(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa in 2012. I experienced a lot of ups and downs during my past few years of cultivation, but Dafa has helped me straighten out my life.
I am slowly understanding more Falun Dafa principles and have succeeded in becoming a better person,, but I know I still have a long way to go.
No matter, my heart is sincere. I want very much to practice and become a better person. Nothing can deter my determination now that I have the good fortune to have found Master and Dafa in this special time in history. Below is a summary of my cultivation experiences.
I am 47 years old. In 2012, during the months of July and August, I went to one of the county towns in our city to open a fish tackling business.
I got a Shen Yun Performing Arts DVD by chance in October. When the curtain opened, what I saw was five thousand years of China’s civilization. I was amazed. I had never seen anything so magnificent.
Shen Yun touched something in me. Tears continued to fall uncontrollably. It happens every time I watch Shen Yun.
I still remember how I loved the Miao and Mongolian folk dances, and the male dancers living in the high mountains where they danced joyfully for the gods.
I especially love the dances that display the courage and compassion of Falun Dafa disciples under persecution.
As an ordinary person at that time, I did not have much understanding about why Falun Dafa is being persecuted.
Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but be moved by the stories. The dances showcasing traditional Chinese culture woke me up to the sad fact that, because of what the Communist Party did, most people are not even aware of our brilliant history.
After watching Shen Yun, I felt a strong urge to find out the stories behind the dances.
I went searching for the man who handed out Shen Yun DVDs. I found out that he worked nearby and I paid him a visit.
He talked to me about Falun Dafa and helped me renounce the Communist Party and withdraw from all its affiliated organizations.
I remember he said something I didn’t quite pay attention to at the time.
He said, “You have a predestined relationship with Dafa. I’m sure you’ll enter into cultivation at a later date.”
But I did think, “What’s so great about Dafa cultivation?”
With continued visits back and forth, I got to know and understand him more. He shared with me many Falun Dafa informational DVDs.
Finally, he gave me a book called Zhuan Falun, and asked me to treasure it and read it with my heart.
After reading a few pages, I returned the book to him and told him I found it easier and more convenient to read it online.
Thinking back, I realize how lucky I was to be able to find Dafa at a time when there were a lot of interferences.
For instance, I loved fishing and enjoyed shooting the breeze and playing cards with my fishing friends. When would I find time to read?
Eventually, I did finish reading the book, even though it had taken me almost three months to do so.
After that, I felt a strong desire to start Dafa cultivation. I sought out the same practitioner and started Falun Dafa practice.
The first tribulation I encountered was already more than I could bear.
I got up in the wee hours of the morning and joined the practitioner and his family for the 3:50 a.m. exercises.
During the second exercise when we have to hold the law wheel in several positions, I felt I was carrying an immensely heavy load while time was passing excruciating slowly. I had to bite down on my teeth. After half an hour, I had already sweated up a storm.
The worst was still to come.
Perhaps I had done too many bad deeds in my past, I couldn’t sit double lotus or even single lotus. In fact, I could barely cross my ankles. In about two minutes, I had to give up even that because of the pain.
From that day on, my body showed signs of karmic elimination. Both my legs were extremely itchy. I couldn’t help scratching them until they became bloody.
Then, my feet started bloating up so badly that I couldn’t even put on my shoes.
The practitioner, my new friend, told me those were all good things. It was Master purifying my body. But my fishing friends all urged me to go to hospital or there could be worse consequences.
I didn’t pay my fishing friends any mind. But my condition did make my life a bit inconvenient.
By fall, when the weather turned a lot cooler, my condition improved greatly and the swelling finally disappeared.
After I obtained the Fa, I realized fishing is killing so, in August 2012, I sold my fish tackle business and returned to my hometown.
I continued to go online to study the Fa. I also read every one of Master’s recent writings. However, I was quite troubled, because in my hometown I didn’t have a cultivation environment because I didn’t know any practitioner there.
I remember when I first started practicing I just couldn’t understand why Falun Dafa would be persecuted.
My practitioner friend told me, “Just keep on studying the Fa. Read on, follow the order on the booklist, when you get to Guiding the Voyage, you will understand.”
So, I looked forward to Guiding the Voyage.
When I finally got there and starting reading, I couldn’t control my tears.
I called up my practitioner friend in the county town and sobbed out my understanding. He told me not to continue over the phone but to pay him a visit.
When I arrived at his home, I let loose and bawled out my emotions. He was moved and we had a good cry together.
I remember there was another practitioner there who said to me, “Master is most compassionate. You must cultivate well. You are a lucky person to obtain the Fa during this terrible time. When you came to this town, it wasn’t for your business. It was so that you could obtain the Fa here.”
