(Clearwisdom.net) Stumbling from time to time during my cultivation and validation of the Fa over the past few years, I have been able to come through to today, and it was all because of Master's careful protection at every moment. As I did not do very well, a lot of effort from Master was needed. So, I'm willing to write down some of my experiences and understandings during my path of cultivation in the Fa-Rectification process.
From the experiences shared on Minghui/Clearwisdom website and those of local practitioners, I knew that the practitioners who are involved in coordination are prone to developing the attachment to doing things. This attachment is very damaging, so I often reminded myself to be cautious about it. However, I was not able to focus on solid cultivation; I became busier and busier. While studying the Fa or sending forth righteous thoughts, my mind was not pure and I was thinking about doing things. Actually this state already reflects a poor status for a practitioner. Sometimes I have become an ordinary person doing Dafa work, seeking out solutions with ordinary thoughts rather than measuring myself against the Fa. Accordingly when something was accomplished, I unconsciously validated myself to show off how capable I was, and I thus put aside Master and Dafa. This is already a big deviation from the Fa requiring rectification.
My attachment to fame was also strengthened during the process of coordination. I praised myself upon receiving appreciation. In the end I could not correctly position myself, and I rarely looked inside. Master said, "Fame is a great obstacle to reaching Consummation." ("Dafa Will Forever be Pure Like Diamond," Essentials for Further Advancement) My attachment to fame made my mind more and more unclear, and as a result, I endured unnecessary bodily symptoms.
Fellow practitioners, please make sure not to make yourself too busy. We need to adjust our attitudes and keep pace with the Fa-Rectification. Otherwise, however much we do, if we do not cultivate ourselves, it becomes easy for us to stumble.
During my cultivation I had been a bit slack on the attachment to lust. Once I went to see a practitioner that I liked a little bit, so I wanted to be dressed up. At the moment I was putting my pants on, I felt something enter into my lower back and it felt a little bit painful. Though I thought at that moment, "Is it possible it was caused by my unrighteous thoughts?" I did not deny it and let it pass. Later on my lower back was painful for quite a while, and during that period an open sore appeared at the upper end of my left leg. When the pus came out, several small holes were left and it discharged pus for over a year. However I did not regard the attachment to lust as the cause of these symptoms.
In August 2006, another sore appeared at the upper end of my right leg and it became bigger and bigger. This was just at the time when the child of my brother was to have a wedding ceremony. I thought would it cause a negative image for Dafa if this sore would be seen by my relatives and friends on the wedding day. But on the day before the wedding, I was very determined that I must go, and I was sure that Master would assist me to save people. After this thought was made firmly, all the pus disappeared that night. Later during the wedding ceremony, I helped more than ten people to withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party. I knew that it was Master who was helping me after my righteous thoughts were strengthened. Master understands a practitioner's willingness to do well. This made me understand again that during tribulations, as long as we believe in Master and the Fa firmly, there is no tribulation that we cannot pass.
I deeply looked within, and realized that I did not form the habit of disciplining myself on every single thought, and when the evil thought came to me, I did not negate it. Because I allowed my attachment to grow, I was persecuted most seriously, even to the point of not being able to stand up. I thus could not do the three things well. Cultivation is so serious; I could not believe that the evil had taken such a big advantage of my loophole to the attachment of lust. In this last stage of Fa-Rectification, we must catch every single thought and eliminate every attachment. Actually what the deities cultivate is just a single thought. We are beings heading toward the realms of deities, and we should be incomparably holy. How could we allow evil thoughts get into our minds or make trouble?
June 6, 2007
