(Minghui.org) I am a retired teacher. I started practicing Falun Gong, also known as Falun Dafa, in 1996. I have had ups and downs on my cultivation path. I got confused and stopped practicing when the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started the persecution. But Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Gong, did not give up on me and gave me all kinds of hints.
After I started to cultivate again, I truly felt strong and that life had meaning. Many unforgettable things have since happened to me and I would like to share some of them with you.
My son and his wife did not feel comfortable having a stranger babysit my grandson and asked me to take care of him six months ago. That meant I was in charge of all the housework, including grocery shopping, cooking meals, washing the clothes, and cleaning the house. I am a perfectionist. I wanted everything done perfectly.
I was too busy to even take a lunch break. My daughter-in-law brought her mother over to help. That made things even worse. She has diabetes and injured her back when she was younger, so she cannot do heavy housework or cook. But she was neurotic about cleanliness, making me mop the floor and clean the rooms all the time. I also had to cook the food to her taste. Gradually, my resentment started to build up. I felt I was just a hard-working, highly-paid nanny to them.
One day, my son's mother-in-law commented to my grandson that I was busy like a robot, and the resentment that had been building inside me for a long time spilled over. I lashed out at her: “I am a practitioner, not a robot!”
I calmed down to thoroughly think it over afterward. I asked myself, “Am I a practitioner? How can I consider myself a practitioner when I do not study the Fa, do the exercises, and look inward? Things do not happen by chance. What is the attachment that has led to this tension in my family?”
Superficially, I realized that I had attachments to showing off, validating myself, and reputation. Deep in my heart I was also attached to comfort, complaining, resentment, and jealousy. I was resentful that my son and his wife did not appreciate all my hard work. I was jealous that my daughter-in-law's mother enjoyed the services I provided.
These human notions came from my attachment to human emotion, which was intertwined with the attachment to self-validation. They trapped me in a big filthy pit, and the interference confused me. I could not extricate myself and felt helpless.
One day, I suddenly thought of something Master said:
“Yet from a practitioner’s perspective, if everyone treated you so well, how would you cultivate? How would your attachments be exposed? How would you improve? How would you eliminate karma? Isn’t that the question? So you shouldn’t have a resentful or resistant attitude when you encounter challenges like these.” (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in New Zealand)
Enlightened by this, I strengthened my righteous thoughts and actively removed the human notions and the evil interference. I cleared my main consciousness and purified my cultivation environment.
This was my home and I knew I had to make a decision. I told my son and his wife to hire a nanny, and this time they agreed. A fellow practitioner that I knew happened to be looking for work at that time. She agreed to take the job.
Now, we have a good cultivation environment. Master had already arranged this person for me. Many thanks to Master for pulling me out of a big pit of sentiment!
Even with the extra help, I still had attachments to be removed and character traits to improve on.
The nanny and I did the exercises early in the morning and studied the Fa before going to bed. We took care of my grandson and did housework during the daytime. While I took a nap with the child after lunch, I told the nanny that she could rest, too. But my daughter-in-law either found fault with the nanny or gave her more trivial things to do. She knew we were practitioners and should have supported us. I was not pleased with her.
I said to the nanny, “She is really ignorant. She should know that a person who respects a cultivator will be rewarded in the future. She is creating karma for herself by treating us like this.”
With this human thought in my mind, everything in my family changed. No one was happy. No one talked kindly or listened calmly.
One night after Fa study, I asked my fellow practitioner if she thought what I'd said was in line with the Fa.
“Was it in accordance with the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance? Do I still have an attachment to conflict? Am I responding to criticism correctly?” I asked.
She said, “I am here to work. I should do all the jobs she assigns me. I do not think about anything but satisfying her.”
I realized that I was wrong. I did not understand the Fa and was not on the Fa. I looked at things from a human point of view and missed opportunities to improve myself. I had not completely removed my attachments to emotion and validating myself.
Master said,
“There is no precondition for cultivation, and one should cultivate if one wants to.” (Zhuan Falun)
Things were different after I changed my thinking and sent righteous thoughts. Both of us took on the extra housework as an opportunity to improve our xinxing. I no longer complained about my daughter-in-law. We have lived together happily ever since.
Yes, cultivation is unconditional. It can be done in any circumstances.
Another time I revealed my attachment of resentment. One day, my daughter-in-law bought her son a toy police car. The nanny said that practitioners hate police cars the most. My son said, “My mom does, too.”
I was concerned that might lead to a misunderstanding of practitioners and that people might think we lacked compassion. That misunderstanding might become an obstacle when it came to to saving people and needed to be clarified.
I quickly explained, “It is only those malicious policemen who follow Jiang Zemin's orders and drive the police cars to arrest good people that are a problem.”
We immediately sent righteous thoughts to clear away the interference of the old forces in other dimensions.
We realized that practitioners should not go to extremes and should pay special attention to what we say and the words we use, and not repeat the common terms the Party uses. We must look inward on everything and cultivate compassion at all times so that people can sense our breadth of mind. That is the only way we can reach the level that Master said a Fa-rectification practitioner should achieve.
Master said,
“Compassion can harmonize Heaven and Earth, ushering in springRighteous thoughts can save the people in this world.” (The Fa Rectifies the Cosmos, Hong Ying Vol. II)
Tests always come one after another. One day last month, my son said to me with concern, “The higher ups in my company say money is tight and have ordered a 20% cut in employees. I might be laid off and have to stay at home with you to care for the child.”
My daughter-in-law was worried and said, “He is almost 40. It is not so easy to find a good job again.”
I wasn't worried because I believe that Master arranges everything. My son already understood the facts about Falun Gong and had quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. His job should be alright.
I advised him, “Master Li said to just take things as they come naturally.”
Master said,
“….as a cultivator should follow the course of nature. If something is yours, you will not lose it. If something is not yours, you will not have it even if you fight for it.” (Zhuan Falun)
A few days ago, my son told me, “The layoffs were canceled. There won't be any in my department. Those who'd already left were called back.”
Master has protected his disciple and her family again. I quietly appreciate Master for his great compassion.