(Minghui.org) I had been a good student since I was a child. I developed well physically, intellectually, and morally. When I was in the fourth grade, the evil party asked me to join the Young Pioneers and be a commander there. When I was in junior high, I was one of the first to be asked to join the Communist Youth League. By the time I was in college the evil party talked to me quite a bit about joining the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). One of my teachers told me that as an outstanding student, if I joined the party, I would have the best chance to stay in the city after I graduated. At that time, one male student and I were the only members of the CCP.
After graduation from college, I got a job with a major national company because I was an outstanding student and a member of the party. At that time China was moving from a planned economy into a free economy. This company had control of all the resources in the province. Every product from the company had two prices; one for the free market and a lower one for domestic distribution. The manager of each product department had the final say regarding which price to use in a given case. All managers were party members and they used this difference in pricing to make money for themselves. What they said in meetings was the opposite of what they actually did and I found it difficult to work with these kinds of people. When it came to assigning housing to workers within the company, all the party members had the best choices. Although I had the best record in terms of work performed, I ended up in one of the worst locations, because I was not a “friend” of the “elite” group.
In the autumn of 1998 I learned about Dafa at a friend's home. He was a friend of my colleague and I first met him in the spring of 1998. Since 1995 he had conducted himself in accordance with Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I thought that in a society with low morality, it was difficult to find someone who was open and sincere. I felt good about having a friend who was straightforward and friendly. He gave me a book about Dafa to read and I liked what I read in the book.
Later, we became close friends and decided to get married. What I liked about him was that he wanted to follow Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and improve his character. This was what I liked to do also. However, at that time I was an atheist, although my great-grandmother was a Christian and my grandmother and my husband's grandparents were Buddhists. The problem was that my mother was fooled by the CCP and was an atheist and told me that I must handle everything myself because there were no higher level beings to help me. Thus, while my husband was a practitioner and told me about the benefits of practicing Dafa, I was not able to follow his advice. I could not understand why he was able to listen to Teacher's lectures so many times. He told me that he felt great each time after doing the exercises. He asked me to try. I did try once but I was not able to sit quietly for more than five minutes. Hence, I decided that these exercises were not for me. I should just try to be a good woman. Thus, before my daughter was born, my husband was the only one doing the exercises.
After July 1999 the CCP began persecuting Falun Dafa. An informed party member told me to be careful, because all practitioners were being closely watched. At that time, false accusations and slander against Dafa were being publicized in my company. When I compared what they said versus the way my husband conducted himself, it was clear that he was an exceptionally good person and his character was much better than any ordinary person including myself. In 2002 I resigned from the company and my file was transferred to our local community. At first I was concerned about what to do about my standing as a party member. Later, I was happy to learn that if I did not pay party membership dues for several months, it would be equivalent to have withdrawn from the CCP. This was what I wanted to do because I did not want to deal with those hypocrites. Since that time I have not participated in any party activities.
Later, the persecution was widely publicized through various media and it made me very nervous. I was afraid that my husband might be arrested. I saw reports through email about practitioners being tortured, which created fear in my mind. I deleted the emails before finishing reading them. When I was in Hong Kong I passed by photo displays of tortured practitioners and I did not dare to take a closer look. For a long time I'd thought the CCP was good and the party was set up to support poor people. Although there were some bad members in the party, I did not have to work with them. Later, my husband showed me the self-immolation video fabricated by the CCP and the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. Then, I knew that the CCP has always been an evil party. They want to recruit quality individuals to make themselves look good on the outside. The objective is to fool the ordinary citizen. My own experience from working in that society indicates that the real members of the CCP are hypocrites. They grab most of the benefits and leave just a little for the common people. Furthermore, the CCP brainwashed people into believing that whatever they got was from the CCP.
Falun Dafa asks people to follow Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance but is being persecuted. Clearly, the CCP is against anyone who wants to be a good person. With the help of my husband I have read more Dafa books. My daughter has been following her father in studying the Fa and doing the exercises. My husband told her that she was here on a mission. She asked me quite often to do the exercises with her.
By 2010 I finally let go of my attachment and joined my husband and daughter in doing the exercises. I was in contact with Dafa for twelve years before I began my cultivation. My real reason for cultivation is to return to my real self and reach consummation. I am not concerned with illness or long life.
A few days before I formally began my cultivation, I was able to do the exercises. However, after I started to cultivate, one night I had difficulty doing the sitting exercise. My whole body was in pain and I wanted to quit. My daughter kept on telling me,
“When it is difficult to endure, try to endure it. When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try and see if it is possible.” (Zhuan Falun)
With her encouragement I finally calmed down and was able to focus on the exercise. Then, in time the pain disappeared and when I finished I truly felt comfortable.
Today, my entire family uses Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance as our guiding principle. We are able to help and encourage each other. Although we face many tests, we are moving forward and are improving our character. Cultivation has created a peaceful and happy family for us. We are doing what we can to assist other people to move towards the truth.
