(Clearwisdom.net) I am a 58-year-old retiree from Huaguang Group Co., Ltd, in Shandong Province. I started practicing Falun Gong in 1996. Afterward, my physical health improved miraculously. I witnessed the supernormal benefits of Dafa and became determined to cultivate Falun Dafa. In the past 10 years, I experienced various difficulties and hardships, including passing tests of life and death. I continue to enlighten to Dafa cultivation. The following are some of my experiences. Please point out any shortcomings.
1. Dafa Gave Me New Hope for Life
When I was eight years old, I broke my leg in an accident and was unable to move it for a year. After being bedridden for so long, my leg showed symptoms of rheumatic arthritis. Later, because of the arthritis, I developed a heart problem. My pulse rate was 130 on average (normal pulses range from 60 to 100 beats per minute). At age 21, I developed hyperthyroidism and autonomic nerve disorder. I had a low grade fever year-round. I did not sleep well at night. I was fragile and felt cold and dizzy all the time. My face was a greenish color and my hands felt numb. At around the age of 40, I was diagnosed with gastritis, hypertension, and other gynecologic illnesses. I took a lot of medicine daily and was as thin as a stick. Eventually, I could no longer work. Tormented by the illnesses, I thought of suicide several times, but I could not go through with it because of my two young children. I endured the suffering half alive.
One day in 1996, my daughter brought me a copy of the book Zhuan Falun and said, "This is a really good book. You should read it, but finish it quickly because other people still want to read it." One night before I went to sleep, I opened the book and started to read it, beginning with Lunyu. Once I started reading, I couldn't put it down. At first, I read lying down, then I sat up. As I read, I thought to myself: "This book answers questions I could not get from other qigong practices. These are all the things I was confused about and troubled by throughout my life." I was a little excited reading the book. As I read, I had strange feelings in my body. Waves of cold came out of my body. Then I felt something moving in my abdomen, making noises. Then my stomach and intestines felt very comfortable. I hadn't had such a feeling for years. A few days later, I went out. When I went to visit my mother-in-law in the hospital, she and other family members were all stunned. "How did you get here?" they asked. I said, "I am fine now!" On Chinese New Year 1996, I couldn't wait to find a practice site. I had only one thought, "I am going to practice Falun Gong!"
Ever since then, I eagerly studied the Fa and practiced the exercises. Six months later, all of my illnesses disappeared and I had become a new person. I felt light all over. Because I understood about reincarnation, karmic retribution, and cultivating "Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance," I was able to get through several incidences of body purification with a steady belief in Teacher's Fa. One time in particular, it happened suddenly after six months of practicing. Some fellow practitioners were really worried about me. I had a high fever, vomiting, and diarrhea for five days and nights. No matter how difficult, I continued to do the exercises. Finally, I was rolling around in bed because of stomach pain. I called Teacher in my heart, and thought of how the Fa cleanses one's body. My clothes were soaked with sweat. It felt like I was being reborn. On the sixth day, my physical condition was back to normal again, but I felt spiritually that my whole world had changed beyond recognition.
2. Going to Beijing to Appeal for Justice
In April 1999, a lot of suspicious people visited our practice site to "investigate" and harass us. I thought the government didn't know much about Falun Gong, so I should help them understand. In June 1999, over 20 practitioners, including myself, set off for Beijing on bicycles. We rode bicycles for part of the journey and took taxis for the remainder. Two days later, when we arrived in a Beijing suburb, some policemen stopped us and took us to a suburban police station. Around lunchtime, several of us were able to walk off and return home.
On July 20, 1999, the persecution of Falun Gong was officially launched. I felt I must speak the truth and clear away the government's misunderstanding of Falun Gong and Teacher. The next day I went to Beijing with some fellow practitioners. When we got to Shouguang City, Shandong Province, we were stopped by some local policemen. They unlawfully detained us in a hotel for a day.
On December 20, 1999, my daughter (also a practitioner) and I went to the State Bureau for Letters and Calls to appeal for Falun Gong. Many policemen stood around the entrance of the bureau. A policeman from Weifang City, Shandong Provinc,e approached and asked me where I came from. He beat me up on the street in front of many people just because I didn't answer him. Later I was taken back and detained at my workplace for seven days. During the whole process, we treated everyone we met with kindness and told them the truth of Falun Gong through our own experiences. The effect was rather good.
On July 6, 2000, I went to the State Bureau for Letters and Calls to appeal for Falun Gong for the fourth time, but because the bureau didn't want to listen to our appeal at all, I decided to go to Tiananmen Square to demonstrate the Falun Gong exercises. After I got to the Kinship Bridge on Tiananmen Square, I sat down to do the mediation. Immediately, some policemen came over and illegally arrested me. They took me to the Tiananmen Square police station. There were five practitioners arrested at the same time. We told a policeman what Falun Gong was, how we had benefited from the practice, and why the persecution was wrong. He was deeply touched. He not only released us, but also took us to the railway station. We each returned to our own hometown.
