(Clearwisdom.net) I have not been very diligent in cultivation, and my writing is not that good. I only want to briefly review my cultivation path to express my gratitude for Master's salvation.
1. Master Saved My Life
I became a Falun Gong practitioner in 1996. Prior to that I had suffered from several illnesses, including severe neurosis, inflammation of the gallbladder, dizziness, sudden shock, irregular heartbeat and frequent headaches. I tried all kinds of treatments and took medicines for years, but to no avail. My condition was quite painful.
One day a high school friend told me about Falun Gong. When I first read Zhuan Falun, Master Li's teachings in the book addressed many of my spiritual doubts accumulated over the years and answered all of my questions about life. The book changed my world view and I became a practitioner. After a short time all my poor health symptoms vanished and I felt very strong and relaxed. My body and heart experienced a huge transformation. I was in my sixties. When I went to work I could ride my bike up hills with little effort, while many young people had to push their bikes up hills. Many people could not believe that they were not even as strong as an old woman. They have no idea how much care my Master has given me. Master cleansed my body. When I watched Master's lecture on video I felt a cool breeze blowing through my legs. When I started to do the standing exercises I felt pain at the bottom of my feet, but when I began to meditate my feet felt hot. I knew that Master was unblocking my energy channels and cleansing my body.
After one year I had completely changed - not only physically, but also spiritually. My colleagues and neighbors told me that I had changed tremendously. I now live my life according to the principles of Truth, Compassion, Tolerance. I also noticed the improvement of my temperament. Master saved me, and I became a practitioner. Later I read Master poem:
"Oh how many the years, looking for the master,
Finally the day has arrived to meet him.
Cultivate and return, the Fa now gained,
And follow your master to return, consummated."
("Destined Return for the Holy Fruition" from Hong Yin)
The tears fell from my eyes like a river. At that moment I made up my mind to spend the rest of my life cultivating in Dafa.
2. Going To Beijing to Appeal for Falun Gong
On April 25, 1999, ten thousand Dafa practitioners appealed at the Central Appeals Office in Zhongnanhai. Their peaceful action, triggered by the unlawful arrest of fellow practitioners in Tianjin, surprised the world. This incident allowed me to feel Master's grandeur and practitioners' kind-hearted manner. Ten thousand people stood there for a whole day, waiting quietly and calmly and in perfect order for an answer from the government. After they left in the evening, the grounds were cleaner than before. The evil dictator Jiang Zemin could not understand how Falun Gong practitioners could be such good people. As Master said in Zhuan Falun, "They are thus far more noble than the heroes of everyday people. They do it completely out of their benevolent compassion."
After the persecution started on July 20, 1999, I experienced for the first time how the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) openly lies. Upon seeing this I became very angry. I told everyone about my personal experience with Falun Gong, and about how the persecution is wrong. I defended Master's reputation. I didn't know why the persecution started, why the CCP banned such a wonderful practice, and why people were branded criminals for following Truth, Compassion, Tolerance. I had not yet realized from the Fa's perspective the seriousness of the persecution.
After Master's article "Towards Consummation" was published, other practitioners and I studied and discussed it together. Finally, we decided to go to Beijing to validate the Fa. We were arrested and detained in a police station. During our detention we recited the poems in Hong Yin and did the exercises at night. Although the police assaulted us physically and verbally, we cared for and encouraged each other. We recited Master's poem together:
"Be resolute cultivating Dafa, the mind unstirred
Climbing in levels is what's fundamental
Faced with tests, a person's true character is revealed
May you Consummate--
a Buddha, Dao, or God"
("True Character is Revealed" from Hong Yin II)
We tried our best to follow Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance in everything we did, and we helped each other while we were detained. More than 20 people were detained in the same room, all of us practitioners. The experience really demonstrated that practitioners are one body, no matter where we are. Later I experienced serious illness symptoms. Master helped me to get out of the detention center. Once again, I joined fellow practitioners to validate the Fa.
