(Minghui.org) When I first read the Minghui article “Notice to Stop Distributing All Mainland China-only Editions of Shen Yun DVDs” in February 2016, it struck me at a deeper level. I realized that the communist party indoctrination I experienced was extremely detrimental and I must eliminate it. Having lived under the Chinese communist regime for my whole life, it was difficult for me to recognize it sometimes.
Master said,
“...... if a bottle filled with dirty things is sealed tightly and thrown into water, it will sink all the way to the bottom. You pour out some of its dirty contents. The more you empty the bottle, the higher it will float in the water. If it is emptied entirely, it will float on the surface completely.” (Zhuan Falun)
I thought, “Aren't I the bottle? Only by pouring out any dirty content, can I float higher.” My mind was not calm when reading the Fa, and it felt as if there was something separating me from the Fa. My desire to study the Fa was not as strong as when I initially obtained the Fa.
In order to achieve a breakthrough in my cultivation, I decided to memorize Zhuan Falun. I once tried memorizing Hong Yin, but soon forgot what I had memorized. Thus, when I was ready to memorize Zhuan Falun again, fear surfaced. Then I remembered that many older, illiterate practitioners were able to memorize the book. Thus, I decided to memorize the Fa.
Breaking Through Thought Barriers
Once I picked up Zhuan Falun and started memorizing the Fa, my mind was attacked by interfering thoughts. While my mouth was reading, my mind was drifting. Immediately I sent righteous thoughts and asked Master for help and strengthening. But, I could only memorize a short paragraph after a long while.
I got stuck on the second page and had a difficult time memorizing Master's words,
“Everyone sits here to learn this Dafa, so you must here conduct yourselves as true practitioners, and you must give up attachments.” (Zhuan Falun)
I suddenly realized that I had not handled myself as a true practitioner all those years. Master was giving me a hint. I was shocked that I had not been clear on this fundamental issue all this time.
Looking back at my cultivation path, I realized that I had not been diligent since I started practicing Dafa in 1998. Although I had read Zhuan Falun many times, I only did the exercises occasionally and did not participate much in truth clarification efforts. I had acted like an ordinary person.
I felt as though I just broke through a shell, and I became a true practitioner. Soon I was successful in memorizing the sentence.
Finding and Eliminating Attachments
When memorizing the Fa, quite a few attachments surfaced, including impatience and the tendency to easily give up. I was able to eliminate these attachments by keeping strong righteous thoughts and memorizing the Fa.
It felt as though I had never seen some of the teachings in Zhuan Falun despite the fact that I had read it over a hundred times. I was also amazed by the strong logic in Master's teachings and that Master had unraveled very complicated issues gradually and so clearly. I obtained a deeper understanding of the Fa, which was a feeling I had never experienced before while reading the book.
I had trouble memorizing Master's words,
“That is not out of compassion, as one’s attachments to fame and self-interest have not been given up at all. This person is unable to develop this compassion one bit. He is afraid of losing his reputation. He would rather have this illness himself in order to keep his reputation. What a strong attachment to fame!” (Zhuan Falun)
I did not look inward, but recited Master's Fa over and over again, thinking subconsciously that I had never possessed such an attachment to fame. An hour passed before a sentence of the Fa struck my mind, “It is so strong that it has become natural and one does not even feel it.” (Zhuan Falun)
It dawned on me that it was not that I never had such an attachment to fame, but my attachment had become deeply entrenched in my mind. I eliminated it, and soon I had this section memorized.
Passing the Life and Death Test
I passed a test in my cultivation when I was memorizing the third chapter in Zhuan Falun.
One morning as I picked up Zhuan Falun and started to recite, my body felt a deep chill. I searched inside for possible causes. I had a dream the night before. Someone was about to give a lecture. The lobby felt a little warm. The person on stage waved to the audience and it became cooler right away. All were impressed. I had a sense of pride in my heart and thought, “That's my Master!” At that moment in the dream, I recalled that fellow practitioners told me that Master was tall and good looking. How come this person was so short and ugly? Then I woke up.
