(Clearwisdom.net) During my cultivation over the last few years, I have managed to walk my path with firm faith in Teacher and Dafa, even under the most severe situations, but regrettably, I did not always study the Fa well and did not have a thorough understanding. I feel ashamed to face Teacher and Dafa. The following is a summary of my cultivation over the past few years. Kindly point out anything inappropriate.
Teacher is Always with Us
When the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started the persecution in 1999, my father-in-law and mother-in-law tried to get me to stop cultivating because they were afraid of the evil party. My husband also tried to make me quit practicing, and even threatened to divorce me. With steadfast faith in Dafa, and a limited understanding of Dafa, I said to him, "I will not give up Falun Gong. Go ahead if you want a divorce." One evening in the winter, my husband and I were riding a motorcycle and were headed home. We fell off the motorcycle due to the slippery road. When we got up, neither of us was injured. We were barely scratched. I knew that Teacher was protecting me. I feel that Teacher is with me at all times.
In late September, 2002, the evil party was to hold its 16th Plenary Conference so the police went door to door arresting Falun Gong practitioners. The police had been to my home to harass me many times, but this time they just passed by the entrance to my building. Later, my colleague told me that six police officers had stormed into her home and mistook her for me. When they were about to handcuff her she yelled, "What do you want?" They said, "Aren't you so and so?" A police officer from my area stopped them when he realized the mistake, and the police then left. When they finally got to my home, they seemed to have lost their energy. They knocked on my door a few times. I saw them from the peephole and just ignored them. They did not hear me and left. I know that Teacher had again protected me.
There are many such examples. Without Teacher's merciful protection, I could not have come this far.
Eliminating Interference from the attachment to emotion, Improving Xinxing, and Treating Sentient Beings with Compassion
In 1999, I felt overwhelmed by the huge campaign to smear Falun Gong, and the pressure from my family was also huge. It was like a knife pressing against me. Had it not been for the foundation I had built from studying the Fa, I could not have passed the tests. At that time, my husband sometimes did not come home at night as he was with another woman. Even when he did come home, the woman would call as soon as he arrived. I was indignant when I heard her voice. I asked her, "You have a family too. Why do you do this to another family." She ignored me and even said, "Don't you believe in Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance? You should just practice at home, or else the public security bureau will...
After I studied the Fa and shared what was happening with other practitioners, I enlightened to the fact that nothing in cultivation is accidental. Although I did not know what my predestined relationship with that woman was, I did not hate her. I went to her parent's home to talk with them, and her mother was touched, "You are so kind. I did not teach her well... I will talk to her."
In the past, I experienced interference when I studied the Fa. I then started memorizing the Fa. I have almost finished memorizing the book for the third time, and I have benefited a lot from doing so. Whenever I felt bitterness, I knew that I was being affected by the attachment to emotion, and I recalled Teacher's Fa,
"Everything has its karmic relationship. Why can human beings be human? It is because human beings have sentimentality. They live just for this sentimentality. Affection among family members, love between a man and a woman, love for parents, feelings, friendship, doing things for friendship, and everything else all relate to this sentimentality. Whether a person likes to do something or not, is happy or unhappy, loves or hates something, and everything in the entire human society comes from this sentimentality. If this sentimentality is not relinquished, you will be unable to practice cultivation. If you are free from this sentimentality, nobody can affect you. An everyday person's mind will be unable to sway you. What takes over in its place is benevolence, which is something more noble." (Zhuan Falun)
"All the affairs, countless, over long, drawn-out years
pass like a wisp of smoke.
And though they leave the common man confused,
For what were the vast heavens and earth created?
'Tis baffling, this question, to the sentient beings."
("Dafa Breaks the Illusion" from Hong Yin)
It is Teacher's Fa that allowed me to understand that the purpose of life is to return to our original, true selves. The three realms and human beings were created for Dafa. This opportunity is unprecedented in tens of thousands of years, and is most precious. I feel that I am most fortunate and I pity those who are lost in this world. Eventually, I found the woman [having the affair with my husband] and treated her like my sister. I clarified the truth about the goodness of Falun Gong and persuaded her to quit the CCP as well. She gladly agreed.
While I was out talking to people about quitting the CCP and the true nature of Falun Gong, I sometimes noticed other couples walking by. The thought that "my husband is with another woman" would come up, but it didn't bother me. I knew that it was a test for me. That is not what I pursue. I remembered that Teacher said,
"We do not seek what everyday people want. Instead, what we get is something everyday people cannot obtain--even though they want to--except through cultivation practice." (Zhuan Falun)
Teacher asked us to cultivate our hearts, sever our desires, and get rid of our attachments. The purpose of my life is to assimilate to Dafa , assist Teacher in rectifying the Fa, save sentient beings, fulfill the vows made tens of thousands of years ago, and return to my true homeland. So I will not be bothered by qing.
Clarifying the Truth, Persuading People to Quit the CCP and Saving Sentient Beings
When I first went out to talk to people and negate the propaganda, I felt afraid because my mind was not righteous enough. The effect of my words was not good. I started talking to my relatives, classmates, and colleagues. Some of them who did not understand would say to my family members, "She talks to everyone about this. Does she have a problem?" But I did not care what they said. I just did the three things that I have to do. After studying the Fa and continuing to purify myself, the effect became better and better.
After talking with everyone I knew, I went to talk to people that I didn't know. I used every opportunity to clarify the truth, such as when I went to the market or shopping center. After the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party was published, I used every opportunity to talk to people about quitting the CCP and the true nature of Falun Gong.
One time I went to a rural area. I walked by a house and saw a few people in a courtyard. A woman came out, and I stopped and clarified the truth to her. As soon as I mentioned Falun Gong, a big guy came out and asked me, "What are you doing? Do you know who I am? I am the head of the village. I will report you to the police station." Then he grabbed my collar and was going to dial his cell phone. I said to him, "Don't call just yet. Let me finish." I had no fear at that moment. I sent forth righteous thoughts and asked Teacher to give me strength. As he was phoning the police, all the people who had been chatting in the courtyard came to help me out. The woman said, "Why are you fighting with a woman?" She said to me, "Leave quickly." I left safely with Teacher's protection.
When I got back home, I calmed down and looked inside myself. Why had such a thing happened to me? Teacher said,
"If you are not afraid, the factor that would make you afraid will cease to exist." ("Eliminating Your Last Attachment(s)" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I realized that these things happened because I was still not calm enough. I needed to study the Fa more and increase my righteous thoughts in order to save sentient beings. After doing so, my truth clarification work became easier. In early 2005, I went to a rural area to attend a wedding and used the opportunity to clarify the truth. I helped about 35 people quit the CCP. As soon as I left the building, I wanted to add up how many people had quit, but then I realized that this idea was a manifestation of zealotry. In the summer of 2006, I attended two weddings and persuaded around 100 people to quit the CCP.
I have now had many experiences in truth clarification work, and I know that I need to do it with a pure heart. It's for saving others. No matter what the attitudes are of the people you talk with, you have to be patient and not be afraid of losing face. Even when people don't want to quit, we have to treat them with compassion.