(Clearwisdom.net) I have cultivated for several years now, yet I find that I still have a lot of human attachments that I have not yet eliminated. They have demonstrated themselves strongly, especially in that I haven't studied the Fa enough and have not always treated things with righteous thoughts. My understanding is that these attachments are both internal and external, including my temper, fatigue, rambling thoughts, notions, laziness, jealousy, competitiveness, the show-off mentality, attachment to accomplishment, attachment to fear, desire, vanity, zealotry, as well as other human emotions. Every attachment has its material existence, and can be used by evil spirits and rotten demons to persecute us. These are all attachments that we cultivators must eliminate.
A couple of situations made me think deeply recently. One was that my daughter had a fever and a cough. My wife was attached to my daughter, and out of this attachment, she told me to send forth righteous thoughts. However, we sent righteous thoughts for a few days with no effect. I asked my wife if she felt anxious and worried as soon as my daughter appeared sick. She admitted that she did. I told her that because of her attachment, our righteous thoughts were not able to take effect, and it took her several days to recover. After my sharing, she understood.
If we had an attachment to fear, afraid that we would be reported to the authorities, then someone would tell us to our face that they would report us. If we were afraid of the police, they would appear in front of our eyes. Whatever we are afraid of, it will come. After studying the Fa, I realized that my fears were not truly me. I used righteous thoughts to expel them and now less and less of such matter is left.
I also still have a bit of sexual desire left. Sometimes the desire was stronger, sometimes weaker. After my desire was satisfied, I often felt regret, feeling that I had cultivated poorly. Sometimes I would make a mistake in this area even though I knew it was wrong. I didn't even dare to look at Master's photo. I would feel very guilty and thought I'd do better the next time to eliminate this attachment. However, after a few days, this matter began to interfere with me again. Sometimes when I walked down the street, my eyes lingered longer on attractive women. Although I did not have any evil thoughts, it still was a manifestation of lust and desire. Then I asked myself, "No matter how attractive the women were, would I dare to do anything?" I wouldn't. Since I wouldn't, then I shouldn't even think about anything. Having cultivated for so many years, I already know the purpose of being human. Then why was I still interfered with by these things? Wasn't I interfered with by these matters inside of my own body? Thus, I studied the Fa more. As Master often advised us, we should use righteous thoughts to treat every interference and tribulation. All of those attachments are to be eliminated. They won't go away by themselves. If we continue to be affected by human attachments, they will eventually destroy us. The attachment to lust and desire is what a cultivator must eliminate. There are no shortcuts, only solid cultivation.
For a long time, when I did the exercises, I experienced a lot of interference. In the middle of the exercises, I often needed to use the restroom or blow my nose. One day while doing the exercises, I needed to have a bowel movement. I tried to hold it in, and then I started to experience pain. I treated it with righteous thoughts, and within less than a minute, the feeling was gone. After that, there was no such interference at all.
Living amongst ordinary people, there are many things happening around us. I used to not pay attention to some of the small problems in my xinxing. Through studying the Fa, I realized that the magnitude of the issues did not matter--it was our hearts that counted. If we did not pay attention to small problems, big problems would manifest. I am often reminded of Master's words, "Full of great aspirations while minding minor details." ("Sage," Essentials for Further Advancement) In cultivation, I use righteous thoughts to deal with everything around me.
The above are some of my shallow cultivation understandings.
