(Clearwisdom.net)
Recently when I am passing a test, Master's words, "When great is the ordeal, keep steadfast The will to be diligent never bowed" ("Steadfast" in Hong Yin Volume II) greatly encourages me and lets me enlighten to principles and see my own attachments.
I'm 65 years old this year. I had an incurable disease and the hospital said I would only live for a few more days. Most fortunately, I joined the cultivation practice of Falun Dafa. Several days after I started practicing Falun Dafa, Master pulled me back from the edge of death. I thank Master and am determined to progress diligently and firmly cultivate myself.
As time has gone by, in recent years I started to pursue comfort. I went out shopping in the mornings, played a while with neighbors in the afternoon, and watched TV at night. I was not diligent about Fa study, practicing the exercises, or doing the three things. My understanding of the Fa was not deep, and I didn't realize it when I drifted away from the Fa. Master gave me hints several times. In my dreams, I could not find my home. Several times the evil rushed at me. When I watched TV, it malfunctioned, but I still could not enlighten. A few days ago, I started to run a high fever right after I took a shower. In the evening, I had many symptoms. Something seemed to be pushing on my heart, liver, and intestinal tract. I could not bend my legs. The tribulation pierced deeply into my heart. I constantly cried, "Falun Dafa is great! Master save me!" At this time Master's Fa appeared in my brain: "Whatever you experience during your cultivation--whether good or bad--is good, for it comes about only because you are cultivating." ("To the Chicago Fa Conference") and "Any time some kind of interference comes along in your practice, you have to look within for the cause and find what it is you still haven't let go of." ("The Sixth Talk" in Zhuan Falun)
One thing I enlightened to was that, in recent years, my pursuit of comfort has been very strong, and I have accumulated much karma. I have constantly apologized to Master and constantly firmed my own righteous thoughts. My body was purified by Master a long time ago. I knew it was not disease, it was tribulation. When it really hurt, I wanted to lie down to be a little bit more comfortable, but I immediately realized: lying down is for ordinary people, and I'll never be able to get up again. I meditated and sent forth righteous thoughts every hour. I started to be able to do the lotus position and then I was firmer and started to quietly recite Master's Fa: "When great is the ordeal, keep steadfast The will to be diligent never bowed" ("Steadfast" from Hong Yin Volume II) Bursts of pain tortured me until 9 o'clock at night, when another practitioner called and asked me to send forth righteous thoughts at a certain jail at 7:30 the next morning. I agreed at once. "Fine!" I said. Just a word--"fine"--and the pain and fever diminished a great deal after a short while.
The next day I talked about this with the other practitioner on the way to the jail. That practitioner said, "When you are tested, as long as you're firm, Master really takes care of us!" After I got back in the afternoon, the fever returned, and my internal organs started to hurt again. I felt as if my heart and lungs were being torn. I knew Master was continuing to eliminate karma for me. Without suffering greatly, how could I get rid of my pursuit of comfort and accumulated karma? I thought, "I can take this, I'm not going to care about the pain." I repeatedly recited Master's Lunyu. I meditated and sent forth righteous thoughts. I planned to clarify the truth after dawn. After breakfast, I loaded some truth-clarifying materials and went to my neighbor's home. I persuaded five people to quit the CCP right away. The tribulations came one after another in the next several days, and I treated all of them as good things. I insisted on studying the Fa and sending forth the righteous thoughts. I went back to my hometown to persuade people to quit the CCP and continued doing the three things. Gradually the tribulations went away. Master saved me once again.
I deeply felt that, because we are cultivating among ordinary people, we need to remember that we are Falun Dafa disciples all of the time. We need to get rid of the pursuit of comfort and the other ordinary people's thoughts and believe in Master and the Fa. And we need to do this well: "It's hard to endure, but you can endure it. It's hard to do, but you can do it." ("The Ninth Talk" in Zhuan Falun) This way you'll feel "the shade of willows, the blooms of flowers, a place to rest my head."
