(Clearwisdom.net) Previously, when I clarified the truth to people and helped people quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliates, I always recorded how many people I had helped. As soon as they agreed to quit the CCP, I published their statements online for them. After doing this for a few years, I found that I had helped about five hundred people while clarifying the truth to them. Gradually, I became self-satisfied with what I had achieved.
I am a full-time employee at a private company, and work 6 days a week, except Sunday. Still, every day I studied the Fa, practiced the Falun Dafa exercises, sent forth righteous thoughts, finished my duties at work and handled family issues. I knew I wasn't as good as some of my more diligent fellow practitioners, but I thought I was much better than those who hadn't been able to step forward.
I was illegally detained at a forced labor camp for 18 months. After I was released, the local police substation, the public security bureau, the local 610 Office, and our community committees all harassed me whenever there were some political events or when a sensitive date was approaching. They knew my home phone and my cellphone number and they called and harassed me once in a while. They also came to my workplace and my home and illegally scanned my computer and confiscated my personal belongings, which made me think that maybe I had done enough and should no longer be so active. The attachment of being satisfied with myself and the attachment of fear made me almost stop doing Dafa work.
After reading Teacher's recently-published lecture to the Australian practitioners, I was deeply moved, and found that it uncovered many of my problems. I had the attachment of fear and the pursuit of comfort. Essentially, it was all because of selfishness. I clarified the truth and helped people quit the CCP, just to make me feel that I had more leverage to be qualified as a practitioner, since I did what a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple should do. I was trying to first make sure that I didn't get persecuted or that my reputation and physical interests and sentimentality (qing) didn't get hurt. After that, I'd save sentient beings. Because of this, my compassion wasn't pure. Even though I was clarifying the truth and helping people quit the CCP, I didn't reach the realm of being selfless. I didn't put my whole heart into my efforts of saving sentient beings and realizing my prehistoric vows.
After I dug out my selfishness, while clarifying the truth, I now only remember the people that I haven't talked to, instead of how many people I have helped.
One of my college classmates was the son of a senior general. A few years ago, he had a hemorrhage and became paralyzed. With the help of a colleague, I obtained the best medicine available for him. When his wife came to pick up the medicine, I clarified the truth to her and I tried to ask them to quit the CCP. Surprisingly, his wife was very excited. She shook hands with me and said, "My husband has been wondering for a long time how we could quit, and now I know. Please hurry and help all of us in our family. The CCP is so bad and corrupted. It has committed so many sins."
The year before last, I talked to a doctor who got his degree in Europe and then came back to China. He said, "I don't believe anything. I just enjoy my life and when I die, I die. The CCP is not good, however it always remembers what you did and it always maintains its dictatorship. Therefore, no matter how you try to quit it, it will torture you to death as soon as it finds out. My father was killed like this." A few days ago, I read an article on the Pure Insight website. I felt it could help that doctor to get rid of his fear, so I sent the article to him. He read it. He then truly believed in Truth, Compassion, Tolerance. He quit the Youth League, one of the affiliates of the CCP. He now calls me one of his best friends.
I knew a vice president of an institute. We were in the same research area. I sent him some truth-clarification materials. After he read them he said, "Aren't these the things that Falun Gong talks about? It's useless." This year, a severe snowstorm hit their area. I used it as an example when clarifying the truth to him and asked him to quit the CCP. He said, "It appears what you said is all true. OK. OK. I believe it. I'll quit the CCP. Thank you!"
One of my co-workers was in love with another co-worker. Later, she became sick and went home. One day, she called me and said her boyfriend (the co-worker) broke up with her because of her illness. She was very upset and said she planned to fly back the next day and kill him. I knew this girl. She had the guts to do it, but she didn't show up. When I called her back, she said, "No, I'm not going to do that. I thought about it again. You helped me quit the CCP. You told me that the people who believed in Dafa would have bright futures. Therefore, I realized that it's not worth dying for a person who didn't truly love me."
I haven't visited my hometown in over ten years, and many of my friends, relatives, neighbors, co-workers, and classmates from school haven't learned the truth. I'm planning to pay a visit soon. When I think about all those people who haven't been saved, I feel that time is limited and I should make the best use of the time available to me.