Respectable Master, Dear Fellow Practitioners,

My name is Chenxi (Calvin) Lou and I live in the Los Angeles area in California. I would like to take this opportunity to share with you how I obtained the Fa and my two years of cultivation experience.

I started learning Qigong while attending high school. Qigong became very popular when I was in college. There were all kinds of Qigong masters and Qigong books available. Little by little, the supernormal phenomena in Qigong opened a whole new world in front of me. I believed it was the key to the ultimate truth of the Universe and life, and all the answers were in that mysterious world. I browsed through all the Qigong books that I could find, but all I got were vague statements. At that time I was just like a child, picking up shells on the shore and dreaming of finding out the secrets of the ocean. In 1995, before I came to the US, I borrowed the book China Falun Gong from my mother. After reading it, I wanted to learn it right away. However, at that time I didn't realize that I could learn it on my own just by reading the book. I was still waiting for Master Li to have a class in my city, but I did not know at that time Master Li had already stopped teaching Falun Gong in China.

At the end of 1995, I came to the US and then was baptized at a Christian meeting. For 3 years, I had been a very devoted Christian. I wholeheartedly believed what the Bible said and tried my best to practice it. I diligently studied the Bible, actively participated in all kinds of church activities, and generously spent my time and money on it. I became one of the young serving Christians in my church and I also believed that the rest of my life would be like this.

My mom was practicing Falun Gong in China at that time. Though I also hoped for her to become a Christian, I didn't know how to preach to her because everything from Falun Gong was so righteous. In November 1998, my sister sent me an email saying that my Dad also started practicing Falun Gong. I made up my mind that I needed to study the Falun Gong books again so that I could find a way to convince my parents to become Christians.

I visited Falun Gong's website and opened Zhuan Falun Volume II. I can still clearly remember the impact I received during those few days. I started with a selective mind, but gasped in admiration and sighed deeply. I printed all the books and read them with great eagerness. Although I had read Dafa books before, this time they were like new to me. The intense statements, words of wisdom, and profound teaching really shocked me. Sometimes, with a sudden enlightenment, I felt a warm current flowing through my whole body. When I listened to Master Li's lectures later, I realized that changes were taking place within me in other dimensions. Many of my questions about Qigong, the Universe, life, even the Bible, were answered clearly by Master Li. To my surprise, Master Li even revealed some spiritual things very naturally and easily that had taken me three years of diligent study in Christianity. Some of my attachments, which I could not discover when I was in Christianity, were then very clear to me.

In the meantime, I knew I had to choose between Dafa and Christianity. After learning such profound teaching from Dafa, I just couldn't give it up. However, I was very dedicated to church life at that time. My wife was even more devoted than me. We had hardly any other friends other than brothers and sisters in the church, and we did nothing but go to church meetings in our spare time. But Dafa conquered me. After struggling for two weeks, I told my wife my decision of accepting Falun Gong and recommended Zhuan Falun to her.

The pressure I had after that was tremendous. Elders in the church and all the brothers I respected came and talked to me one after another. At home, my wife often said nothing but wept. I was very upset at that time and decided not to practice Falun Gong for a while, but I became unhappy about this compromise. After I came back from church on a Sunday afternoon, I opened Master Li's "Lecture in Sidney." When I was reading the book, my heart went back to a peaceful, joyous, and light feeling. When I read the part where Master Li talked about the structure of the Universe, I was deeply moved by the broad and profound implications that were between the lines -- a feeling I couldn't explain -- and I started crying. At that time I realized that I couldn't go without Dafa. It strongly attracted me. I didn't realize it until later, that it's the merciful Master who gave me another chance. It took me five weeks to finally and totally make up my mind.

The first thing I did was to clean up my old life. As a practitioner, I must do better than an ordinary person. I lived in New Jersey at that time and parked my car at the railroad station to take the train to my office in New York City. If I parked my car at the meter machine, it was $2.50 a day; but if I parked in the shopping mall across the street, it was free. However, the parking lot at the shopping mall is for shoppers, not commuters. I had been parking in the shopping mall to save money, but now my consciousness said no. Zhuan Falun taught me the relationship between loss and gain. Naturally, I parked my car at the meter machines. I also removed the pirated software from my computer and bought licensed copies for those I really needed. Dafa gave me more clear rules to follow and the power to give up my bad habits.

When I studied the Fa more and more, little by little the Fa became clearer to me. Some points Master Li had stressed in different lectures over and over. However, when I was not at that level, those words were just like plain water to me. I didn't get it until the right time came. For example, sometimes I still had very bad thoughts. They were so bad that I felt I was too shameful to be a Dafa disciple anymore. One day I suddenly understood what Master Li said about "one can only cultivate in ordinary society." Resisting and refusing these bad thoughts is the process of cultivation. Then I no longer feared or felt upset about them. Instead, I would use my righteous thoughts to fight and overcome them. I know it was time for me to cultivate my xinxing. I should take this opportunity to "strengthen my Buddha-nature and weaken my demon-nature." As a result, I could distinguish my main conscious from those bad thoughts more easily.

