(Clearwisdom.net)
In November 2001, I took a northbound train to visit my hometown. I was on my way to visit my friends and relatives, whom I had not seen for many years, with plans tell them the facts about Falun Gong. The trip was split into two parts. The first part of my journey went smoothly and I felt I had been successful in clarifying the truth to those I visited. But on the second trip I ran into difficulties due to my strong attachments that had revealed themselves. While waiting to switch trains, I left the train station. Upon returning to the entrance of the train station , some policemen came up to me and searched my bag, finding the VCDs I had in it. I was detained at that train station's detention room, and later transferred to the Railroad Bureau Branch Office Detention Center. At this stage of the Fa-rectification every moment should be used to clarify the truth to sentient beings, yet I was abducted by the evil. This must have been because of my omissions. How did I manage to get myself into the evil's den? I felt very disappointed and loathed myself for my own ignorance and lack of diligence. I tried to escape several times, but I was unsuccessful.
Then at the detention center I thought to myself, "Since I ended up here, this must be the place where I should clarify the truth." I put a stringent demand on my own conduct because this was a prerequisite in order for me to carry out my historical mission. For some reason I could tell that many people there had a predestined relationship with me, so I did not give up on any opportunity in clarifying the truth to them. Many of them, I could feel, were truly listening to me and understood what I was talking about, including deputies and the deputy assigned to my particular case (from the Railroad Bureau Branch Office), several station chiefs, as well as the inmates in my detention cell. All of them respected me. A young police officer even gave me his phone number, asking me to find him once I was released so that I could teach him the exercises.
Although I had gone on hunger strikes to validate the Fa many times before when I was persecuted, when I first got into this detention center, I did not go on a hunger strike. I felt I would get out in a few days, and at the same time I wanted to display my best appearance in front of my friends and relatives, whom I had not seen for ten years. I did not want to appear exhausted from hunger striking. But after a day went by, I changed my mind, thinking that the opportunity had to be seized to proactively break out of the detention center. So I started a hunger strike and shortly after, the station chief on duty talked to me and asked me to eat my meal. Because other deputies accompanied him, I clarified the truth to all of them. I did not spare any effort in telling them the facts about Falun Gong.
Two days passed and I felt as though I had accomplished all I had set out to do at the detention center. Calmly and objectively, I searched within myself. I tried examining my own mindset, as if I were a bystander. What I saw was that I was merely performing the Fa-validation work and I could clearly see many attachments between each thought and idea, like how human sentimentality was being mixed in together with my efforts. Why had my trip gone smoothly all the way up until the last part, where I stumbled into difficulty? It was a clear display of omissions in my character. My approach in clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings at that time was based on visiting my friends and relatives. I started off with a strong desire to save sentient beings. But after staying several days with my relatives during the first section of my trip, I became influenced by the attachment of human sentimentality and emotions. My mindset started to deviate towards ordinary human thinking, as though my objective of the trip was visiting relatives, and my desire to clarify the truth became less important. Also, my attachments of showing off and complacency emerged. During the time between switching train rides there was only one hour of time before the next train ride would begin and there was no reason for me to leave the train station. Other people even urged me not to leave the station. Yet driven by my human desire, I thought that those people were too timid. How could such an improper mindset be fit for the sacred mission of saving the sentient beings of this world?
After recognizing all the degenerate matter I had, my heart became relieved and clear. I had one firm thought, "There are so many Fa validating responsibilities for me to accomplish, so I must immediately depart from this place and not stay any longer."
That afternoon, the station chief talked to me again and tried to persuade me to eat. There were also several other people in the room and again I clarified the truth about Falun Gong. The chief said, "You're very kind. The previous standard tactics we had used against Falun Gong practitioners who went on a hunger strike was to force-feed them with highly concentrated saline solutions. But we just couldn't do such a thing to you." He ordered an inmate to get a bowl of rice porridge. Right at that moment I felt terrible and my whole body began to shake and tremble. Perhaps I appeared severely sick because the station chief was quite frightened. He ordered that I be transported to the hospital right away. However, all of the available motor squads were busy. So he got on the phone with the deputy in charge of my case, requesting that I be let go immediately without asking for my name, address or local police station. I had the same symptoms the next day. The station chief tried his best to complete the release procedures with the Railroad Bureau Branch Office. He did not feel comfortable until I was released because he did not want to bear the responsibility for my worsening condition. And so it was, that under the care of Teacher, I left the detention center in six days.
Through this experience I have realized that in any environment, even with Dafa practitioners being abducted, the key point is not simply how we handle the situation (including going on a hunger strike), but the realm of our state of mind. When we truly stand from a righteous starting point and put away all self-interests, then Teacher can do everything for us. This experience made me think more about our fellow practitioners who are still being abducted and sent to jails. We are one body. So together let us cleanse and purify our state of mind to an even higher degree, rectify our starting point, and help our abducted fellow practitioners break out of those evil dens as soon as possible.
2003-12-30
