(Clearwisdom.net) Recently I was arrested by the police. Looking back on this tribulation has helped me to understand cultivation in a deeper way. Through this process, I found many places where I fell short in my cultivation, but my actions also proved my steadfast belief in Teacher and Dafa.
1. The Lessons I Learned from My Way of Clarifying the Truth with Human Notions
For a long period of time, I have been taking advantage of my work to clarify the facts about the persecution of Falun Gong. One day though, I didn't finish my task. I didn't finish distributing all of the materials I brought with me. I distributed some materials on the street and at work, but I was in a hurry to finish my task and ignored sending forth righteous thoughts. Essentially, I forgot how serious cultivation is. Although I don't think that my clarifying the truth was wrong, we have to do it rationally and with wisdom. Most importantly, we need to do it with righteous thoughts because it is a very serious matter.
I clearly remember that when I first started practicing Falun Gong, once when I was half asleep and half awake, Teacher told me, "Cultivation is not a game, you should take it very seriously." At that time, I didn't understand the deep meaning of Teacher's words, but I tried my best to study the Fa well, do the exercises well, and introduce the Fa to the public with my fellow practitioners. Our Fa-study group had a tradition of reciting Zhuan Falun and Teacher's lectures, so I established a habit of reciting the Fa. After the persecution of Falun Gong started on July 20, 1999, the Fa-study group at my home didn't stop. We continued studying the Fa and clarifying the facts of the persecution until I moved. Afterwards, I heard that some of my fellow practitioners in my previous Fa-study group had been arrested and that some had been sentenced to prison. My heart was very heavy and I thought, "I would have been arrested if I had been at home." I realized that this was a human thought and a thought based on the Communist Party culture.
I couldn't strictly follow the standard of the Fa and didn't totally eliminate the attachment to profit. I also often got angry with my husband and couldn't guard my xinxing. At work, I always tried to prove myself. Even when I didn't speak out when encountering conflicts, I still felt uncomfortable. I also had the thought of proving myself when validating the Fa. I was attached to doing more things and doing things well. Carrying all those attachments gave the old forces an excuse to take advantage of me.
After I was arrested, I realized how dangerous it is to cultivate with human attachments and I genuinely understood the deeper meaning Teacher pointed out to me in that dream.
2. Righteous Thoughts Arise When Human Attachments Are Eliminated
Other practitioners did not know that I had been arrested, so it was impossible to count on fellow practitioners to send forth righteous thoughts for me at a close distance. I had to break through with my own righteous thoughts. Whether I could break through would be evidence of how well I had cultivated over the past ten years.
At the time, I felt that all my human attachments had been eliminated and my heart was calm. I reinforced myself with internal divine power and accepted that everything is under Teacher's control. It is Teacher who determines whether I should stay in detention or not. Falun Gong practitioners all over the world are reinforcing mainland practitioners in every moment with their righteous thoughts. Teacher said: "The firmament is infinitely distant, with a switch in thought, it is right before the eyes" ("Hong Yin"). I was confident and determined to break through the persecution and get out of the detention center so that I could continue to do what I should do as a Falun Gong practitioner. I sent forth righteous thoughts every day to eliminate all the arrangements by the old forces and to clear out all the rotten demons and dark minions in the National Security Brigade of the police department and the detention center. I thought, "I am here, so my mission is to eliminate the evil and save sentient beings."
At that moment I had a very good feeling. I felt that an immortal was beside me. I felt that I was like an immortal sitting there without any human attachments. Every morning when I woke up, I felt that my righteous thoughts woke up too. I would send forth righteous thoughts for four to six hours continuously. At the beginning, the guards tried to interrupt me, but it didn't take very long for them to quit doing so. I only stopped sending forth righteous thoughts after 12 p.m. when practitioners all over the world finished sending forth righteous thoughts at noon. This is when the guards started having lunch and taking naps. This time I used for doing the exercises. Then I recited Teacher's lectures and clarified the facts of the persecution of Falun Gong. After I finished sending forth righteous thoughts at 6 o'clock in the evening, I would meditate for one hour. Although the other detainees recited the detention regulations in the morning and the evening and watched TV, the noise they made didn't affect me at all. When I really focus on what I'm doing, nothing can interrupt me.
On the tenth day in detention, after I sent forth righteous thoughts, I recalled that the authorities had confiscated my Dafa books and I felt very sad. For the two times that I was arrested, I lost many Dafa books and materials. I felt guilty because I hadn't done well. After thinking of that, I sent out another thought, "I hope that Teacher will reinforce me and bring back all the Dafa books that the police confiscated from me." That night I had a dream about "Zhuan Falun." The whole book was transparent and a big Fa wheel was on the book. I felt that Teacher was beside me at every moment. This gave me more confidence.
