(Minghui.org) I should have participated in the online Fahui long ago, but I was limited by my own attachments. I often thought, “It's OK if I don't write it down. Teacher knows what I am doing.” Previously, I had written two articles and then gave them to a practitioner to submit to Minghui. I did not bother to find out whether they had been published. I told myself, “I am not as good as other practitioners and there is nothing for me to write about. Even if I did write something, it wouldn't get accepted.” I now realize that I was not serious about cultivation and had attachments to comfort. I am stepping up by carefully writing an experience sharing article and I am aware that it is part of my cultivation, a process to eliminate my attachments and to improve with other practitioners.
1. Learning the Fa
I am a policeman. In October 1998, my younger brother introduced Zhuan Falun to me. I became curious and bought a copy of Falun Gong from a bookstore. The more I read it, the more I wanted to read it. From then on, I became a practitioner.
After that, I read Zhuan Falun a few times, and Teacher began to purify my body. It was a winter day and I had suffered with a bad flu for a week. My body ached terribly, even my eyes hurt. I kept reminding myself that it was Teacher purifying my body. That night I was on duty in the police station and slept there. The blanket was light, but I felt so hot and sweated profusely. I got up to dry myself a few times. The next day I felt very relaxed and comfortable. The officer who was on duty with me got up and said, “Ah, it is snowing outside. No wonder I felt so cold last night.”
In Zhuan Falun, Master says, “We teach that a person must practice only one cultivation way.” My brother and I gave the qigong books we used to read to others or burnt them. We also cleaned out things in our rooms that did not belong to Falun Dafa. That night, I had a dream. A person gave me a book. I took it and on the cover it said “Zhuan Falun III.” I felt something wrong and told the person to go away.
In the beginning of my practice, I was young and I experienced a lot of tests concerning lust. After I got out of college and began working, I parted with my girlfriend because she went out with my best friend. After I practiced Falun Dafa, I knew that I needed to let go of the sentiment.
“But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve.” (Zhuan Falun).
One time I saw them together and they were very affectionate. Suddenly all kinds of attachments came to my mind, my heartbeat got faster, and I could not calm down. I could not even read Dafa books. I tried to study the Fa by reading it out loud. I gradually was able to let go.
One time a thief was detained at the police station where I worked. His son and daughter came to see him and I helped them visit with their father. I was quite impressed with the girl. She kept phoning me for a few days, but I did not answer her calls and tried to ignore them. At night, while I was meditating, she called again. I used to pity her, but at the time I thought she was annoying. I rejected her and did not talk to her again.
To eliminate my attachments to lust and desire, my wife and I began sleeping in separate beds when I was 30 years old. However, it did not work. The format alone could not help me eliminate the attachment. I calmed down and looked within. I believed that it was my problem. From then on I tried to watch my every thought. As soon as I noticed that I had feelings in this regard, I quickly curbed them. Gradually these attachments got smaller. In the end, my wife said to me, “You always talked about abstinence. Now even I don't think about these things.”
2. Practice During Fa Rectification
1) To Practice or not
After the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) launched the persecution of Falun Dafa, the environment became very evil. My brother and I did not step up to clarify the truth at the time. We shared with each other and read the books. The CCP's lies and the evil situation once shook my determination in the practice. However, I refused to throw Dafa books away. I constantly wanted to read Zhuan Falun and did not want to do anything else. Each time I read the following in Zhuan Falun,
“At a certain point in time, you will be made unable to discern clearly whether something is true, whether your gong exists, whether you can practice cultivation and make it, or whether there are Buddhas and if they are real.”
“We still have to wait and see whether your people can understand your Great Law when confusion and chaos arrive.”
...it made me think over and over. In the end, I told myself, “I don't care if it was real or not, I chose to practice Falun Dafa. Even it I was wrong, so what.” My thought was not rational nor based on the Fa. However, I can't deny that constant Fa-study got me through this test.
The tests on whether I was determined to practice frequently surfaced. My wife forced me to give up practicing several times. She threatened to leave home, divorce me, and get an abortion. She did not succeed. Her behavior got me thinking, and allowed me to become more rational and learn how to think based on the Fa.
