It seems that these past two and a half years of Dafa cultivation have just flown by.
The many early defining moments in my cultivation, such as the incredible health miracles, the growing pains, the joys and frustrations of progressing towards an hour of sitting in full lotus, and so on, have turned from sources of gratitude and satisfaction to dim memories, almost like a dream. For they were what defined my cultivation, and that of other students, in the pre-July 20, 1999, period--a time of individual cultivation, a time when we thought about our own improvement and didn''t understand fully what it meant to be a particle of Dafa.
My world of individual, personal cultivation came to a sudden, harsh end on July 20th two years ago. At the time I was a student studying the Chinese language in Beijing, China, at a famous university. Suddenly, overnight, my world was turned upside down by the persecution. I will never forget that morning when I went to the park near my dorm where we had our practice site. Gone were all my fellow cultivators--nowhere to be found were their beautiful smiles, their rosy cheeks, their radiant presence. These most beautiful, virtuous people I''d ever met were all gone--professors, staff, and students alike. Instead, in the middle of the empty park, posted on a tree was a sign proclaiming Falun Gong illegal, and threatening us with punishment for any Falun Gong activities or practice in public.
I stood there, numb, bewildered, and devastated, looking at the sign over and over, not believing what was happening. An old man from our practice group, a veteran disciple, saw me from afar and briskly came over. He whispered, "We can''t practice here for now. Not right now. But we will again--we will." No sooner had he said this than did a policeman come along, and the old man had to quickly leave. His words cut into my heart, "we will again--we will."
Soon I learned where my fellow cultivators were. Many had gone to protest at Tiananmen, and had never returned. Others had been dragged from their dormitory rooms and apartments, or were expelled from the school. All were in the following days detained, arrested, and interrogated. Some were beaten quite severely, others soon sent off to labor camps.
Meanwhile the news ran disgusting propaganda films attacking the Dafa 24 hours a day, on multiple channels, every day. The newspapers all unleashed furious, demonic attacks, too, with multiple deceitful articles attacking the Teacher, the teachings, and even the students. There were lead stories, there were opinion pieces, there were cartoons, there were posters and more--all just oozed with viciousness. The government of the world''s largest nation was breeding hatred, trying to turn the masses against its own people. I can''t possibly describe how disturbing this was.
What I saw was the face of Evil. And it was horrible. Once you have seen it face to face you never forget it. And I have not.
I had a moment or two of confusion at the time, maybe one day at most, when I wasn''t sure what to make of the propaganda''s lies. I e-mailed home for advice. At the suggestion of our assistant back in Philadelphia, I read many times the articles in Essentials for Further Advancement, "Digging out the Roots" and "For Whom Do You Exist." Immediately I became clearheaded.
I knew then what I had to do: I had to fight this evil, I had to oppose it with all my strength and wisdom. Right then and there I determined myself to fight this evil with everything I have. I did not think twice, and I have never looked back or questioned that decision.
I left my university just a few weeks later after doing all I could to rectify my immediate environment there. I gave up a year-long scholarship to return home and do Dafa work here. I had no regret or concept of loss. I knew I could do more in the U.S. to stop the evil, to stop these innocent practitioners from being attacked and brutalized. Before I left China I knew that I could use my experiences and understanding as a powerful force to both validate Dafa and expose the evil. I thus explained my decision to return to America to every one of my classmates at the university, and they all were moved and struck. Several were so moved they cried, and one even screamed and sobbed she was so sad at what was happening. Several wanted to learn Falun Gong. Others, though they were not practitioners themselves, were so concerned that when they returned home to the U.S. they, too, did much work to expose the evil and clarify the truth. One even published an article in a major economic journal, and another did a presentation at a famous university here in the States. So I sensed early on the power of righteous faith.
Since then, day after day, week after week, month after month, I have felt myself to be on a mission to validate the Fa and eliminate evil in this world. I have not wavered once; there is no time for that. Instead I have only grown stronger and more clear in my determination. For two years I have slain demons of many sorts to remain focused in this mission--demons of distraction, laziness, complacency, self-consciousness, competitiveness, and so on. Nothing has been worthy of distracting this serious cause. I have always felt that the Fa-rectification work has been what I am here for. Sure, there have certainly been mistakes, conflicts, and what not, but these are precisely our cultivation and what makes us improve--I try to seize these occasions to find the attachment or problem on my part. Sure, it has certainly been hard--the dozens of sleepless nights, the thousands of pages of editing and writing, the miles traveled, holding down a job, the hours in the burning sun, the layers and layers of interference, and so on. But never have I felt sorry for myself, and never have I regretted this. These are just what you do during the Fa-rectification--you do what you can, you do what you must as a particle of Dafa. The tasks to do and the requests for help with the Dafa work sometimes seems to pile up like mountains. Sometimes they feel like a ton of bricks on the shoulders. But these are precious! These are what allow our cultivation to succeed, and these are precisely the vows we made before our Master at the beginning of history! This has always been the feeling. In the past two years, many practitioners have put this feeling into words on the ClearWisdom (Minghui) web site, as they have experienced the same. We are one in the Fa-rectification work.
