(Clearwisdom.net) Respected Master, fellow practitioners, today is the 13th anniversary of Teacher's lecture in Chenzhou. I thank Teacher and fellow practitioners for this opportunity to share my experience and hope that we can elevate as a whole body and advance diligently.
1. Enlightening to the Importance of Looking Inward for the First Time
I remember once I had an ulcer in the corner of my mouth and it lasted for more than a month. Fellow practitioners asked what happened to me. I was too embarrassed to let them see me. I looked inward, asking myself: "Am I always truthful? Am I really following Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance?" I tried to correct my behavior, but the ulcer still did not heal. I did not see anything wrong with myself until I was asked by someone to speak to another practitioner who had somewhat deviated from the Fa. He liked to read famous books authored by ordinary people and enjoyed quoting from them when he shared with fellow practitioners, instead of quoting from Master Li. He would not listen to others share their understandings. They hoped that I could talk to him.
I pointed out his attachments from the Fa's point of view, but he just shrugged it off and became defensive. When I got back, I asked myself: "If I was truly kind to him, wouldn't he listen to me? What is my problem?" Then I remembered Teacher's Fa in A Dialogue with the Time "It would be good if they could manage to search within themselves for the things that they have been able to find in others." Have I done something that has deviated from the Fa? Why did I see only his problems?
I thought about some truth clarification work that I had done recently and the positive feedback I received from other practitioners. My zealotry and attachments to showing off emerged without me noticing them. When I shared with fellow practitioners, I did not quote Teacher, but told them what I enlightened to as Master's original words. No wonder the corner of my mouth had been bad for so long. I was even looking reasons at the superficial level. My enlightenment quality was poor. Teacher had tried to guide me, but I failed to realize it. Therefore he made me see the problems in other practitioners so I could enlighten.
After realizing this, my mouth was all better the next day. When I met with the practitioner, he did not talk in an ordinary people's way. We could both see things from the Fa. I came to understand the importance of looking inward.
2. Truly looking inward, Dafa will harmonize everything
When I read about how practitioners received and promoted NTDTV, I thought we should do the same in our area. It is an excellent way to clarify the truth and to persuade people to quit the CCP. However, we did not even know how to install a satellite dish, so how could we promote it? When I had this thought, Master made arrangements for me. A practitioner visited from out of town. He downloaded the technical information and said, "Let's go buy the equipment." I was hesitant and unsure, but he said, "It can be done. It's very simple. We can do it for sure."
I realized where I was lacking, I did not have enough faith, as he did. I did not have faith in the Fa. As long as we do it righteously, Teacher will give us the wisdom. With this thought, we succeeded. However, during the process, I found many of my human mentalities. When I stayed with them to work on the project, I was being negative. They asked me to be positive and I even said that I was just being truthful. I thought he was in denial. A few days later, I could not stay any more, I said to him, "Do it yourself, teach me when you succeed" and left.
When I got back, I knew that I was not right. I sat back and looked inward. I saw my human mentalities, and had no righteous thoughts. I was afraid of physical hardships and had no patience. Because we did not know what we were doing, we bought a dish that's 1.5 meters. For the first two days, the dish was taken apart and put together, back and forth a few times. We had to move it from one place to another. And yet, I gave up when fellow practitioners needed my righteous thoughts the most. I said negative things without considering how he felt. I was always saying something negative to undermine his confidence. In addition, there was interference from other dimensions. I enlightened that these negative thoughts were not me. They are ways of thinking from living in the culture of the CCP. Without knowing that we are Dafa practitioners, I looked at it from an ordinary person's standpoint.
When I realized this, I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the bad stuff, to rectify the distorted mentalities, and eliminate the interference from other dimensions in order to strengthen the righteous thoughts of practitioners and trust that Teacher will help us and Dafa will harmonize everything and we will succeed. When I called the practitioner, he told me that he had gotten the satellite system working. When I heard that, I understood what Master said, "Cultivation is up to you, gong is up to the master. "
3. Look inward and enlighten to the seriousness of cultivation
Not too long ago, I had gotten lax in my cultivation. I could not keep my mind calm when sending forth righteous thoughts. When I studied, I felt something wrapped around me that separated me from the Fa. My mind was not clear when I was doing the exercises either. I was just mechanically doing things to validate Dafa. I looked inward, but did not know what the problem was. I had too many attachments, but did not know where to begin to find them.
Looking back at my cultivation in the past few years, I became diligent only after reading Teacher's "Touring North America to Teach the Fa (March 2002). I could not express how shaken I was. I could not believe how important the mission of Dafa disciples was, so I did not dare to lax off in my cultivation and realized the seriousness of cultivation. We should not take lightly the sentient beings' lives. I further enlightened to Teacher's infinite grace in saving everybody in the universe. In the ensuing days, I know that as long as I focused on studying the Fa well; looked inward at whatever happens and had faith in Dafa, I would be able to harmonize to what Teacher would like us to do. At that time, I tried hard to follow what Teacher required of us. In those days, I put into action whatever I enlightened to and tried my best even when I faltered. For example, I remember when I first sent forth righteous thoughts, I dozed off. Fellow practitioners pointed it out to me that "cultivation was serious.", and asked me how I could be like this.
Studying the Fa I kept reading "Cultivation is serious." Teacher was reminding me. Since then, I did not fall asleep when I sent forth righteous thoughts until again just recently. So, why did it happen again? I slacked off and did not look inward when things happened. I did not treat cultivation seriously.
In Lecture 4 of Zhuan Falun, I read the following,
"This is even more true for somebody who's born with a good base. He feels that his gong is coming along nicely and his practice is going well. How come so much trouble suddenly comes up? How come everything goes sour? Everybody treats him badly, his boss looks down on him, and things at home get tense. How come so many problems suddenly come up? He still hasn't understood it yet. His base is good, and so he was able to reach a certain level, and now this kind of cultivation state appears. But how could that be the ultimate Perfection standard for a cultivator? His cultivation has still got a long way to go! You have to keep improving yourself. It was the result of that little base you brought with you--that's why you were able to reach that cultivation state. If you want to improve further the standard has to be raised."
I realized that the reason I had that unfavorable state was because during the past few years I thought I was doing so well in my cultivation. I had passed all the tests with faith in Teacher and the Dafa. I thought I was so remarkable. When fellow practitioners praised me, I was filled with zealotry. I was attached to my achievements and did not want to improve myself anymore. With the attachments to comfort, showing off, zealotry, and jealousy, I was not respectful to Teacher, and my faith in Fa was not as solid.
The old forces take advantage of this once you deviate from the Fa. They will do everything in their power to undermine your will. One of their tricks is to make you feel that you cannot advance in the Fa. This happened to me. I was hesitant in whatever I did, with no righteous thoughts. I complained a lot about my fellow practitioners, without looking in at myself. I forgot that when I actually put my heart into it, I had Teacher protecting me. In fact, I did not study the Fa correctly. I missed many opportunities to improve my xinxing. I was not truthful when I was sharing with practitioners and could not be part of the one body. So my cultivation did not improve.
Without knowing it, I had come to a horrible stage. Now I realized that even if we become lax in just one thought, we might become trapped in a desperate situation. It's very important to have faith in Teacher and the Fa. Only if we let go of human attachments, and have faith in Teacher and the Fa, will we walk our paths well. We cannot let Teacher down. I hope fellow practitioners who have had similar experiences will awaken, too.
Category: Improving Oneself
