(Clearwisdom.net) I have been practicing Falun Dafa cultivation for 11 years, but I have never before written an experience-sharing article. I don't know where to start. When I read other practitioners' articles, sometimes I was moved to tears and sometimes inspired by their high xinxing, so today I feel I should share my cultivation experiences with you too.
Obtaining the Fa through Selling Books
I work in a bookstore. I remember one day in April 1995, an assistant from a local Falun Gong practice site came to my counter and asked if he could order two books, Zhuan Falun and China Falun Gong. He said that the books had a very large sales volume. I showed him to the door of our manager's office. Our manager ordered the two books by making a phone call. A week later, a thousand copies of Zhuan Falun and several thousand copies of China Falun Gong arrived. All copies of Zhuan Falun were sold out in a few days and all copies of China Falun Gong were sold out within a month. We reordered immediately, but were unable to get any additional books.
While selling these books, I was able to talk with many assistants and practitioners of Falun Gong. I found them quite unique. No matter how high or how low their social status was, they were all very amiable, considerate of others and never minded personal losses or gains. Our manager sent us in vans to sell the books at every major park in the mornings. When we got there early we would wait for the practitioners to finish practicing the exercises before we began to sell the books. The manager would send several staff members for each site to prevent "book loss." But soon we found that this worry was for naught, because each time we were done selling the books, we found no discrepancy between the number of books sold and the amount of money taken in. The practitioners would pick up a copy and leave right away without worrying about the workmanship quality of the books. Some books had quality problems. We offered to return them to the publisher, but the practitioners insisted on taking them. They said it was a karmic relationship to have come across a copy like that, and they should fix it by adding the missing words themselves. What had made their realms so high? I pondered this, deeply influenced by their good behavior.
From then on I made up my mind: I will practice the exercises sooner or later. I read the books from time to time in my spare time and even did some leg stretching (as I couldn't sit with my legs crossed in the Lotus position). An assistant said to me, "You have come into contact with the Fa. How regrettable it would be for you not to practice." I didn't quite understand her words then, but before long I started to genuinely practice.
Driving Out Thought Karma and Sickness Karma Interference
One day in August 2002, while studying the Fa, I suddenly felt something cutting me off from the Fa. No matter how hard I studied the Fa, I could not keep it in my mind. No matter how diligently I read it, I felt that something wasn't right. I felt that the Fa was far away from me. Besides, I had difficulty sitting and concentrating and was affected by some unknown fear. I did not know what had happened, so I studied the Fa more intensely. But even when I sent forth righteous thoughts I could not concentrate. I told a practitioner who often came to see me about my problem, to which she commented, "You are turning into a demon damaging the Fa. It's animal possession. The symptom is exactly like that of someone who has already died." I failed to regard the Fa as Teacher but believed her. I was heavily burdened by my thoughts and felt confused, not knowing what to do. I was up all night during that time and believed more and more it was animal possession. But I could not understand it. "I have cultivated for so many years; how can I possibly become a demon, damaging Dafa?"
I calmed down and recalled Master's words, "It is already difficult, yet still you add this self-imposed tribulation. How can you overcome it?" ("Lecture Six" from Zhuan Falun) Right! Master had made it quite clear in His lectures to explain animal possession. How dare it come to me? It does not exist at all! As to whether I am a demon damaging Dafa, regardless of what agreement I had signed with the old forces some time in history, I now want to drive out all the interference and negate the old forces' arrangements with a sober mind and clear conscience. I firmly believed one thing, that only studying the Fa can turn things around. Master said,
"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Drive Out Interference" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I persisted in studying the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts intensively every day. I sent forth righteous thoughts between 12 and 18 times per day. In addition, I studied the Fa as often as possible and recited Lunyu, Hong Yin, "Expounding on the Fa" (from Essentials for Further Advancement), and "Your Main Consciousness Should Predominate." ("Lecture 6" from Zhuan Falun). I don't remember how long this went on, but one day, when I hadn't yet driven out the thought karma that was interfering with me, my heart suddenly started to beat wildly, as if someone had tied a string on it and was pulling the string repeatedly. My husband opposed my practice, so I had to keep him from knowing about this. I tried to act as normal as possible, without displaying anything abnormal.
In addition to the old forces' torture using thought karma and sickness karma, the dark minions and rotten demons were controlling my husband, causing him to make a big fuss about a tiny matter. He beat me and kicked me. I felt indeed, "Abundant troubles rain down together" ("Tempering the Will" from Hong Yin) and I felt cultivation practice was too difficult and almost collapsed and gave up.
Master said,
"You've got to try hard, and you've got to do well, because what you want is to consummate everything, and you have responsibilities--you have come with the mission and responsibility of saving sentient beings." ("Touring North America to Teach the Fa")
I was suddenly enlightened. Other practitioners told me, "You'll get better if you think more about the sentient beings." But I had never forgotten to think about my own feelings. A Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple should take saving sentient beings as the essence. Just as Master said, I have a mission and responsibility. How could I think of death? That was not based on the Fa. Am I really helpless before the old forces' persecution?
Master said at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia,
"Even if sometime in history you did sign some kind of pact, if today your righteous thoughts are very strong, you don't recognize it, and you insist on not taking part in it, then you can in fact reject it." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.")
I decided to memorize Master's words, completely negate the old forces, and thoroughly deny them in my mind and actions. I made up my mind to give up the attachments and do whatever I was supposed to do, not to be interfered with or affected by it, and try my best to do the three things well.
Master also said,
"For a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple, personal liberation is not the goal of cultivation: when you came, saving sentient beings was your great aspiration, and that is the responsibility and mission history has bestowed upon you in Fa-rectification." ("Let Go of Human Attachments and Save the World's People")
When I went to the morning market, boundless compassion emerged from my innermost being when I saw sentient beings. I started clarifying the facts at the market from opening until closing. Many people came to understand the truth and accepted the fliers I offered. While I was wholeheartedly doing Dafa work, my "sickness karma" disappeared without my knowing it.
I understood even more clearly that it was the old forces' persecution, and I must completely negate it. At the same time I needed to look inside to find my attachments, which had provided loopholes for the old forces to persecute me again and again. With other practitioners' help I was able to find many attachments, including emotional attachments, which were actually quite serious. I had not realized that this was why I didn't have good results clarifying the facts to my family members. Also, I was intolerant when working with other practitioners. I was relatively impetuous. When a problem arose I had difficulty calming down, and my language was sharp and intolerant. I was protective of my reputation. When other practitioners pointed out my problem I often looked for excuses. After finding these attachments, I tried to correct my mindset through cultivation practice by constantly studying the Fa and improving myself. I now get along better with practitioners and have gradually discovered that the thought karma interference has disappeared.
I realized, just as Master said, "Matter and mind are one thing." ("Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia")
