(Clearwisdom.net) For a month I had been so disturbed by something that my temper often flared up. I knew that my state was not right and that it was caused by an attachment, but I didn't know how to remove the attachment. Only after I truly understood Teacher's new article did I begin to enlighten.
Some time ago, after I clarified the truth to a person with a predestined relationship with me, she was very receptive to the truth. She then also helped other people to learn the truth.
Her daughter had been taking after-school lessons from me for several months. When I began tutoring her, her parents paid me some compensation, but recently the daughter told me that her family was experiencing financial difficulties. Later, they completely stopped paying me.
I didn't say anything at that time, however I always felt a little uneasy in my heart. Over time, the way I treated her daughter changed for the worse. I became impatient with her. At the beginning, the daughter told her mom about my changed attitude towards her. Her mother asked a member of my family to tell me to take her daughter seriously. When I heard that, I became very upset and I complained a lot. My family members said that I wasn't behaving like a practitioner, and I argued with them, disagreeing with the mother's complaint.
One time I went to the home to tutor her daughter. Her daughter started crying and misbehaving. She said, "I don't want to go to school any more. I don't know anything, and nobody teaches me anything." At that time, I wondered whether I was behaving as a practitioner should. While talking to her patiently, I was thinking, "If you don't pay me, how can you expect me to teach you anything?"
Later her mother asked me how deal with her daughter's situation. Again, I came up with an analysis that seemed very convincing. I said that her daughter's study methods were not right and that her attitude was not right. She didn't listen to me, nor did she respect me. However, how could I possibly fool myself, or Teacher? I was still thinking about money. I talked for over an hour, and her mother didn't say a word. In the end she said, "I will find another after-school teacher for my daughter. We can't afford you." After I heard her comments, I shrugged them off and said, "It's up to you."
I was blaming the mother for being selfish. I was also afraid to refuse her right in her face, which would undermine her impression of Dafa practitioners. I couldn't let go of it either. I became impatient and lost my temper easily.
Upon seeing me not enlightening, Teacher used a very smart way to help me. One afternoon, a girl sitting by my building was shouting someone's name. She sounded like one of my former co-workers, so I opened the window and took a look, planning to tell her to come up to my place so I could clarify the truth to her. But I saw two girls I didn't know.
After a while, I heard swearing and beating coming from downstairs. Actually, the two girls had come to the apartment building to get their money back from someone. One of them was shouting the name of the person who owed them the money. As soon as that person came out, he slapped one girl, and claimed that he didn't want to pay them back, but wanted to kill them instead. Seeing this, I thought that people nowadays have no morals.
Later that evening, I left the building to run an errand, and surprisingly enough, I saw the two girls sitting by a stone bench on the roadside. Their heads were lowered. They were waiting to get their money back. Suddenly, I enlightened that I almost made a serious mistake in my own dealings. I probably owed the mother and daughter from my previous life, and I was to pay them back in this life. But because of my selfishness, I didn't want to pay them back. Moreover, I may have caused them to view Dafa practitioners as selfish. Wasn't it very dangerous for them to have a negative impression of Dafa?
They had insisted on having me tutor the daughter after school. Wasn't it just like the two girls chasing their debtor? Teacher, I was wrong, I was indeed wrong. My enlightenment quality was not good on this issue. Without Teacher's compassionate enlightening, I would have made more serious mistakes.
I want to share my experience so that when other practitioners run into tribulations, they will first look within. Nothing we experience during our cultivation is accidental.