The persecution is everywhere. The authorities arrest and beat Falun Gong practitioners, search their homes, confiscate their property, and sentence them to forced labor camps and prisons. This is the visible part of the persecution. But the hidden part of the persecution is the most evil. Without strong righteous thoughts, it is easy for me to mistaken human attachments as my own thoughts. One day when I was sending forth righteous thoughts, I suddenly had a thought about my family and wondered how they were doing. I then hoped that my family would make some special arrangement to get me out. I noticed that this thought was wrong. I stopped this way of thinking and continued to send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil. If we have such a thought, not truly believing in Teacher and Dafa, the result might be just the opposite.
Teacher said, "Remove Your Human Thoughts and Evil Will Naturally Die Out" ("Don't Be Sad", Hong Yin II) All the sentient beings are waiting for us to save them. Because of Teacher, Dafa, and Falun Dafa practitioners, human beings now have the hope of being saved. If some human being helps us, that is just like what Teacher said, "all came for this Fa, were born for the Fa, and were formed for the Fa." ("Touring North America to Teach the Fa") Ordinary people helping Falun Dafa practitioners is the best thing they can do for themselves.
Once when I was detained for about half a month, a guard asked me if I had any information about when I would be released. I had a strong thought, "Will they send me to the brainwashing center to continue persecuting me?" I immediately realized that this thought was not from myself, but from the old forces and the influence of the evil Chinese Communist Party specter. They wanted to intensify the persecution against me and destroy my righteous thoughts. I sent forth righteous thoughts immediately to eliminate all the evil factors.
3. Giving up the Attachment to Self and Saving Sentient Beings
Wherever I go, even in prison, I never forget my mission as a Falun Gong practitioner. Once, I talked with a guard about Falun Gong. He told me that he had never read Zhuan Falun. His opinions were based on the Communist Party culture, but I didn't argue with him. First, I finished listening to his points. Then I told him that nobody is taking advantage of us and that we Falun Gong practitioners are free to practice and free to quit. I told him that if I quit now, nobody would force me to practice. I said that I practice Falun Gong only because I feel that Falun Gong is good, and it teaches me to be a better person. Then I asked him, "Can you say that Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is wrong?" I told him: "Falun Gong was introduced to the public in 1992. Before the persecution, there were about 100 million people practicing Falun Gong. If Falun Gong were bad, how could the CCP allow people to practice it for so long? Suddenly the CCP decided to stop us from practicing Falun Gong. So they arrest us and search our homes. Could anybody believe in such a government?"
Another time when I was sending forth righteous thoughts, the team director yelled at me, "Get out. If you continue practicing, I will hang you up." He then added: "You Falun Gong people tried to force others to accept your ideas. Look at those fliers on the electric poles." I didn't mind his bad attitude, but told him that Falun Gong has spread through many countries and regions and is being praised all over the world. He asked me to stop talking to him. Later, when I met him again, I sent forth righteous thoughts before talking to clear away the evil factors controlling him in other dimensions and found that his attitude was not so bad any more.
In the detention cell with me was a person who had read the "Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party," and she told me that what is written in the book are facts. Another person, a bus driver, said, "I didn't spend time in the detention center in vain. Now I know the truth about the persecution. When I'm released, I will tell others about the facts of the persecution and teach my friends the songs I learned from you." She even recited Teacher's poems a few times every morning when she got up. With this thought, she has chosen a bright future for herself.
There was a young man (he has withdrawn from the CCP) who heard us singing from the cell where he was detained. He asked us what we were singing and asked us to teach him the song. He read some truth clarification materials about Falun Gong and told me, "The CCP is the real cult." He liked to hear anything from me about Falun Gong and told me that he will learn Falun Gong once he is released.
4. The Last Battle
They didn't get anything from me after interrogating me a few times. When they asked me whether I would continue practicing Falun Gong, I gave them a firm answer, "I will." When they asked me where I got the truth clarification materials, I told them, "I picked them up." When they told me I had broken No. 300 of the Criminal Law, I replied, "The constitution is above all laws."
Because they could not get the source of the material from me, they wouldn't give up. They tried to extend my detention period, but I refused to sign any documents. A policeman asked me again and again for my contacts. I told him, "I don't contact anybody. I don't know any other Falun Gong practitioners." Then he told me, "Based on the materials we got from your home, we can sentence you to prison for at least ten years." I told him, "Even if you shoot me here today, I will still have the same answer for you." I asked them to release me immediately. The policemen later left the detention center without getting anything from me.
After being detained for seventeen days, I was released from the detention center at the end of April 2007. Upon returning home, I continued my journey of assisting Teacher in rectifying the Fa and saving sentient beings.