3. Going to Beijing to Appeal for the Fifth Time
The torture and tribulations I suffered after going to Beijing to appeal for the fifth time made me realize the evilness and seriousness of the persecution.
On October 2, 2000, my sister, my two daughters, and I got on a bus heading for Beijing. When the bus arrived at Boxing County, Shandong Province, we were arrested and detained at a police station. It was the first time I witnessed police violence toward Falun Gong practitioners. They took all of our money. Local practitioners were forced to kneel down on bricks (with the narrow sides up) for a whole night. Some practitioners were forced to grab handles on the wall and keep their feet off the ground. The police used sticks to beat anyone who wanted to move or adjust her position. Practitioners from Weifang City were forced to hold their arms and hands over their heads for a whole night.
The next day I was taken back to Kuiwen District Detention Center in Weifang City and detained for fifteen days. Practitioners detained there started a hunger strike. Director of the center Wang and other policemen force-fed us. Wang beat us ferociously because we refused to cooperate. They pulled a handful of hair from practitioner Ms. Zhang and kicked her so hard that she couldn't move her back. We all stood up to stop them. Wang took off his shoes and used them to pound on our heads feverishly. Two female practitioners had their stomachs and ribs hurt. The beating left me with a swelling on my head and a bloody mouth. I had a heart attack that night. After spending fifteen days in the detention center, Liu Bo and Wang Fengjun, executives from my workplace, Weifang Switchgear Plant, took me to a brainwashing session hosted by the plant's parent company, Huaguang Group Co. Because I refused to give up my belief in Falun Dafa, I was taken to the brainwashing center of Weifang City, where I was locked in a cell. I wasn't allowed to leave the cell even for a meal or to use the bathroom. I was detained there for almost two months. My husband bailed me out right before the Chinese New Year.
After I got back home, my employer didn't stop harassing me for over a month. They either called or visited me in person every day. On March 2, 2001, around 3 p.m., Zhao Youpeng, Shen Yiming and another five or six people from Huaguang Group Co. dragged me to a car and took me to a brainwashing session held at Huaguang Hotel. Three days later, I started a hunger strike to protest. Several days later, I took a chance and walked away from the hotel. I had to leave home to avoid further persecution.
4. A Moment of Weakness
We need to be very clear on how to keep righteous thoughts and righteous actions during the Fa rectification period, how to clarify the truth with wisdom, and how to achieve our goal of saving sentient beings. I suffered many tribulations and evil persecution later on in my cultivation path. Some of it was caused by my indulgence in attachments.
On May 13, 2001, I took a lot stickers with the words "Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance" printed on them and started to post them on Fushou Street. I didn't care whether people were looking at me. When I reached the auditorium of the Twenty-sixth Army, two soldiers asked me what I was doing. I told them it was about "Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance." They took me inside the building and took the stickers away from me. They called their supervising officer to ask what to do with me. After the phone call, one of them told me to leave. I refused to leave without the stickers. He called the police. The police detained me in the Siping Road Police Station for a day and then detained me in the Kuiwen Detention Center for fifteen days. Then, my workplace took me to a brainwashing session held by the Cangle Forced Labor Camp to be brainwashed. While I was detained there, they denied me sleep for six days. Because I refused to "transform" after 18 days in the Cangle Forced Labor Camp, I was taken to the Kuiwen District Brainwashing Center. Forty days later, my employer took me to the Wangcun Forced Labor Camp in Zibo City for a three-year term. At the labor camp, I was locked in a disciplinary unit and deprived of sleep. In order to "transform" me, the director of the labor camp, policemen, and accomplices took turns using all kinds of coercive and persuasive means on me. After a long period of non-stop mental torture and torment, I wrote a guarantee statement against my will. Later, I developed symptoms of high blood pressure and heart disease. In September 2002, I was released on medical parole.
5. Tied to a Cross for Seven Days
On April 14, 2003, while I was distributing some truth clarification materials, someone reported me to the police. I was taken to the Kaifa District Police Department and tied to a chair. A policeman asked me if I still practiced Falun Gong. I told him that there was no way I would give it up since Falun Gong had saved my life. A heavy-set policeman punched and kicked me until sweat soaked his shirt. I told them, "You can treat a nearly 60-year-old lady like this? You also have parents and sisters. I didn't do anything wrong. Police violence is not acceptable." A policeman turned angrier and kicked my legs very hard with his leather shoes, leaving my legs black and blue all over. They tortured me for more than two hours, but their beatings and torture couldn't break me down. Later, I went into the office of a high-ranking official. I showed him my bruises and told him what had happened. He tried to deny the evidence of torture, "Who saw the beating? What you have is a skin disease." I immediately saw through his lies.
