(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa in May 1996. As I listened to Master's lecture for the first time, I felt the words resonate strongly in my heart. I immediately knew that this was what I had been waiting for my entire life.
1. Initial Experiences after Obtaining the Fa
Increased Courage
I'm a high school teacher. Before I began practicing, I was physically weak and very timid. I was so frightened of everything that I was even afraid to stay at home alone. Three days after I obtained the Fa, I realized that Master's Fashen would be constantly beside me. From then on, I could even walk the streets at night without fear.
Four months later, one of my students suffered a relapse of her mental illness and had to be sent home. At that time, neither of her parents were home. Thus we teachers had to stay with her for two days. Quite a number of the male teachers feared that this student would strangle them to death in their sleep and refused to stay under the same roof with her. Only I volunteered to stay with her.
I thought, “Aren't insane people being controlled by other beings? I'm a Dafa practitioner walking the path to godhood, with Master's Fashen protecting me. Nobody can touch me!” This student refused to listen to anyone else but me. She only followed my instructions, but hit others.
Role Model
Before I started practicing Falun Gong, there was a distance between me and the school principal, and we did not speak to each other for nearly six months. After I started cultivation, I took the initiative to resolve our differences. From then on he trusted me implicitly and even promoted me to department head. He said, “You have done well. Even if you just sit there quietly without saying a word, you are able to set an example for them to follow."
I refused bribes from parents and cared for all my students as if they were my own children, becoming their mentor and confidante. After graduating, some students said they wanted to call me "sister," and some even wanted to call me "mother." Their parents also expressed their gratitude for my positive influence on their children.
In the past, I hadn't placed much importance on the relationship between myself and my husband, and the animosity between us had become so serious that we even considered separating. After obtaining the Fa and under its guidance, my broken family quickly became harmonious. After witnessing this change, my husband's friends started advising others facing marital woes to start practicing Falun Gong.
Tribulation
Soon after I began practicing, the school arranged for me to take on the workload for three people. Originally, school regulations stipulated that I was entitled to additional remuneration. However, my leader told me to voluntarily take on this workload without compensation.
By then I cared little for personal gain, but secretly harbored an attachment to seeking fame. At our year-end appraisal, this attachment was completely exposed. Initially I followed the requirements of the Fa and tried to let go of my attachment to seeking fame. However, just as Master mentioned,
“But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun )
Some colleagues began to gossip: “Your score was ranked top, for sure you will be promoted.” I told myself not to be moved and calmed myself. Yet later others began gossiping: “The points accrued from the extra work you did were removed, and you have fallen in ranking.” I thought, "So be it." After a while someone told me, “The leaders, after a long drawn discussion, have decided to reinstate your position.” On the last day, a colleague ran over to hastily inform me, “Someone bribed the leader, and they have quietly passed you over.”
My heart was slightly moved, and I went to the staff room to question my leader. We got into an argument. Later I searched inwards and concluded I had yet to give up the attachment to fame. I studied the Fa continuously and kept reminding myself to relinquish this attachment, which I managed to give up a week later.
After giving up this attachment, I found that I would always get a share of the benefits. In my heart, however, I truly cared little for it. Even more miraculously, I was compensated for my back pay. Just as Master mentioned,
“...as a practitioner should follow the course of nature. If something is yours, you will not lose it. If something is not yours, you will not have it even if you fight for it.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
Most teachers have a big attachment to saving face. Especially in front of their students, they will definitely try to protect their position. Once, a tardy student walked angrily into my classroom. I criticized her lightly, but she used foul words to swear at me in return. Just as I was starting to become angry, I remembered Master's words:
“As you know, when a person reaches the Arhat level, in his heart he is not concerned about anything. He does not care at all in his heart for any ordinary human matter, and he will always be smiling and in good spirits. No matter how much loss he suffers, he will still be smiling and in good spirits without any concern. If you can really do this, you have already reached the entry-level Fruit Status of Arhatship.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
My mind instantly calmed down, and, with a smile, I let her return to her seat and told her, “You should consider if what you did just now was right or not.” After school, she handed me a letter in which she wrote that this was the first time she had encountered such a kindhearted teacher.
