(Minghui.org) I decided to write this after I came to a better understanding of a mistake I made many years ago. In the past, I didn't treat cultivation practice seriously and was slacking off.
My tribulation began at a time when I felt I was diligent in my cultivation. I had largely let go of attachments to fame and self-interest, and my short temper was improving. However, I wrongly considered cultivation practice to be much the same as a normal job. Thus, when I noticed some improvements in my xinxing, I thought I could take a break from cultivation.
I now have the understanding that the thought of taking a break gave the old forces an excuse to persecute me, and that this is when they began their ploy to weaken my righteous thoughts.
Back then, I was envious of non-practitioner couples: to their love of life, having children and raising a family life. As a result, I began to pursue one thing after another.
At first, I thought these feelings were a test of my lust and desire and negated them. But one particular young man confused me. His sad face appeared in my dreams repeatedly and filled my mind with despair.
For a long time, I was engulfed in sadness and I gradually accepted that I might owe him because of something that happened in a previous life.
I didn't recognize that it was an arrangement by the old forces, so I followed my feelings and accepted more interference from the old forces. My righteous thoughts were diminishing, and the sadness, pity and lust were growing.
I had a dream where I saw that this man was my husband in a previous lifetime and the dream let me develop trust and dependence on him.
I lost my mother when I was little so I had a desire to be protected. This also magnified my desires and lust.
Step by step, I was led by the old forces to do some wrong things.
But our benevolent Master didn't give up on me. In a dream, I went to a group Fa-study. There were only two people in the room. A female practitioner stood there barefoot. I had a pair of slippers on. A clear thought entered my mind. The fellow practitioner was pure and clean but I was walking into a swamp of lust.
I saw what I had done wrong and was full of regret and self-blame. I became determined to pick myself up and to not be defeated by the old forces.
Master said:
“Although they differ in their specific manifestations, they all aim to break the will of those who cultivate in a righteous Fa.” (“Path” from Essentials for Further Advancement II).
Recently, I read a sharing on Minghui.org where a practitioner wrote that it's important to get rid of lust completely. If a little bit of lust remains in a practitioner, it can burst out into flames when the right conditions arise.
Nowadays, I can better recognize the impure elements imposed on my mind by the old forces and immediately get rid of them without the slightest hesitation. I am highly alert to my thoughts and don't give the old forces any chance to interfere with me.
The path of righteous cultivation is always narrow. Surrounded by the piercing eyes of the old forces, I feel that our paths to consummation are like navigating through a land with ditches and abysses everywhere.
Master said:
“But, as long as it hasn’t ended, the evil will be evil just the same. It’s just like how poison is bound to be poisonous, and even if you asked it not to be poisonous it couldn’t do that. So you must not lower your guard. Try your best not to let the old forces exploit any gaps in your cultivation. As for things at the end, Master will be watching and deciding how to handle them.”(“Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference”)
Master also said:
“I knew how trying this affair would be, and so I resolved many things for Dafa disciples over the course of history, and for this reason I protected you life after life, watching over you all the way through. Yet at the present moment in history, at this brief-yet-critical moment that determines everything, the requirements for you are strict.”(“Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference”)
Master's teachings reminded me to maintain righteous thoughts and be aware of the evil forces.
The above is my personal understanding at my current level. Please kindly point out anything that does not conform to the Fa.
Category: Improving Oneself
