Victoria, Canada

My name is Dawn and I have been practicing Falun Dafa in Victoria for seven months now. I am absolutely amazed by this Fa that our Master has taught. It is so incredibly intricate and precise. I know that the Dafa is exposing and purifying the vast depths of my impure mind, bringing healing to my thoughts in such a way that I never could have imagined. Nothing but this Fa could have rectified my mind like this.

I feel a great weight and tension in my head and body. I hold firmly focused on Dafa, and I experience the sheer power of Dafa pushing out the deviated stuff from my being. All of those bad thoughts are relentless most of the time. I just work to push them out, repress them, disregard them, and give them no room to grow. This suffering is such a precious gift.

I notice the resistance wants to prevent the righteous mind from arising, and will employ any means to confuse the situation, and every means to test my mind. I believe one must face everything in the course of cultivation. In Master's speech at the Western U.S. Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference of Falun Dafa on Oct 21, 2000, Master says: "What is a Buddha? Tathagata is what humans call someone who's come with the truth and the power to do what he wants, whereas real Buddha's are guardians of the

Cosmos and are responsible for all righteous elements in the cosmos. This has resulted in many situations that shouldn't have occurred and all kinds of interference; this is quite similar to the performance of our students' xinxing at present during their own cultivation. All beings in the cosmos are amidst the Fa rectification and all they do might reflect in this human place since I'm doing this in this human place." Isn't it then, that each and every thought that is not in accordance or even assimilation with Zhen-Shan-Ren is a thought that is attacking Zhen-Shan-Ren? He also said: "The Fa will bring to humankind everything new and righteous, and it will not be shaped by anything that is old, crooked, or distorted."

I have wondered; how do I eliminate the evil, and regard myself as a particle of Dafa. Well I found from my first experience with Hong-Fa about three months ago, that my mind felt incredibly righteous. I said, at that time, it feels like no bad thought can touch me when I am doing this. Not only that, but I felt so benevolent and good-natured. When I wear my t-shirt asking China to 'Stop Persecuting Falun Gong' I feel so innocent and benevolent - knowing that this request is the most righteous. Because there are so few practitioners in Victoria who want to Hong-Fa the way I do, I often go by myself. I remember the day that was such a big breakthrough for me. It was a day off, and I was studying a lot, but all day my mind and heart wanted to Hong-Fa. I was waiting to have 2 other practitioners join me, but when it was finally time to ask them, they declined,

and I felt a little frustrated. I felt like I needed to do it with others. That wasn't to be, so I mustered up my compassionate and forbearing heart, trying not to feel self-righteous. I went to the public beach, set out my information and proceeded to practice 2 hours into the dark and cold. I felt liberated and really solid.

So I have just been reading and understanding more. Each day, especially when I am at work, I am constantly faced with internal conflict, and the question always seems to be, how do I regard this situation? From one perspective my heart is kind and good, and my actions are upright, but I often catch myself measuring with ordinary person's standards. One day I even dropped two measuring cups within five minutes and I enlightened to

it. The reason why I mention this experience is that it is so painful for me to endure my human notions and sentimentalities. I am constantly disregarding them in my mind but I haven't understood enough or repaid enough karma, or let go enough. I even watch how one thought that I accept as I am doing something, will turn into disaster. I thought powdered chilies would be better than the canned chilies that the recipe called for, an

d the soup turned out too spicy, with so many consequences. I seem to experience immediate karmic payback, because I notice where one small thing that I have not done well enough in my kitchen work, will soon create a problem. I always take responsibility, and as a result I am learning to be an impeccable worker.

Back to my thoughts and the pressure on my mind. The worst kind of interference that tells me I am impure, that I'm being used by demons, that my mind is not righteous. Well, yes I experience bad thoughts. So these demons test me thoroughly, and I have been suffering. In fact I haven't had the understanding to rise up. In "Toward Consummation", Master says, "Dafa has perfected and harmonized everything in the cosmos." I have learned that I cannot wait to do the things that my heart moves me to do in the Fa Rectification, and my heart is being purified. My attachments are being revealed to me through my suffering, and a higher and more noble mind is emerging. It is easy to become attached to other practitioners, so I am grateful to be left with these steps to make on my own.

The Christmas Eve day I felt a pure heart as I stood on a busy downtown shopping corner, with petition and persecution information displayed beside me. I practiced the standing exercises twice wearing my white shirt, asking China to stop the persecution. The cosmic characteristic was also displayed for thousands to witness. When I am demonstrating alone I pay particular attention to practice really well, and in fact this is not difficult, because it is in practicing Hong-Fa that I know most clearly why

I practice Falun Gong. I do as Master tells: "Let the part of you that has been fully cultivated glow with an even purer brilliance." (From "Towards Consummation") I know that it is this Dafa that moved so many hearts that day on so many levels, and that it continues to beckon to those hearts.

When I speak with people again I am amazed that even with mountains of karma people are responding with what I can describe, at my understanding, as a thread. A thread of Fa that is right. I offer the petition to every person, regardless of appearances. Today 3 spiked-haired, black-clad boys responded with good natures. I saw that their appearance was only a cover. I can see how due to Maser's latest article, especially, how people will have another opportunity to practice in the future. This Fa is just so precious.

Whatever environment I am in, if my heart is moved, I tell myself: "These ordinary people are ignorant, and do not know that they want to learn about Falun Dafa, and the persecution of Falun Dafa. I want to offer them the opportunity to learn, and to make a positive choice." I am coming to a place in Hong-Fa that truly does dispel all evil questions. There is really no place for these questioning thoughts in Dafa. In the article "Rationality", Master shares: "While the wicked forces are being eliminated you are consummating yourself in cultivation and strengthening the Fa's manifestation in the world." One solid righteous thought in, perhaps a thousand or more evil thoughts, are eliminated. In my mind often all questions: 'how do you regard the Fa? Where do you place the Fa? And where do you place yourself within the Fa?' Again Master says: "If a cultivator can let go of the thought of life and death under any circumstances, evil is bound to be afraid of him." ("Eliminate your Last Attachments.") My understanding of this has taken on a new meaning. Each and every thought that is not within the Fa represents death, as it tries to prevent me from upgrading. Life is the absolute Faith within the Fa that leaves no question.

I would like to thank all of you for sharing with me and the opportunity to share my experience in this way. I am also grateful to Master Li, for helping me to express the things I never otherwise could from my own understanding.