2. My Experiences at the Start of Persecution
Stepping Forward
Just as I was starting to immerse myself in the blissfulness of obtaining the Fa, the evil persecution began. At that time, although Dafa was overwhelmingly slandered, my faith in Master and the Fa remained steadfast. But constant harassment from my work unit and the police resulted in my attachment to fear, and I began studying the Fa and exercising secretly at home.
On July 18, 2000, I decided to travel to Beijing to submit a petition. To avoid being interrogated by the police at the train terminal, I walked 30 kilometers alone at night, boarding a train at the outskirts. At unfamiliar places I followed the railway lines, reciting the Fa from memory as I walked. Bright moonlight shone down on me, and it felt like Master's gaze, watching over me as I traveled to fulfill this sacred and solemn task.
I walked till my feet were covered in bloody blisters, and just when I was in too much pain to move, Master arranged for a passing cart to take me to the train station. At the road opposite Tiananmen Square, Master arranged for me to meet with another practitioner, and together we walked to Tiananmen Square.
Predestined Relationships in Prison
I was arrested and beaten by three police officers. I remembered that I was a Dafa disciple, under Master's protection, and no one could move my heart. I felt no pain, though the police officer kept slapping me. The other two punched and kicked me, but I remained standing firmly upright.
After they grew tired of beating me, they handcuffed my arms behind my back and stood under the air conditioning unit to cool off. After a long time, my arms started to feel numb and the pain in my legs became worse, as if skewers of bone were inserted into my flesh. My human thoughts began to come up, and just as I thought, “When will this end?” I started feeling worse. Instantly I knew this was wrong and thought, “Would a god think this way?”
Noticing the two officers standing nearby and slandering Dafa, I started clarifying the truth to them. After I talked to them for an hour, their attitudes completely changed, and they started treating me kindly, releasing me from the cuffs and allowing me to sit on the carpet. At this point, I felt as though I was born anew and enjoyed a sense of weightlessness; the fatigue and pain accumulated from the past few days disappeared. Later I was imprisoned in the detention center for a month.
3. Saving People, Spreading the Truth to Isolated Places
Master said:
“You've done very well in clarifying the truth to the people of the world. At the same time, I can tell you that this is also magnificent and merciful. It looks like we're giving a flyer to an everyday person, and it appears that we're telling everyday people what the truth is. Let me tell you, when this Fa-rectification matter is over, humankind will enter the next stage, and those people and beings who in their minds think that the Great Fa of the cosmos isn't good will be the first weeded out. It's because no matter how bad some beings in the cosmos are, they are even worse, for what they're against is the Fa of the cosmos. So when we clarify the truth, we're eliminating some people's evil thoughts towards Dafa. Haven't we rescued them, at least when it comes to this? Since in the process of your clarifying the truth there are people who obtain the Fa, not only are their sins eliminated, but at the same time you will have also saved them. Doesn't this show that you've done something that's more merciful, something even better?” (“Teaching the Fa at the Great Lakes Fa Conference in North America” 2000)
After studying Master's lectures, I realized my mission and wholeheartedly started to clarify the truth to save people.
Dissolving the Attachment to Fear
In the beginning, I only dared to distribute truth clarification-materials at night to nearby areas on a small scale. Even distributing this amount aroused such fear within me that I felt as if my heart was ready to jump out of my chest. So we started organizing Fa study groups, where we studied two lectures from Zhuan Falun every day. By sharing among ourselves, we uncovered our attachments, and encouraged each other. Gradually our righteous thoughts became stronger.
Later, more and more local practitioners started going out. Our Fa study group began to distribute materials to villages within our prefecture. From early 2001 to late 2002, we managed to distribute the materials to our entire prefecture at least once.
We had not been to many of these villages, relying on maps and trial and error to reach them. We would enter the village late at night. Often after distributing everything, we would find ourselves at the outskirts of the village, near our car. We would distribute to up to 2 or 3 villages each night, returning home at dawn.