As I re-examined the dream, I realized that I committed a blunder and mistook the wrong master. Master told us,
“If you casually take such a being as your master and follow him, where can he take you? He cannot even attain Right Fruit. Won’t your cultivation be in vain?” (Zhuan Falun)
I sat down immediately and sent righteous thoughts. One hour passed and the chill worsened. I then called my mother and asked her to help send righteous thoughts. Upon hanging up the telephone, my chill went away but my limbs started cramping and I had the sensation as if electricity kept raging through my body.
I knelt and admitted my mistake to Master, “Master, my main consciousness was not clear-headed and mistook a wrong master. I was wrong.” As my cramping was too severe, I fell to the floor. I continued to send righteous thoughts lying on the floor and saying to myself, “I got to keep a clear head at all times in the future and not make such huge mistakes even in the dreams.”
I felt as if a tight rope was wrapped around my body, almost choking me. It caused me to profusely sweat. My hands cramped like chicken claws with my arms in front of my chest. I attempted to use my legs to force my arms to stay apart and down, but without any success.
Master said,
“Genuine cultivation practice is not as easy as you imagine. Do you think that if you want to practice cultivation you’ll be able to make it? Once you want to truly practice cultivation, your life will be in danger right away and this issue will concern you immediately.” (Zhuan Falun)
I came to realize that this tribulation was meant to test if I could let go of the attachment to my life and the fear of death. I told myself, “I don't fear death but I cannot die, as I have not completed memorizing the Fa. After many years of tepid cultivation, I finally started to study the Fa well. No one can take away my human body. I must follow Master's plan no matter what happens.” My mind became calm and free of fear. Yet my body was electrified, my face numb and my body convulsing. I rolled back and forth on the floor in unbearable pain. While I stayed in the fetal position on the floor sweating and panting, I kept reciting, “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.”
Three hours later my mother called my husband, and he called an ambulance. Although I gathered all my strength to utter the words “I won't go,” they took me to the hospital.
All the medical exams, including blood pressure and blood work, yielded normal results except for a relatively low potassium level. I kept asking Master for help and strengthening and was determined to pass the test. After two hours in the hospital receiving intravenous fluids, there was no sign of recovery. I knew it was not an illness. I should endure what I should, but would not endure if it was not meant for me in Master's arrangement. At this thought, I summoned all my strength to open up my cramped hands. I succeeded. I felt much better and sat up all of a sudden. I said to my husband, “Let's go home.” I walked out of the hospital around 8 p.m. I passed the test with Master's help.
Since then my Fa memorizing accelerated and there was less thought interference. It felt as though the characters in Zhuan Falun were lined up, waiting to enter my mind. The substance that used to separate me from the Fa disappeared. I completed the entire book within three months.
Adhering to the Fa in Everything
I used to be attached to self-interest and petty gains, which was quite hard to eliminate. I kept telling myself that I must get rid of all of my attachments.
One day while eating at a western style restaurant my friend suddenly said to me, “Look at the nice silverware here. I've got to grab some.” I was surprised and did not know how to react. I thought, “I am a true practitioner now. I should not be attached to petty gains. I must not do this.” Since then I have eliminated such an attachment.
Another time I was in a shopping mall with my child. While using the bathroom, I found a brand new iPhone lying on the sink counter. I did not think much of it and left without touching it. If it had been prior to my memorizing the Fa, I would have pocketed it with the strong desire to petty gain.
Master taught us,
“ In every class there are such people who lag behind with poorer enlightenment quality. Therefore, it is all normal no matter what you encounter.” (Zhuan Falun)
Isn't Master talking about people like me? The Fa rectification is nearing the end. While many fellow practitioners have achieved their goals in cultivation, I just got started.
Master's Concern
I suddenly recalled a dream that my mother had and told me about around 1998. In the dream, she was crossing the street while holding my hand. A jeep approached us, stopped and Master stepped out. She noticed that Master kept looking at me, so she asked me to greet Master. However, I kept hiding behind her.
After waking up, my mother told me, “Master has been concerned about you, fearing that you would get lost in the human world. Master is so worried.”
Ever since the very beginning and throughout the thousands of years in history, Master has been caring for me all along. Yet, I have been lost in the human world and slacking off in my cultivation.
Everything has changed, all because of the power of Dafa and my memorizing the Fa with a sincere heart. Now, I can treat everything with righteous thoughts and treat myself as a practitioner. Without the Fa I can achieve nothing. Studying the Fa well is truly of paramount importance. It is the foundation of everything.
