(Clearwisdom.net) One morning several days ago, a fellow practitioner told me that the copy machine at a truth-clarification materials printing center malfunctioned and needed major repairs. She asked me to go along, and we would repair the machine together. We agreed to meet at my place after lunch.
I returned home at 11 a.m. and told my wife of this plan. She happened to be leaving for another practitioner's home and assured me that she would return soon. I reminded her to return promptly before noon, to send righteous thoughts. She locked the door from the outside. By 11:55 a.m., she had not returned. After sending righteous thoughts I began to listen to a recording of one of Master's lectures. At 1:00 p.m., I sent righteous thoughts again, but my wife was still not home. I continued to listen to Master's lecture but began to feel unsettled. I did not worry about my wife's safety. My concern was that the fellow practitioner had probably come to my front door, found it locked, and then gone to repair the copy machine herself. I felt bad not keeping my promise. I had taken all promises made in the past seriously and kept them. We must keep our promises because we are cultivating according to Truthfulness, Compassion and Tolerance. Besides, many practitioners were waiting to use the copy machine.
My wife returned at 1:35 p.m., having stopped at five places. Feeling very angry, I yelled at her at the top of my voice. My wife was calm, did not offer much explanation and merely said, "You thought you could fix it right away, didn't you?" I became angrier and was still upset after lunch. But soon I realized what a big deal I had made of this. My emotions were out of control. After lunch I went to see the fellow practitioner at her house and found her house was locked. Apparently she had gone alone to repair the machine.
I cooled down and went home to examine my problem. We had initially agreed to work together, but why could we not make it? I asked myself, "What's wrong with trying to keep my promise? What's wrong with trying to be truthful? What's wrong with helping practitioners fix the copier? Why did such a good plan fail?" I begged Master for spiritual guidance. I must have had certain hidden attachments and non-righteous things. I must find them and get rid of them.
The next day, I delivered printing materials at that practitioner's house. She did not blame me at all. She said she disassembled the machine and put it back together. The machine then functioned normally. I felt relief knowing that my absence did not cause any damage. This sudden conflict actually targeted my notions. Even the copy machine's break-down was an illusion, to expose my deeper hidden attachment. On my way home I kept thinking about my attachments: what are they? No sooner had I stepped into my home than I realized my problem. In the past, when I kept my word, I thought I was being truthful. But this "truthfulness" is not necessarily the "truthfulness" Dafa requires. To a large degree, I was doing those things to uphold my reputation. I would simply feel embarrassed and strange if I did not do what I had said. Otherwise, why would I blow up at my wife like that? I lacked compassion and tolerance when I threw a temper tantrum. I got angry also because of the CCP's cultural influence. After realizing that, I felt an immediate sense of relief. Master tells us that nothing is accidental. When a conflict arises, there must be a human attachment behind it. If I do not find it, then I fail the test. We are looking for a scapegoat if we blame our bad temper.
On a separate occasion, an elderly female practitioner responsible for coordination came to me one afternoon. She related that another practitioner overheard a policeman talking of their plan to arrest a Falun Gong coordinator, and they clearly said they would arrest me, but they had failed to get me. The message was passed along, and finally the coordinator heard this from someone. I did not believe the accuracy of the story. I had talked to my parents on the phone at 9:30 p.m. the previous night, and they had not heard anything abnormal. The police never came to where I lived. But no matter what, I should look for my own problems. Hearing this third-hand message was no accident for me.
The next morning I studied the Fa and sent righteous thoughts. Afterwards I took a hard look at my recent behavior and mentality and realized that I harbor a lot of human thoughts. I had strong negative opinions of my wife's parents and some other people. I had very negative thoughts of some people, such as: "I am not even afraid of the Communists, let alone you guys!" I furthermore had a competitive mentality and wanted to correct wrongs. I often behaved like a leader before other practitioners. The third-hand message spread because of these attachments.
Later, in the afternoon, the coordinator returned to my house and told me the fact that the police had only said that they had failed to arrest a coordinator. The other practitioner overheard this and thought I was the coordinator, so he told other practitioners to inform me. In fact, that message was purely imaginary. We did not hear of any other arrests or harassment in our area or in the surrounding area.
There is a reason for everything we practitioners encounter. Only after we look for our attachments can we purge interference and end the persecution. The only right path is to cultivate ourselves when offering salvation to sentient beings. Genuine practitioners should not be afraid of evil. We should look at any interference as a test and an opportunity to improve. We must not condone any kind of persecution.