4. Encountering the Persecution in a Brainwashing Center
“Respect My Master”
In the fall of 2001, the local authorities started to conduct brainwashing sessions. I was arrested on the morning of September 25 and immediately began to clarify the truth once I entered the room. One of the evildoing people cursed Master. I said to him, “Respect my master, or leave.” He really left the room.
As I had studied the Fa consistently, Master helped me gain wisdom. The authorities invited religious experts from around the province to talk to me, in an unsuccessful attempt to change my mind. Finally they conceded, “If this continues, even we will be converted by you.”
The Evil Is Unable to Withstand
I went on a hunger strike the instant I was illegally arrested, and although I spent 6 days without food or water, I did not feel thirsty or hungry at all. My lips remained rosy, though I lost a bit of weight. I lay in bed the entire time, rejecting all demands made by the persecutors. They tried to make me go to a classroom to watch a slanderous video, but after my strong refusal, they left me alone.
A "re-education" assistant wanted to recite a defamatory essay, slandering Master. She refused to stop even after I said, “Stop talking!” I told her, “I will leave if you refuse to stop,” and she quietly walked away. Yet another person wanted to force-feed me water. I looked her in the eye and firmly said, “You dare to force me?” She immediately replied, “I will not force-feed you” and walked away.
Except while asleep, I continuously recited the Fa from memory and sent forth righteous thoughts. By day 2 the discomfort of not eating had disappeared entirely, replaced with a cocoon of gong wrapped around my body.
On day 6 I was released by the brainwashing center staff.
Back at my parent's home, my father advised me to start with rice soup before slowly eating solid food. I told him, “There's no need. I am fine, as Master is looking after me.” All we had at home then were fruit and mooncakes bought to celebrate the festival on August 15. I ate an apple and one mooncake.
My father observed me in shock. After seeing that I remained fine hours after my meal, he was finally convinced of the supernatural powers of Dafa. In the past, because he had suffered greatly during the Cultural Revolution, he feared the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and thus remained non-supportive of my cultivating Falun Gong. He did not want me to do any Fa-validation activities, and even beat me to prevent me from practicing. After he realized the supernatural capabilities of Dafa, he no longer objected when I did Dafa work.
Dafa Practitioners Validate Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance
On September 17, 2002, the police again illegally arrested me and took me to the brainwashing center in the city. During the arrest, one of the officers beat me badly. I had a bloody nose, swollen face, and loss of hearing in my left ear. A few days later, my face was covered with bruises. I started a hunger strike in protest.
Searching inwards, I discovered that I was beaten because I had evil thoughts during my arrest, and even pointed at the police officer and scolded him. Master was then not able to protect me. Dafa practitioners strive to validate Truthfulness- Compassion-Forbearance. Master can only protect practitioners who follow the requirements of the Fa. After enlightening to this principle, I told myself that, no matter how badly I was persecuted, I must treat each person with kindness.
Once while I was suffering from a high fever, one of the officers tried to pinch my nostrils shut in an attempt to suffocate me. I gently moved his hand away and said, “I'm not feeling well, please don't touch me.” He instantly removed his hand. From that day on, nobody treated me badly.
While in detention, besides memorizing the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts, I spent much of my time searching inwards. The day I was arrested, a fellow practitioner asked me to bring home some Dafa videotapes for safekeeping. At that time, I did not agree, as I was afraid and wanted to maintain my safe and comfortable life. Also, I feared being tortured and wanted to save myself.
After releasing these attachments one by one, Master arranged for me to display illness symptoms. As a result, the officers forced me to have an infusion and sent a woman to my bedside to “reeducate” me. I told her that only verbal debate was allowed, physical violence was prohibited. Whoever's logic was more rational would be considered the winner. Unable to counter my words, she was just about to lose her temper when I reminded her of our agreement. At this point she suddenly blurted out, “This is all because of the CCP's fear of Falun Gong.”
