with him. I missed many opportunities to elevate myself because I did not approach cultivation with sufficient seriousness.
One morning last summer, I took a detour to buy a watermelon for my grandson on my way home from visiting a practitioner. It was past noon when I got home. “How come you are so late? You fooled around outside,” my husband yelled at me. I knew he was concerned about my safety, so I kept quiet and prepared lunch. Since I did not fight back, he stopped complaining after a while.
From then on, I always came home on time. I usually ignored him when he was fussy, but he was getting worse. Sometimes he blew up over trivial matters or something I’d said. Occasionally, I could not resist talking back and things would get worse. His foul language became unbearable.
I wondered what had happened. Then I sensed that it might be Master Li giving me hints through my husband.
Letting Attachments Exploit My Loopholes
I calmed down and looked inward. I had loopholes and did not genuinely cultivate myself regarding my relationship with my husband. I knew he was helping me and felt it was enough to not fight back. But I had thoughts such as, “You're so unreasonable and don’t respect others, you are not worthy of my attention. Go ahead and say whatever you want!”
I realized I was not looking inward. On the surface I did not fight back, but I did not cultivate myself, either. I took this as a tribulation and something to helplessly forbear, instead of a chance to upgrade my character. I indulged my attachment to resentment and justified it by focusing on my husband’s behavior. I was lazy in my cultivation and emphasized superficial things instead of making genuine progress. I needed to study the Fa more and cultivate myself better.
I read in Zhuan Falun:
“As you know, when a person reaches the Arhat level, in his heart he is not concerned about anything. He does not care at all in his heart for any ordinary human matter, and he will always be smiling and in good spirits. No matter how much loss he suffers, he will still be smiling and in good spirits without any concern.” (Lecture 9, Zhuan Falun)
I wondered why I couldn’t reach the state of not being concerned about anything, always smiling and in good spirits. I failed to treat cultivation seriously and instead let my attachments exploit my loopholes. Rather than cultivating myself, I accumulated a lot of resentment. How could I be smiling and in good spirits?
Enlightening After Master's Hint
I recollected another passage of Master's Fa:
“If you do not change the human logic that you, as an ordinary human, have formed deep in your bones over thousands of years, you will be unable to break away from this superficial human shell and reach Consummation.” (“Cautionary Advice” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
I recited this in my heart word by word. As I recited, I seemed to understand something and suddenly Master displayed another layer of Fa principles to me. “Master, I got it. I truly got it,” I exclaimed in my heart.
Master’s hint made me understand why I didn’t deal with tribulations well. I found and got rid of many attachments when facing conflicts, especially when I looked inward unconditionally. But I always had gripes that I did not let go of and would feel insulted, thinking, “I did nothing wrong. Why accuse me?” I was trapped by human logic.
The ultimate goal of our cultivation is to transcend humanness. Aren’t these notions all helping me get rid of my feelings of resentment, jealousy, and losing face? Only by fundamentally changing one’s notions can one genuinely cultivate and step out of the human realm.
Something in my chest had bothered me for fifty years. It made me short of breath when I was upset and was caused by my fighting with my mother-in-law when I was younger. However, it suddenly disappeared after I understood my superficial notions. This shocked me. The feeling was hard to describe. I was so grateful that I shed tears and cried in my heart, “Thank you Master, thank you!” Now when I look back, the resentment and bitterness have disappeared. They are merely a faint memory. My heart feels so comfortable, clean and clear from the inside out!
My husband no longer makes a fuss and has become happy, even if I find fault with him. He will complain occasionally, but always with a smile. He now helps around the house every day. I truly understand what Master said:
“You should sincerely thank him from the bottom of your heart ...” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I realized that any human logic is feeble and futile and will be immediately dissolved by the universal law of Dafa!
Through studying the Fa and examining my state of mind, I realized the seriousness of cultivation. One needs to study the Fa, do genuine cultivation, and enlighten to the Way. One cannot enlighten to the Way by studying the Fa without doing genuine cultivation. To clearly understand the Fa you need to cultivate your mind, then Dafa's principles will be displayed to you.
I deeply feel that the bittersweet process of unconditionally looking inward is almost a process of subverting all human notions. It is a process of being completely reborn and letting go of humanness. It is also a process of validating Dafa.
I knelt in front of Master’s picture and burnt incense. I shed tears and had a lot of things on my mind but didn’t know what to say. All I felt was gratitude, infinite gratitude. I hope to reach enlightenment and repay Master.
Here is a passage of Master’s Fa to encourage fellow practitioners:
“And when problems arise between you and others, it doesn’t matter who’s at fault: start by reflecting on your part in it. If a cultivator cannot manage to form this habit, if he isn’t able to look at things in the opposite way of how people normally do, then he will always be stuck at the human level—at least in regards to whatever issue he may have failed to resolve.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference”)
Please remember Master’s teachings and take the final steps well, so that we are worthy of His saving grace.
Category: Improving Oneself