(Minghui.org)
One of my best friends came to me in January of 2017 and asked me to join an investment program. The way she talked about the investment suggested that it was a pyramid scheme, but I wasn't sure. Spurred on by my attachments to saving face and personal gain, I agreed to invest and paid a few thousand yuan as a membership fee. My friend agreed to manage my account for me as I could not spend a lot of time on it.
In February, my menstrual period became irregular. My monthly cycle shortened to 20 days and then less than 15 days. This got my attention. My friend told me she also had irregular periods. I had the feeling that the abnormal state of my body was related to the investment program, but I didn't feel it was urgent enough to do anything about it.
Then, in a dream one night, a voice told me that I absolutely should not ask more people to join the investment program. After I awoke, I decided not to let my friend control my account anymore. I changed my password.
Two days later, my friend called me and asked for the new password. She said she was planning to put a few more people under my name.
I now had a clear understanding of the program and refused her request. I told her that I had decided to quit the program. No matter how she tried to persuade me, I didn't change my mind. In April, my period returned to normal.
My husband's best friend, Yang, suddenly passed away last year. None of his family members knew the password to his cellphone. It took a lot of effort for them to gain access to his phone and inform all his acquaintances of his sudden death.
After my husband helped Yang's family make arrangements for his funeral and related issues, he suddenly asked me, “What's the password for your bank account? If you suddenly died, I wouldn't even be able to take out the money.”
Perhaps he was just casually asking but, due to my strong sentimentality for him, I felt really sad and often thought about this afterward. “Why do you think about money when you should be grieving for someone who is deceased?” The more I thought about it, the more upset I was.
I finally realized that I am a cultivator and that nothing I encounter is coincidental. In cultivation, we should constantly purify ourselves and rid ourselves of human sentimentality and attachment to personal gain. How could I reach consummation if I could not let go of these attachments?
Things suddenly became crystal clear for me: I should thank my husband for helping me understand these principles rather than complain about him. I gave him the password for my bank account.
During my birthday this year, just before we had dinner together, he told me he'd contacted Yang's wife and that we should get together sometime in the future.
I was a little upset. “It was my birthday today, but you’re thinking of your friend’s wife instead of me.” I then realized that I was jealous of Yang's wife. Because our birthday was on the same day and also because Yang had just passed away, it was natural for him to think of Yang and his wife.
I realized that when I expected my husband to think of me all the time, I was being selfish and wanted to take over his mind. The strong sentimentality and attachment for him was something I must get rid of if I wanted to succeed in cultivation. My ultimate goal is to go to heaven after reaching Consummation, so why do I care so much about how others treat me?
For a long time, I was very careful in my cultivation not to make mistakes on the issue of lust. After I read the sharing article “The Sea of Suffering and Lust Seen in Another Dimension,” I became very scared about the attachment of lust. I thought of the man and woman who poured lust worms onto the roots of the lotus in order to destroy Dafa practitioners.
Whenever I was awake and had a clear mind, I would never make a mistake in this regard. Once in a while in my dreams, however, I could feel the lust worms attacking my sensitive parts. I was very frustrated after I woke up and almost lost confidence in ridding the interference from the worms. I also developed a strong fear that the old forces would arrange for me to stumble in my cultivation.
I grew up in the countryside and often saw snakes when I was a child. I was afraid of snakes; sometimes I would not even go outside by myself. One morning, I watched a snake outside of my apartment as it slowly crawled upstairs along the Internet wires. We lived on the fourth floor, and I was surprised how the snake made its way up here.
In Chinese, the pronunciation of “snake” is very similar to that of “lust.” Seeing a snake again after so many years, crawling upstairs along the Internet wire–wasn't that a hint that the degenerated substances of lust had entered my field through the Internet?
Recently I had been watching a historical drama and liked one of the major characters. I would continue watching it even when I felt dizzy afterward. I realized that it was because of my attachment of lust that I liked to watch the male actor.
Thinking of my dreams, I also realized that this was an attachment to overcome rather than something to fear. My dreams bothered me, yet I didn't know what my problem was. I had developed a fear of the old forces instead of looking at the issue from the Fa's perspective and using the Fa's power to break through the test.
Master said:
“Because his nature had not changed, he transformed himself into a big snake to make trouble for me. I thought that he went too far, so I caught him in my hand. I used a very powerful gong called "the dissolving gong" to dissolve his lower body and turn it into water. His upper body ran back home.
“Because he always committed bad deeds and interfered with my teaching of Dafa, I then eliminated him completely.” (Zhuan Falun)
Master has given us all the abilities we need, and it's just a matter whether we have faith. When the degenerated substances of lust kept interfering with me, I could have sent righteous thoughts to eliminate them.
I also realized that my understanding of lust was influenced by modern medicine and that I didn't use a high-level standard to discipline myself. Those desires are in fact very filthy if looked at from a higher level.
Now, I no longer fear the old forces. I believe that, with the Fa's guidance and Master's strengthening, I can break through the old forces' arrangements and completely get rid of my attachment to lust.