One time, I saw a truth clarifying DVD in the backyard of the police station. I got in touch with other practitioners. I stepped up and began to clarify the facts of the persecution. My supervisor knew that I was a practitioner. Before I stepped up, he pretended that he did not know. After I began to clarify the truth, he had a talk with me, “You have a college degree, and yet you practice this? Aren't you worried about bringing trouble to your family members?” I told him that the CCP's decision was wrong and the propaganda was all lies. He knew he could not talk me out of it. He did not get me into trouble because I made a good impression on him by following Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
2) Sending Righteous Thoughts
After the persecution started on July 20, 1999, in my dreams I often saw snakes everywhere. I did not enlighten to the fact that they came from the evil and I should therefore eliminate them with supernormal abilities. I worked really hard to get rid of them in my dreams. I hit them with a stick or stomped on them. There were too many and I often woke up terrified.
After Teacher talked about sending righteous thoughts, I began to do so. One time I focused on sending righteous thoughts toward the police station. That night, in my dreams the giant snake in the backyard of the police station disappeared and the small snakes inside the station were gone too. One time in my dream, I saw a snake be eliminated until there was only its skin left. As soon as I relaxed and was getting comfortable, it came back to life again and started to bite people. It took me a long time to eliminate it. Teacher said in “Fa Teaching Given at the Epoch Times Meeting,”
“And further yet, if your mind and thoughts aren’t even steady when you send righteous thoughts, you will be clearing out and eradicating bad things over here while at the same time producing them over there.”
When I had just begun to send righteous thoughts, most of the time I was in the police station and there was a lot of interference. As soon as I began to send righteous thoughts, mosquitoes would bite me, flying around and buzzing loudly. One time the buzzing was so loud, as if there were hundreds of mosquitoes surrounding me. I could not take it anymore and killed one. Suddenly all the buzzing went away. Sometimes when I could not get on Minghui.org, I sent righteous thoughts and it worked really well. Once I was in an Internet cafe and tried to send an email to Minghui. I did not have the software to break the firewall and the email kept getting returned. I left the cafe and went to a place where I could calmly send righteous thoughts. After I returned to the cafe, the email was sent successfully and I got a reply from an editor.
3) Eliminating Attachments to Fear
I was once illegally imprisoned for practicing Falun Dafa. The first day I was incarcerated, I was terrified. Several policemen watched me and several supervisors tried to talk me out of the practice. I was confused at the time. That night I told myself, “I will shoulder all the responsibility and I will not implicate other practitioners.” Now, as I think back, I acknowledged the evil persecution. Had I refused to cooperate, I would have been fine the next day.
After I got out of the detention center, I remained fearful. I worried that my phone was monitored and that I was being watched. I didn't contact any other practitioners and I tried to avoid agents of the Domestic Security Division. As soon as I heard something, I'd hide all my books and Dafa materials. This lasted a long time. I could not stand it anymore and was determined to eliminate my fear. I asked myself what I was afraid of. I feared that I would be imprisoned again, I worried that I would lose my comfortable living conditions. Master says in Zhuan Falun,
“What everyday people want is personal gain and how to live well and comfortably. Our practitioners are not this way, but exactly the opposite. We do not seek what everyday people want.”
Master also said in “Also in a Few Words,”
“Indestructible righteous faith in the cosmos's Truth forms benevolent Dafa disciples' rock-solid, Diamond-Like Bodies, it frightens all evil, and the light of Truth it emanates makes the unrighteous elements in all beings' thoughts disintegrate.”
Why would I want things from this ordinary world? How could these rotten demons and clowns incarcerate a Falun Dafa practitioner? With the help of fellow practitioners, I felt more and more relaxed and less scared. One time I ran into an officer from Domestic Security when I was at work, I looked him right in the eye and was ready to greet him. He avoided my eyes and went away.
4) Clarify the Facts with Wisdom
Since I was a police officer, I did not clarify the facts of the persecution to my coworkers like other practitioners. When I worked in the police station, I noticed that many people did not even know what Falun Dafa was and would believe anything the CCP said. Hence, I got some informational materials from other practitioners and gave them out. I also posted these materials on people's doors or slipped them under their doors. One time, I was in my police uniform when I distributed the fliers door to door. I sent righteous thoughts as I did it. There was a dog in one of the houses. It made all kinds of noise by scratching, but did not bark once. After all my coworkers came to work in the morning, I put a flier on the desk so everyone could see.
