(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Falun Gong while serving time in prison after the persecution began, so I have not had the opportunity to meet many Falun Gong practitioners or be in an environment where I could study the Fa and practice with fellow practitioners. It could be said that I was one of those who cultivated alone at home, relying on the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net) to learn about Dafa's situation in various places around the world. Later, I would work during the day and use all my time in the evening to study the Fa and practice, as well as prepare truth-clarification materials. In the midst of ordinary society there are temptations and enticements at every turn, and one's thoughts and understanding can be swept away by the current if one is not vigilant. So I dare not have a single lax thought, as the only way to maintain righteous thoughts is to study the Fa more and to use Dafa to rectify each and every thought.
I am the general manager of the accounting department at a construction company, and I'm responsible for several large construction projects. I am always friendly and courteous towards anyone who comes to us for business. The company's accounting operation is in large part my personal responsibility, and I have been wholeheartedly executing my duties without issue. I felt very content with my job, and I was not tempted when two other companies tried to recruit me. Yet strangely, no matter how well I performed, my boss was never satisfied and often presented me with harsh words. I thought to myself, "I am a cultivator, so I will not fight with you. I will not take it personally and I'll just do what I should do. Perhaps I owe you a debt from my previous life and it is time for me to repay you."
This continued until one day when I was calculating the cost of a project, and the boss insisted that I follow his methods. At first I was able to explain to him in a friendly, patient way the reasoning behind my methods. Yet he still insisted that I follow his method and we argued back and forth. I saw this as the culmination of his bad attitude towards me in the past, and I was beside myself with anger. I suddenly realized that I should not be like this and that this was simply a reflection of the venting of my demon nature, and that I am a practitioner and cannot have this temper. Instantly I went back to my office and calmed myself down. Afterwards, with a peaceful mind I recalled Master's teaching, that one should always look inward when there is a conflict. I then realized that I had the attachment to showing off my own capability, and to the thought that I always managed my company's accounting so well that often other companies wanted to recruit me. What an attachment to fame! I had always privately thought that the boss should treat me with a great deal of respect. After realizing all of this, I redid the calculation to reflect my boss's perspective and he was very happy to see it. Later, co-workers told me that the boss would often praise me in front of others, saying that I did a great job, and asked them to learn from me.
Since my cultivation began, the largest obstacle has been interference from the demon of sleep. In my case, other xinxing tests and eliminating karma, etc. can seemingly all be overcome or reduced by "clenching my teeth" and exerting tolerance. Only the interference of sleep has impacted me to such a great extent. Before I could even finish reading two pages of a Dafa book, I would unintentionally fall asleep. I deeply understand the importance, especially for new practitioners, of studying Dafa in order to maintain righteous thoughts. The old forces used this form of interference to obstruct my path, repeatedly interfering with me for two years. During these two years, I was tortured by this form of interference. After studying Master's "Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S. Capitol," I realized that I had been stuck at this level without breaking through, for far too long. My level had not improved and that is why the demon of sleep had the opportunity to interfere with me again and again. When I enlightened to this principle, I wanted to eliminate my attachments as quickly as possible and do a better job of saving sentient beings. Gradually, the interference lessened and eventually no longer affected me.
We have a duty to awaken the sentient beings who remain lost in the delusion of this world. I began to download materials from the Internet, prepare them for truth-clarification, and distribute them myself. Every day, I distributed as many as I produced.
While mailing materials, one must maintain a pure heart and righteous thoughts. One can also carry around materials on a daily basis and distribute them whenever the opportunity presents itself. Another method is spreading bills of our currency with truth-clarifying messages written on them. While distributing truth clarification materials, we need not think about how many materials remain to be distributed. We should just distribute them, seizing the time to prepare the next batch of materials. This understanding comes from the knowledge that I am only doing the surface work, while true salvation is performed by Master and we must simply diligently carry out our responsibilities.
I think that after the persecution began on July 20, 1999, there were many situations similar to those that I was presented with in China: an individual cultivating on their own being very easily polluted by society. The best way to prevent this is to study the Fa more and thus to maintain our righteous thoughts.
Heshi to great and compassionate Master Li !