In order to find out my name and place of employment, the police asked some collaborators, the Weicheng District police, and the Kuiwen District police to identify me. As no one recognized me, they gave me a fake name, Ma Xiuli, and detained me in the Hanting District Detention Center. I had been on a hunger strike for six days. After force feeding, they used a special torture on me: I was bound to a cross-shaped torture device that consisted of two vertical boards and a horizontal board. Each board was about five feet long and four inches wide. Near the end of the boards were four iron rings. My wrists and ankles were bound to the iron rings by shackles and I was left lying on the cross. The shackles bit into my flesh with every slight movement. After a while, my muscles were unbearably sore and numb.
I endured the pain minute by minute, hour by hour. Two days passed. On the third day, a police doctor named Tang came to me and said, "Why don't you give up? No one is able to endure this. If you say you give up, they will release you and you can have some food immediately." I had the most difficult time continuing to endure the pain. One thought emerged in my mind: "Should I continue or give up?" Immediately, I saw a hook hanging from the heating pipe swaying back and forth. I realized right away that my heart shouldn't move and I could not give in to the evil demands. With Teacher and the Fa, what is there to fear? Teacher's poem "Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions" came to my mind:
"A Great Enlightened One fears no hardship
Having forged an adamantine will
Free of attachment to living or dying
He walks his path of Fa-rectification, confident and poised." (Hong Yin II)
I immediately calmed down and felt unshakable and solid, like diamond.
One day I needed to go to the bathroom. The inmate responsible for watching me didn't allow me and told me to urinate in my pants. I couldn't do that, so I asked Teacher to help me. Right away, a policeman passed by and I asked him. He told the inmate to release me immediately and let me go to the bathroom.
The police left the force-feeding tube in my throat day after day without removing it, so that it was easier for them to feed me every day. I felt nauseated constantly. On the eighth day, the police gave in and released me from the cross. I was in pain and numb, as if my bones were about to fall apart. My limbs were swollen. It was beyond words. On top of that, I hadn't eaten or drunk anything for 15 days.
Because I refused to "transform," the police took me to the Weifang City Brainwashing Center. At the center, I repeatedly recited Teacher's words, "No matter what the situation, do not cooperate with the evil's demands, orders, or what it instigates." ("Dafa Disciples' Righteous Thoughts are Powerful" from Essentials for Further Advancement II). I memorized the Fa and practiced the exercises every day. At the beginning, the guards tried to stop me. Four or five of them grabbed my arms and legs so that I couldn't move. But as soon as they let go of me, I would do the exercises.
One day when I was about to practice the second exercise in the yard, section chief Guo from the Municipal Economic and Trade Commission came to me and said: "Let me tell you that I am not like other people. You can't practice Falun Gong in front of me." I ignored him and started to practice. He dragged me inside and threw me at a desk. I almost passed out. For about 20 minutes, I lay on the floor and couldn't get up. When I slowly recovered, I went back to the yard and did the second exercise. The guards looked at each other, and no one moved. After that they never tried to stop me. Over 20 days later, since the brainwashing center couldn't prevent me from practicing, they took me to Wangcun Forced Labor Camp. A physical examination showed that I had high blood pressure and heart disease, so the labor camp refused to accept me. Several days later, Fu Jinbin, director of the brainwashing center, bribed the labor camp with some gifts (which looked like sesame oil and other expensive food). The labor camp then accepted me. Thus, I entered Wangcun Forced Labor Camp for the second time.
6. Walking Out of the Labor Camp with Righteous Thoughts
In Wangcun Forced Labor Camp, I was locked in the disciplinary units, which were separated from other parts of the labor camp. We were not allowed to sleep in the disciplinary units. Collaborators tried to "transform" us relentlessly with their twisted theories. The guards viciously attacked Dafa and Teacher. I kept telling them the truth. They swore at me and beat me. Camp official Qu (grand team chief, first name unknown), Zhang Cuiyun (grand team deputy chief), Zhang (team chief, first name unknown), and Yu (first name unknown) sealed my mouth with tape, grabbed my hair, and dragged me to the floor. Because I was reciting the Fa aloud, the tape did not hold. They then stuffed cleaning rags and a towel into my mouth and tied me to the bed stand. In the labor camp, I witnessed practitioner Ms. Liu Guilan tied between two beds with her arms stretched out for a whole day. I saw other practitioners' wounds from beatings and electric shocks. I also saw a practitioner who suffered a mental collapse due to the torture, which was so sad. At night, I often heard collaborators yelling and shouting without restraint. These horrific and inhumane experiences are the truth behind the "education and transformation through salutary influence" claimed by the 610 Office and the labor camp.