But new tests came along. In my past cultivation, as a retiree I felt I was doing fine and had improved a great deal, but when conflicts arose, it was still difficult for me. I was a competitive person prior to beginning cultivation practice. At work or at home, I wanted to be the best. When others commented that I was a "strong woman" I was quite happy. When I first studied the Fa I came across the following teaching in Zhuan Falun:
"I am telling you this principle that everyday people are unable to realize. You may think that you are good at everything, but your life does not have it. That person is good at nothing, but his life has it, and he will become a boss." ("Lecture Seven" from Zhuan Falun, 2000 translation version)
I thought Master was talking about me. I put in a lot of effort, and everyone agreed that I was a capable person. But I still could not get a promotion at work. Master's Fa answered my life's questions. Promotions were not part of my destiny. I began to see the real meaning of life.
My husband was an even-tempered and reasonable person. He agreed with my decisions almost all the time. But after July 20, 1999, he completely changed into another person. No matter what I did, he harshly criticized me. I found this difficult to endure. I knew this was arranged for me to improve my xinxing, but I still felt upset and repeatedly cried. I knew these were tests, but I failed the tests miserably. Sometimes I told him, "I am a practitioner; you should thank Master Li for that. If you did this to me before, you would have to immediately bear the consequences." Once I thought of leaving home. On my way out the door I recited a paragraph from Essentials for Further Advancement,
"Forbearance is the key to improving one's xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator." ("What is Forbearance (Ren)?")
I suddenly realized that I had no compassion toward my husband. I was the problem, not him. By looking at myself during conflicts I realized that my attachment was not completely relinquished. That day I passed the test, and our relationship became much better after that.
3. Clarify the Truth and Rescue Sentient Beings
When I began to get involved in clarifying the truth about the persecution, I feared that someone might inform the police, so I only spoke to people I knew. I would begin by talking about my health improvements. Next I would tell people that Dafa teaches people to become better by following Truthfulness, Compassion, Tolerance. Master told us that whatever we do, we have to think of others first, and we need to assess whether others can understand and agree with us. One time I was returning from my home village with my five year-old granddaughter. As we crossed a street, a young biker crashed into both of us from behind and ran over the child. Panicked, I checked to see if she was okay. I felt relief when I found her unscratched, but she cried loudly from fear. I told the young man, "You should have been more careful." He explained that the brakes had stopped working on his bike and he was careening downhill from the bridge. How dangerous? Without Master's protection, it could have been a tragic accident. The young man apologized repeatedly. I told him that I am a Falun Dafa practitioner, and to please remember, "Falun Dafa is great." He agreed and thanked me several times before leaving. When I took a shower at home my family member asked me what happen to my back. I then realized that I had a large bruise on my back.
One day I went to a barber for a haircut. A young man named Zhang Yong asked me, "Auntie, are you cultivating Buddhism? Can you help me? I am only 21, but I don't have any physical strength. Even picking up a pair of scissors is a struggle." I told him that I am a Falun Gong practitioner, how bad my health was before, and that Falun Gong saved my life. I also told him other things about Falun Gong and the persecution. I told him that what they say on TV about Falun Gong are complete lies. Several other people also listened. I loaned him my only copy of "Zhuan Falun" for a week. When he returned the book a week later he said to me, "Auntie, my entire view of the world has changed." The barber shop eventually closed and I lost track of him. I now really regret that I did not let him keep the book.
I eventually began to clarify the facts to the public by delivering flyers and displaying posters. My home village is in the country, and I often visit my relatives there. I have told the bus drivers and fellow passengers along the way the facts about the so-called Tiananmen Square self-immolation, the real nature of the persecution, about how Falun Dafa has spread to over 70 countries, and that Jiang Zemin decided to ban Falun Gong out of personal jealousy.
After the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party was published, I sent many VCD's to my friends, relatives and other people I know, and I encouraged them to quit the Party and its affiliated organizations. When people see how corrupt the Communist officials are and how hard life is for the unemployed, and when villagers see how powerful officials have bought out the village-level elections, they all say that the Communist Party is going to collapse due to corruption. Everyone curses Jiang Zemin.
When people first hear about the crimes of organ harvesting from living practitioners, they are shocked. More people began to see the evil nature of the CCP and quit the Party and its affiliated organizations. Many of my friends, relatives and neighbors have quit. Some families quit the Party together. But many others are still waiting for us to rescue them. I have not been able to persuade everyone I see to quit. There are many things I haven't done well.
I am resolved to be more diligent in Fa study, follow Master on the path of Fa-rectification and become a real Dafa disciple of the Fa-rectification period.