I believe it was indeed so. I believe I was truly lucky to have obtained the Fa at the last stage of this Fa-rectification period.
When they realized I had not been in contact with any practitioner in my hometown, they put me in touch with my local practitioners so my cultivation environment was again established.
For the past three summers, my legs would be inflicted with inexplicable itchiness, which only felt a little better when I scratched them until they bled.
And so, both my legs were covered with scabs. They looked disgusting.
The condition felt worse at night. Sometimes the affected areas would even feel painful. It got so bad I couldn’t even fall asleep. My spirit was practically at the brink of collapse.
When it got to the point where I didn’t think I could bear it any more, I would kneel in front of Master’s portrait in tears and pleaded for Master to lessen my pain.
It was then I would remember that Master has shared with us what great enlightened beings had told him: “When it’s difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it’s impossible to do, you can do it” (Zhuan Falun)
It was then I would find it possible to summon up enough strength and felt much heartened.
There was another tribulation I had to overcome. It came in the form of human interference. My parents and my siblings started pressuring me to go for hospital treatment. We practically got into a terrible fight over that.
It was truly like what Master says: “Abundant troubles rain down together, / All to see: Can you pull through?” (“Tempering the Will” in HongYin)
It was Master who helped me to successfully step over one hurdle after another.
By that time it was almost September. With the arrival of cooler weather, my legs started to heal. So I said to my family, “Let’s wait another month.”
In less than a month, my legs were fine.
I had always had a very serious problem with lust.
Master says: “We begin cultivation practice as everyday people. The first step is this test, and everyone will run into it.” (Zhuan Falun)
Before I got married, I had had over a dozen girlfriends. That fact surely whetted my appetite for lust, so that even after marriage, I still didn’t behave differently.
At that time, my business afforded me ample funds, so I would often go out with friends looking for sensual pleasure and spending time with ladies of ill-repute.
After my divorce, I would all the more frequent erotic establishments, sometimes traveling far distances, looking for solace.
I also spent an inordinate amount of time surfing pornographic websites. Even after I started cultivation practice, I would still continue off and on. I knew it was wrong but I just couldn’t control myself.
Master says:
“Once your mind thinks about it, you will ejaculate and make it a reality. Think about it, everyone: In our cultivation practice, the essence of the body is used to cultivate one’s life; you cannot always ejaculate like this. Meanwhile, you have not passed the lust test. How can it be permitted?” (Zhuan Falun)
One day, I went surfing on the pornographic website. That night, when I went to sleep, I found myself in a dark space. In the dimness, I noticed the ground was crawling with all kinds of snakes.
Just as they were ready to attack me, a bright light came from somewhere. I saw Master in a yellow cassock standing in midair with one palm erect in front of His chest.
In a split second, all the snakes disappeared without a trace.
I woke up with a start, but drifted off to sleep again.
This time, what showed up was a giant snake, wearing a crown, with its head raised, its forked tongue flicking about, ready to pounce on me.
Just at the nick of time, a mink showed up somewhere under my feet. It made a leap toward the king snake and bit down on its head.
I woke up in shock, sweating profusely.
Since then, my attachment to lust simmered down quite a bit.
Just as Master says:
“The cause of your illness has been removed, and what remains is only this bit of black qi that will come out on its own to let you suffer some and have some pain. It is forbidden for you not to suffer even a little bit.” (Zhuan Falun)
Since then, even when I had bad thoughts, they were not as strong as before, and would disappear if I would just use a little restraint.
Later, when I shared that with my practitioner friend, he told me it was Master who had saved me and helped me get rid of my attachment to lust.
I truly want to thank Master. Without His compassion, what would have become of me?
After I submerged myself into our local Fa study group, fellow practitioners asked me if I have done the three things well.
When I told them I believe I was lacking in the area of clarifying the truth, they encouraged me and arranged for me to go out with a veteran practitioner to speak face to face with people.
The veteran practitioner, who started to practice Dafa since 1996, was more than 70 years old. In gratitude toward Dafa for curing her of all her past illnesses, she has remained a staunch believer and supporter of Falun Dafa even when facing persecution. I felt lucky to have her as a mentor.
Every morning at 8 o’clock, we would walk along the main sections of town. She would talk to everybody who would listen, to clarify the truth and persuade each to renounce the Communist Party.
Every day, she would be able to help at least 10 people, and sometimes more than 20 people.
At first, I was merely assisting her with sending forth righteous thoughts or coming up with different pseudonyms she could use for people.
But, soon, I felt comfortable enough to open up and talk to people myself. I figure if I could save one person, it would be a big step forward for me.