I can also say that if you are determined, and your heart is right, the Dafa can make anything possible. So many of the tasks we have done in the past two years we would never have even thought of before July 20--none of us knew how to talk to congressman, to nominate the Teacher for this or that award, to run press conferences, to publish a newspaper, to go on television, to host city-wide celebrations, to start an organization, and so on. The Dafa truly develops, molds, and perfects you as much as you are willing to become a particle, an instrument of Fa-rectification. We have learned to shed shell after shell in our work, and unwittingly progressed towards Consummation.
I''m sharing my story not to talk about myself. That would amount to nothing. A fellow practitioner a little while back asked me to write an experience sharing that would give a sense for why I am diligent and determined. Those are his words. I think I am not nearly diligent enough or determined enough. But if I have done Dafa work with some of either of these qualities, it is because I have recognized the evil. I know what it looks like, and I know that I must defeat it, eradicate it. It does not belong in ourselves, it does not belong in China, it does not belong in this world, and it does not belong in this cosmos. I saw it firsthand when I was in China, so this understanding was not hard for me to come by. Perhaps my enlightenment quality is not good, so I needed some help--I had to see it face to face to recognize it. That doesn''t matter. How we respond does. "Grand talk counts for naught when it comes to life and death, Actions reveal what is true." ("The Knowing Heart")
What I think is that anyone who is a Dafa disciple will do the same if he, too, understands what is taking place right now. So many disciples have. If someone is a disciple at this time, a Dafa particle, how could he not be utterly diligent when he realizes that Good and Evil are engaged in the ultimate battle? How could he not be utterly determined when he realizes that the Dafa of the cosmos, which created him and every single particle of this cosmos, is being attacked? How could he sit at home while his Master is being viciously slandered in our own country? How could he be attached to a good night''s sleep when our fellow practitioners in China are being held in custody and deprived of sleep for weeks on end, like Ying''s brother, and tortured ruthlessly? How could he not go out to clarify the truth, when hundreds of thousands--perhaps millions--of people might be eliminated forever because their minds have been misled into disliking the Dafa? It''s that simple. If you are a part of Dafa you do not accept all this, you take action. This is not just what a Dafa disciple should do--it is what he must do. This is the Teacher''s requirement.
It seems that many cultivators have kept up with the Fa-rectification and have met the requirements at different levels, even as these become higher and higher. This is awesome. But some of our practitioners have not kept up, and I am so deeply saddened to see this. Master has made clear how serious falling behind is in the articles "Serious Teachings," "Jianyi," and elsewhere--this is a grave matter.
I would like to share an observation about the disciples who I think have managed to keep up in the Fa-rectification. First is that they have kept up their Fa-study with utmost seriousness, and most of them put in a good, solid two-hours or more a day of study; I think this is pretty basic. I have found, as have they, that this is everything--without solid Fa-study, conflicts abound, we get interference in our work, the quality of our work does not meet the standard, and our timing is off... all of which are things we can''t afford at this crucial time.
Secondly, is that these disciples who have kept up always read the ClearWisdom (Minghui) website, and know well its profound contents. Master has told us that "On important matters, practitioners must watch the position of ClearWisdom (Minghui) net." This is very explicit. This special site contains important, unique insights and experiences of fellow cultivators from around the world; it also has daily, first-hand accounts of the persecution in China. Together, these allow us to understand and experience the meaning of being "one body," and make it possible for us to keep up with the Fa-rectification.
Thirdly, I have also observed that the disciples who have kept up often discuss with other practitioners, exchanging experiences and insights. They do not fear what others will think and keep to themselves, but instead are eager to deepen their understanding and to discover where they are wrong or falling short.
These disciples who have kept up do not make excuses. Instead, they find ways. They do not some days say they are too busy for Fa-study and invent crafty excuses; instead, they skip a meal, or sleep two less hours, or make other sacrifices. They do not say they can''t read the ClearWisdom (Minghui) articles because they don''t have a computer. Instead, they ask someone to print out every important article by fellow practitioners, or they go to a library to use a computer every day or so, or buy one and learn to use it; some practitioners have even gone and taught themselves how to create and run an entire TV station and an entire radio station, all for Dafa! These disciples never limit themselves, instead, they do whatever it takes to meet the standard. They are determined.
So, for those of us who have fallen behind, I''d just like to say this: please, don''t dwell on your shortcomings, and don''t get hung up on criticizing yourself or wishing you''d done better. It is not too late yet. The Fa-rectification is not yet over, the evil still remains. Get determined and seize the day to cultivate and eradicate the evil! The disciples in China are waiting for you! Master is waiting for you! The Fa-rectification is waiting for you!
Please allow me to end with our mighty Teacher''s words, from "Dafa is Indestructible": "A Dafa disciple completely opposes everything arranged by the evil old forces. Clarify the Truth thoroughly, eliminate the evil with righteous thoughts, save all beings, and safeguard the Fa with determination, because you are a part of Dafa, indestructible; rectify all that is not righteous."
Thank you.
(Presented on August 5 at a local experience sharing conference)