I don't always get enlightened when I read Dafa books, but I strongly believe that I must be changing in other dimensions. So many times I was so deeply touched by the words that I cried out, and this cannot be explained by the logic in this dimension. Master said, a person is just like a container and he is like what he contains. When I keep reading Dafa books, I keep putting Fa into myself. Then eventually I will assimilate the Fa. In Lecture One in Zhuan Falun, Master said "As a human being, you are a good person only if you can follow this universe's characteristic of Zhen-Shan-Ren.. As a practitioner, if you assimilate yourself to this characteristic you are one that has attained the Tao..." I have been thinking about the difference between "follow" and "assimilate". Later I understood. As one who has attained the Tao, he doesn't have to 'follow' the Fa, because he is so compliant to the Fa that what he says and does are already the natural outcome of the Fa at his level. In the process of cultivation, studying the Fa over and over is the process of assimilating the Fa.

Along with my advancement in cultivation, I started associating myself with the Fa. When I went to the experience sharing conference after I just obtained the Fa, I was more interested in stories of how people gained the Fa and how they improved their Xinxing. As for the experience sharing about Fa promotion, I felt that I was just a beginner so it wasn't my job. Though I also did some Fa promotion work, I just passively did the portion that was assigned to me. In August 1999, I moved from New Jersey to California. In March 2000, we bought a house and had a baby at the same time. My job was also very busy, so I spent little time with Dafa. Master published the article "Towards Consummation" in June 2000. I was really shocked by it and read it over and over in a quiet place. I realized that so much precious cultivation time and opportunities had passed. My first impression after reading it was Master's compassion - he still gives opportunity to practitioners who didn't perform well enough. I became determined again and actively participated in all the Fa promotion activities. However, restricted by my lazy nature, I still just "cooperated" with others and never took the initiative. One of the reasons is that I didn't think I was able to do some work and didn't have the experience. Actually deep in my mind, I would rather be a little boat hiding in the waves of Fa rectification, and wait until the big change. After I studied the Fa more and was helped by Master, I realized this was out of my lazy nature, selfishness, and fears. Master Li has a poem that talks about how some of us came to this world to assist him. But I thought it's not me. They are those assistants and some veteran practitioners. Until Minghui put "clarifying the truth of Dafa is most important in assisting Master in this world" in the headline, I didn't realize that I'm also a particle of Fa, and I could and should do this. After re-positioning myself, I actively tried all kinds of Fa promotion efforts, even those I had never done, and no longer waited for others to take the initiative. I'm so happy to see more and more people get to know the truth of Dafa. Actually I also gained a lot from Fa promotion work. When I was studying the Fa alone at home, it was like working inside an ivory tower. Cultivation seemed so easy and simple. It's not until I did the real work in the real world, that some of my attachments were exposed. Also, under what mindset I did the Fa promotion work, and how to deal with difficulties were all tests for my cultivation.

I went to the events and conference in Washington DC last July. It was under a certain pressure. My wife was still against my cultivation and my baby was only 3 months old. I'm a project manager and my job was so busy that my boss didn't even want to give me a single day off. After I came back from the DC conference, I received the announcement of the New York conference, and it wasn't on the weekend. I said to myself, "That's enough. I will not go." But I kept receiving emails and phone calls from practitioners encouraging us to participate and support this event. That was only one week before the conference. I was very hesitant. To go or not to go, I thought about it over and over. The reasons of not going seemed very solid: there was a lot of local Fa promotion work that needed to be done; I had no vacation days left for this year; some practitioners implied that this is an opportunity for consummation. But if I go there just for this reason, isn't this not good? But somehow, I felt that all the reasons for not going were just excuses. Because from time to time, some other considerations regarding money were also lingering around, e.g. the airline ticket might be very expensive since it was already so close to the deadline. Later I realized that my hesitation itself meant that this was a test for me. I had to pass it. Then I decided to go. The reason was just to overcome myself. I talked with my boss. He finally agreed and asked me to take the company's cell phone with me. Later I worked on two Saturdays to compensate for the days I took off. My wife didn't give me a long face either, maybe because I looked very determined and had arranged everything accordingly. I'm very happy that it did not become a regret for me.

Master Li said, the more you study this Fa, the more you will appreciate it. That's exactly what I feel. I felt happy when I just obtained the Fa. But when I study it more, I realize more and more how precious the Fa and the opportunity are. I don't know what kind of predestined-relationship and what kind of fortune had us be Dafa practitioners in this special Fa rectification period. I will continue to hold my righteous faith and walk every step firmly. I treasure the opportunity I have been given, and treasure Master's merciful salvation.

Thank you all for listening.

(Proofread on Feb. 26, 2001)