“I Do Not Fear Death, But Neither Can I Die”
One leader from our county education system visited me after August 15 and told me, “The mayor has decreed that, as long as you are alive and refuse to renounce Falun Gong, you won't be released.” I replied, “I started practicing Falun Gong to cure my serious heart condition. Falun Gong gave me a new lease on life, and I will die if I renounce it. You might as well wait for me to die before carrying my corpse out.”
After they left, evil forces from other dimensions began to intensify their persecution of me. As a result, time passed by very slowly for me, and minutes felt like years, much to my discomfort. Attempting to understand this from the perspective of the Fa, I realized that the evil was using time-space to persecute me, so I sent forth righteous thoughts to transcend the time-space of this human dimension.
The four remaining days passed by in a blur, as though only a few seconds had passed. According to the people there, it was as though I had entered a coma for 4 days, shocking all who saw me. I did not feel uncomfortable at all, and my mind was clear.
In the bathroom one day, the only place in the center where fellow practitioners could meet each other, a practitioner told me that Master had just published a new poem, “Be Clearheaded:”
“Dafa disciples, away with your tears, The demon Satan has completely collapsed. Clarify the facts, send righteous thoughts, Expose the lies, clean out the rotten ghouls.”
With her help, I memorized the lines. Master's Fa helped me become more clearheaded. On the brink of collapse, the evil is still attempting to persecute Dafa practitioners.
I started to send forth righteous thoughts after returning to my room, and discovered that the evil in other dimensions were keen on “reforming” me, because I had a lot of influence locally. While I was sending forth righteous thoughts, my head felt as though it was going to explode. The evil formed an impregnable fortress, and I felt as if my main consciousness was going out of control. Facing the evil forces in other dimensions, I declared, “I will follow my Master to the end.”
About 10 days into my hunger strike, after sending forth righteous thoughts for an hour, I felt as though I was suspended in midair. At that point, violent thunder and lightning struck from the sky, as if trying to blast the brainwashing center to pieces. Heavy rain feel in sheets.
It felt as though the evil in another dimension was unable to tolerate much more. They sent me to the city hospital that night. The evil still refused to admit defeat, and administered poison to me intravenously. My body ached painfully.
I told the evil in the other dimension, “You won't get your way. I'm not afraid of pain.” As soon as I said this, the poison started to take effect, and I suffered from incontinence, burning pain in my urethra, accompanied by constant diarrhea. After suffering like this for about an hour, I realized that this was caused by the evil forces out to persecute me. I asked the person with me for help, and I sat leaning against the headboard. Under the blankets, I erected my palm and sent forth righteous thoughts for an hour until my abnormal symptoms disappeared.
At that time, it felt as if I'd drifted further and further away from the world of the living. However, I saw through the evil's trick and thought, “I'm not afraid of death, but I cannot die. I have yet to complete my mission in this human world. I will follow Master and cultivate to the end.”
They released me that afternoon. The brainwashing center had tortured me for 20 days.
Back at home, I recovered rapidly with Fa study and the exercises. Ten days later officials paid me a visit, only to find me in the fields helping my parents with the autumn harvest. News of this miracle instantly spread throughout my workplace. From then on, nobody dared to persecute me for practicing Falun Gong.
5. Conclusion: Put the Fa First and Truly Cultivate Oneself
My overall understanding from cultivation is that, in any situation, Dafa practitioners must steadfastly believe in Master and the Fa, constantly search inwards, and be mindful to first reflect within upon encountering tribulations. Practitioners must also be prepared to endure hardship and not crave a comfortable life, treat everyone with compassion, and constantly maintain righteous thoughts of saving people. To achieve this, one must diligently study the Fa well and consistently send forth righteous thoughts to maintain a righteous mindset.
I have experienced many tribulations during my cultivation. It is my perception that the evil forces appear determined to drive me to my death. However I also feel Master's constant protection. I sincerely thank Master for His benevolent protection throughout these 18 years. Master, please rest assured that your disciple will do well the three things in any circumstance and save more sentient beings!