I also built a truth clarifying materials production site in the police station. I bought a second hand computer and printer, downloaded information online, edited and typeset it, printed it, and gave it to local practitioners. After I stopped working in the police station, I was in charge of purchasing equipment for the local material making sites. I realized that truth clarification was also cultivation. I must maintain my righteous thoughts, otherwise I would make mistakes and have bad results. Once a practitioner saw the material I made, told me that I did a good job and suggested that I submit it to Minghui. I did and Minghui published it. I got really excited. The next time I had even better information materials to submit, but Minghui rejected it. Similarly, when I printed the materials, if I had any attachment at that time, the paper always jammed or there was something wrong with the computer.
5) Form One Body with Practitioners and Improve as One
Teacher said in “Fa Teaching at the 2007 New York Fa Conference,” “Dafa disciples are one body.”
Local practitioners offered me a lot of help and I also protected the local practitioners through the job I held. One time a person called the police station to report a practitioner for distributing Falun Dafa materials. I happened to pick up the phone and took care of it. Later, I told other practitioners about it and they were very happy. I told them that I would not always be the one answering such phone calls in the police station, and that we must look within to find our attachments so there would not be such phone calls in the future.
When the authorities ordered the police station to collect pictures of local practitioners, I did not follow the order and nothing happened to me. One time a supervisor came to the station asking for our files on Falun Dafa and I gave him an empty box. This led him to believe that there were no practitioners in this jurisdiction. One day I went to the Public Security Bureau to report my work progress. I happened to overhear that they were planning to break into practitioners' homes and arrest them that night. I quickly called the local practitioners and had them spread the news. That night no one was taken into custody.
I often helped local practitioners fix their computer problems. One time I helped fix a practitioner's computer, but it broke down again a few days later. The practitioner told others that something was wrong with me because I was a policeman. I did not care at all, thinking that it would be fine if someone else could fix the computer. It did not have to be me. Later, I went to another practitioner's place to fix her computer. I spent a long time working on it, but I still could not fix it. I said that I might have some attachment. She then began to look within. A few days later I went to her place to fix the computer again, she told me, “It's working. I told the computer that you were my Fa weapon and specialized in saving people. After I eliminated the evil, it started working.” We both laughed.
6) Teacher is Always Beside Me
Teacher said in Zhuan Falun, “I have already told you that behind every practitioner there is my fashen, and not just one.” “I hope that both veteran and new practitioners will be able to practice cultivation in Dafa and succeed in it!” One time I read Zhuan Falun on my computer and saw that behind “both veteran and new practitioners” was, “and the sincere (my name).” I rubbed my eyes and read again, it was really my name in Zhuan Falun! I was so excited that Teacher knew about me. I told other practitioners, some were happy for me, but others told me that it was not right, “Absolutely wrong. Not one word can be changed in the book!” It was like a wake-up call for me. If it was wrong, why did Teacher let me see it? I thought back and remembered that “sincere” in the book was used mostly to describe those who only care about forms and rituals and did not truly cultivate. I realized Teacher was hinting to me. Each time I read Zhuan Falun, I washed my hands. Reading was a routine for me, I only cared about whether I read it or not like it was a mission. I did not put my heart in it when I read. I did not seize the time to cultivate solidly. Teacher saw that I was lost in that state for too long and tried to warn me. I quickly deleted the words that did not belong to the Fa.
I decided to step forward and get in touch with other practitioners after I was released from the detention center. I had a dream one night. I saw Teacher standing and lecturing to other practitioners. As I walked closer to them, Teacher nodded at me, like he was saying, “Here you are.” He signaled me to sit among the practitioners. After I left the police station and faced a new environment, Teacher encouraged me. He let me see udambara flowers on the windows, screens, and flower pots at home. The flowers were there for more than a month. Teacher said in “Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference,” “...because overall your personal cultivation has changed in every respect so that it's in the direction of saving sentient beings and validating Dafa.” I want to progress more diligently from now on, as a true practitioner during Fa-rectification. I want to save more people and not disappoint Teacher and sentient beings.
