(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Dafa in 1994. I am writing this article to share a bitter lesson with fellow practitioners, because it eventually turned into my deepest regret.
After my wife passed away last year, I fell apart and was mired in the attachment to sentiment. I did not study the Fa, do any of the three things, and felt lonely and empty.
I coincidentally met someone through WeChat. She suggested that I invest in the spot market. Although I did not really know what this was all about, I understood that a cultivator should not do it.
Then, another person showed me the profits she had made from it.
Finally, I wavered and thought, “It's an investment, not speculating in the stock market. It does not violate the Fa principles. Besides, it is an easy way to make money.”
I invested 50,000 yuan and made 20,000 yuan on that investment. I put in an additional 100,000 yuan, but my beginner's luck had deserted me, and I kept losing money until I lost all of it.
It appeared that I had gotten past this gambling stage and found my attachments to comfort and greed. But that was the end of my looking within and addressing the problem.
Although I had stopped playing the stock market, I cultivated on and off. With the intention of clarifying truth through WeChat, I kept adding people to my contacts.
Then, I talked to someone who claimed to be the investment manager in her company. I told her about my losses in the spot market, and she sweet talked me into making investments through her company.
First, I started with a small investment, but the investment fever got hold of me and I invested close to a million yuan. After doing great initially, my luck changed and I eventually lost most of my money.
Instead of returning to cultivation, I stopped studying the Fa and doing the exercises. My mind was filled with thoughts of making money through investments, and I turned into an ordinary person.
I read some practitioners' experience sharing articles on Minghui about the lessons they had learned from speculating in the stock market and other investments. My mind became clear. I realized I had made mistakes, yet I was of two minds and hoped that my luck would turn.
Now, I realize that I was stupid. I had turned against the Fa! Master had clearly warned us not to speculate in the stock market.
However, the gambling fever had me in its thrall. When the market was bad, I even sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate interference.
The old forces found an opportunity to persecute me. My actions were the entry into the old forces' trap.
The temptation was just too strong, although I knew in my heart that it was wrong. The interfering factors' substance behind my mind kept telling me to recover my losses. The old forces took advantage of my attachments and turned it into financial persecution, which made me lose more and more of my money. The continuous temptation made me give up cultivation. I still shudder when I think of how I moved farther and farther away from the Fa.
Master's words often flashed in my mind, but my strong attachment got the upper hand and pulled me deeper into a vortex of pursuing personal gain.
With fellow practitioners' help, I finally woke up and let go of my attachments. It was as if a huge rock had been lifted off me.
I know I should not have made this mistake, which left a stain on my cultivation. Driven by attachments to fame, fortune, comfort, lust, and others, I wanted ordinary folks to see how capable I was and how I could prepare for my retirement.
The root cause was my lack of faith in Dafa. Master has sacrificed so much to give us more time, but I ended up squandering it. Master gave me a second chance.
Even though I no longer speculate, unsavory thoughts that tell me to recover my losses show up in my mind. To step out of this desire, I have to study the Fa more, eliminate the bad thoughts, strengthen my faith, and never again step away from my cultivation path.
I am sharing my bitter lesson in the hope that it will awaken my fellow practitioners who are struggling with the same issue. Let us stay away from the evil's temptation, walk well on the path of our cultivation and truly assist Master during this Fa-rectification period.