(Minghui.org) Many things that happen in our daily lives can point out our attachments and help us cultivate.
When we have conflicts with others we often argue about who's right or who's wrong. We focus on the surface issue instead of realizing that the conflict occurred because we have attachments which we need to eliminate. Everything we experience happens for a reason.
If we notice that another practitioner does not cultivate his or her speech, we should search inward to see if we have the same problem. Although one may think that we don't have that problem, there is always a reason when a cultivator sees it as they may also have that attachment.
Looking Inward for a Reason
A practitioner was not careful about his choice of words when we discussed some safety issues. I thought, “How can you speak that way? You are not minding your speech as a practitioner should.” When I later noticed that I had the same problem, I understood that he had given me an opportunity to examine myself.
One day when two colleagues and I were driving together, one of them kept mentioning how he helped other people. I thought, “I don't want to listen to you bragging.” I realized that I looked down on him because I was jealous, and that I really needed to eliminate this attachment.
Soon, I had another thought, “He was demonstrating his show-off mentality to me. Do I have the same attachment?” I looked inwards and could not find anything wrong on my part. However, after a while I remembered another incident.
A coworker told me that her husband gave her money to buy an expensive purse. I immediately replied that my mother gave me about the same amount to spend. As soon as I said that I realized that I had some deeply buried attachments. First, I wanted to show-off since I knew that her husband wouldn't give her much. Secondly, I saw my strong attachment to competitiveness. I had behaved just as Master said:
“It has become natural for them, and perhaps they do not realize it themselves. Subconsciously, they just have this mentality of showing off.” (Zhuan Falun)
Correcting Oneself
Lately, I've done better at searching inwards, and I've noticed that much of what I say is motivated by my selfishness. I now work on correcting my words and behavior.
When we see or hear others going through conflicts we should look inward for attachments inside us which cause us to feel uncomfortable.
Master said,
“However, if you are focused on the superficial, ordinary human things, then you are attached and are using human thinking.” (“Be More Diligent” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference X)
Should a practitioner be disturbed by the things happening in everyday society? If we can remember that we are practitioners we should be able to not only identify our attachments, but also notice whether our behavior or words are in line with the Fa.
During some conflicts when I haven't been able to identify my shortcomings I remember to clear my field. Master said,
“… thinking about eliminating the bad thoughts, karma, bad notions, and external interference in their minds.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2001 Canada Fa Conference” from Guiding the Voyage)
If we sincerely search inward, Master will help us. When I had a conflict with another practitioner, I found many attachments, including saving face. However, I still could not find the root of the problem. When I finished reading “On Dafa,” I suddenly enlightened that my biggest problem was lack of compassion. I was cultivating Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, but I still didn't have compassion. I now pay more attention to cultivating compassion.
If we can calmly look for our motives when we are in the middle of a conflict we may be able to eliminate the feeling of resentment, since the way we look at the situation will change. Instead of getting angry, you should think, “Why did this happen to me? What should I learn from this?”
I still have many shortcomings in my cultivation, and I will continue to look inward and eliminate everything that is not on the Fa.
Category: Improving Oneself