When I entered the labor camp, I was determined not to be "transformed," as the mission of Fa-rectification period disciples is to validate Dafa and save sentient beings. We are doing the best deeds on the earth. So no matter how the guards mistreated and tortured me, I never cooperated with them. During the difficult days, I often recited Lunyu and Hong Yin to encourage myself. The following words often came to my mind:
"If you're truly able to let go of the thought of death, and have no attachments at all, would the question of falling short still exist? Would the question of reforming you still exist? And would the question of having you do such and such still exist? If all the hundreds of or all the thousand people held in a labor camp can do that, see if the labor camp still dares to keep you! Although this is what we say, it seems easy to say while not in that environment. That's why Master doesn't want to talk about the things over there while teaching the Fa here. It is hard over there. But no matter how hard it is, have you thought about what your future will be? Have you thought of the fact that your future Attainment Status needs to be founded upon magnificent mighty virtue? Have you thought about the fact that what you'll get is the True Fruition of a God or Buddha who's validated the Fa? Have you truly and completely let go of humanness because of this? Are you truly unshakable and solid, like diamond, and without attachment and omission?! When things are truly like that, then you should take another look and see what the environment is like." ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference")
Whenever I thought about these words, boundless strength emerged from the bottom of my heart. Then when I looked at those guards, inmates and collaborators, I only felt sorry for them.
After two months in the labor camp, one day I decided to practice the exercises every day just as I used to. One morning, I thought to myself: "I am going to do the exercises. No one can interfere." Then I sat on my bed and started to mediate. A collaborator immediately came and pulled my legs. I pulled them back to the full-lotus position. She went to report me. Not long after, several people came in. They grabbed my arms. As soon as they released me, I started to do the exercises. After a while, my hands, my face and lips turned blue. They were afraid and went to report it to higher officials. After a while, the team chief and a doctor came. The doctor said that I was lacking oxygen and I should stop doing the exercises immediately. I refused. Later, they tried to take me to the disciplinary unit again. I grabbed the bedstead firmly so that they couldn't move me. When they gave up, I started to meditate. Thus, I struggled to meditate every day and they tried to stop me every day. As soon as they released their grip on me, I started to do the exercise. One day, the team chief came and saw it. The team chief was shocked that this had been going on for over a month. He didn't know what to say after a while, and then said, "It is good. It is good to be persistent." He then left as if nothing had happened. The rest of them felt very defeated. I kept memorizing the Fa and doing the exercises every day. On September 4, the team chief told me to go home.
7. Clarifying the Truth Every Day
Teacher said:
"... other than Dafa disciples tempering themselves and becoming more mature, more clearheaded, and more composed during the persecution--you've become more and more rational, your righteous thoughts have become stronger and stronger, and the moment when you will return to your positions is getting closer--other than that, what else is there? Isn't that all there is to it? Haven't those Dafa disciples who were killed by persecution reached Consummation? It's true that during the persecution a portion [of our students] stopped cultivating--if they aren't good enough they will be sifted out, and what remains will be gold. ...
no matter how bad the persecution is, if the Dafa disciples' minds are very upright, they have very strong righteous thoughts, and understand everything clearheadedly and calmly, a lot of losses will be averted." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference")
After I came back home from Wangcun Forced Labor Camp, I never stopped truth clarification and saving sentient beings. In December, I was distributing Falun Gong information materials to students from a nearby middle school when a police car stopped beside me. I was first taken to the Kaifa District Police Station, and then to the Weifang City Brainwashing Center. I went on a hunger strike, continued to do the exercises publicly, and didn't cooperate with them at all. Fu Jinbin and other brainwashing center officials couldn't handle me, so they let me go home after six days.
In March of this year, I went home after distributing Falun Gong information materials with my grandson. I saw a police car parked at the community entrance, and some policemen were talking to the security staff. My daughter was on duty that day at the security office. She told me that the police had come to arrest a Falun Gong practitioner, and she didn't give them the correct information.
Another time when I was hanging a banner on a tree, someone ran to me and asked me what I was doing. I told him, "Falun Dafa is good!" He ordered me to take it down. I started to tell him the truth of Falun Gong and why I did this. Seeing my serious and firm attitude, he left.
One day, I gave a stranger some truth clarification material and started to talk to him about Falun Gong. He suddenly asked me if I knew what his profession was. I told him, "No matter what your profession is, you should know how Falun Gong is persecuted. It is wrong for our government to persecute Falun Gong. The Tiananmen Square self-immolation was staged. Now Falun Gong has spread to over 80 countries in the world." At the end, he told me to leave quickly as he was a policeman. He then turned onto another road. I was happy that he chose not to persecute good people.
August 9, 2007