One time, the veteran practitioner said “Falun Dafa is good!” to a middle-aged man who responded with real menace in his voice, “You say it again, I’ll report you to the police so they’ll send for the 610 Office and have you arrested.”
The veteran practitioner calmly told him, “The chief of the 610 Office, Li Dongsheng, has already been arrested. Who’ll be willing to come forward to handle this thing now?”
The man looked at once as if his balloon had been popped and walked off in a big hurry.
Another time, at a bus depot, the veteran practitioner was speaking to another middle-aged man who retorted, “My father-in-law practices Falun Dafa, but I’m not impressed.”
When we would run into this kind of person before, we would basically grin and bear it and let it go.
That time, however, I spoke up, “What they are telling you is for your own good. They hope you will understand the truth so that you will have a bright and safe future. Moreover, do you really find anything wrong with Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance?”
The man promptly changed his tune. He eased himself out of his embarrassment by mumbling something good about Falun Dafa before walking on.
From that incident, I understood a Fa principle.
Master says: “If thoughts are righteous / Evil will collapse” (“What’s to Fear?” in Hong Yin Vol. II)
Generation after generation, Chinese parents have the tendency to follow old ideas and habits to look at children as personal property and feel the need to interfere with every aspect of their lives, how they live and learn, what kind of job they do and whom they marry.
My marriage was not happy. I ended up in divorce. My employment was unsatisfactory. I finally lost my job.
I blamed my parents, believing they were responsible for all my misfortunes.
Whenever things went wrong, I would vent my frustrations on them, so much so we were always on the verge of estrangement, with our relationship stiff and bilious.
After studying the Fa, I understood that all things have karmic relationships, nothing is without cause and effect. But, Dafa emphasizes on Forbearance.
And so, I worked hard on restraining myself from being acrimonious. I tried to be tolerant and enduring. Even though I did not attain the level of forbearance as expected of cultivators, I still succeeded in improving our familial relationship.
Before cultivation practice, I indulged in wining, dining, lustful activities, and gambling. These bad habits are very difficult to get rid of.
I started playing cards at a tender age, and so had been hooked on gambling for several decades. I still haven’t paid up the gambling debts I accumulated a few years ago.
Without the power of Dafa, I will have found it impossible to get out from under.
To pay back my debts, I entered into a business partnership with a relative who could speak with great eloquence, but she was also very combative.
Because of my equally aggressive personality, we would constantly find ourselves at odds with each other.
Every time after a big fight, I would be filled with remorse, lamenting, “Alas, I failed to upgrade my heart and mine nature!”
Master says:
“I would say that the physical pains are the easiest thing to endure, as they can be overcome by biting the teeth tightly. When a conflict takes place between one another, the mind is the hardest thing to control.” (Zhuan Falun)
One time, we were in the middle of another dispute when my practitioner friend came for a visit. He shared with me his thoughts.
He said, “No matter who is right and who is wrong, you are a cultivator. You are in conflict with a non-cultivator, so that means you are wrong. I recommend you apologize promptly.”
I did. My partner was very touched and almost broke down in tears.
Perhaps, to ordinary people, arguments are normal. However, cultivators have to hold themselves up to a higher standard.
Shortly after that last incident, we needed to get extra help. We decided on my brother-in-law who happened to be her husband’s second cousin. She thought a payment of 600 yuan a month would be sufficient. I believe 1,000 yuan would be more appropriate.
When I found out she told her husband 1000 yuan was her idea so her husband would thank her for taking care of his family, I merely smiled, figured that I was gaining a deeper insight into her personality, and let it go.
About three months ago, I discovered the annual sales volume of my business enterprise has risen 10 percent, yet our net profit was down 30 percent.
Both my mother and sister thought that was odd.
I tried to look at it from what Dafa teaches about loss and gain.
I thought, “If my partner had actually tampered with the account and tried to cheat me, she would be giving me de, which is what cultivators treasure the most, so why not just let it be?
“But, if I explained like that to my mother and sister, they probably wouldn’t understand this Fa principle.”
So I told them instead, “Why don’t we wait till we have real proof. It’s not good to suspect anybody prematurely.”
My sister said, “What proof do you still need? Sales volume rises but net profit drops. That’s proof enough!”
I just dismissed what she said with a smile.
I figured it must be Master’s arrangement to temper my nature and help me get rid of my attachments. Without my partner and the environment she creates, how would I improve?
I thank all practitioners in my Fa study group, for their concern, encouragement, and support.
I know I have not cultivated diligently enough. There are many attachments I need to uncover and get rid of. There are lots of things I still need to work on and improve, including doing well the three things and sitting in double lotus in meditation.