"Are You from the CIA?"

Just right after I had finished placing the pictures of the crackdown on the ground and was trying to find a suitable place on the stand to put the flyers on, this middle age gentleman approached me. He looked at the pictures and turned to me and said, "Are you from the CIA?" I was shocked by these words and thought that I might have got it wrong, so I replied very politely, "I beg your pardon?" He repeated, "Are you from the CIA? Did the CIA send you?" And then he couldn't hold himself anymore and got really upset, his face turned all reddish and said, "You are a bunch of charlatans trying to fool people!" His words were so absurd! My body was shaking inside and my heart was unbalanced. I said to myself, this man is totally lost and out of reach, I have got to do something about it quickly before he gets more upset and unreasonable. But what would I say, where should I start? And on the top of that, how can I keep myself calm and carry a heart of benevolence while talking to him. The tribulation seemed too big for this tiny heart of compassion of mine.

I just decided to ask him what he knew about Dafa and see if I could find the reason to his attitude towards Dafa. So I just said, "What exactly do you know about Dafa?" He said that he knew that we were fooling people (or something like that, I can't recall the details).

"Have you read a book or are you just relying on what you have heard from media?" I asked, but somehow he didn't want to listen anymore and started to walk away. Then I said, "You know nothing about Dafa." He said, "do you?" "Yes" I replied, "I've been practicing it for more than two years." By this time he was too far away to have a conversation with.

After this incident I wasn't feeling right. I knew that there was a lesson to learn from it but I didn't know what. What could I possibly get enlightened to when someone attacks Dafa? So many thoughts passed through my head. Have I done something wrong? What should I say to make him believe that Dafa is good? Should I just leave it behind me without getting enlightened to why I encountered such a thing again? (I had previously encountered a similar situation once, during collecting signatures) why do I run into this type of tribulation? I simply couldn't get it so I decided to just carry on with what I was doing and figure it out later.

Two hours later, it happened again! While asking another gentleman who was watching the practitioners doing the exercise if he wanted to have a flyer. He said with an angry voice, "Are you from the CIA?" This time I couldn't help laughing by hearing these words. Why was I encountering this thing over and over again? There was something that I couldn't get enlightened to. It would sound like a joke if I told others about it. But I knew that I should first of all calm myself down and handle the situation as a practitioner. So I wiped off the smile from my face (since it apparently annoyed him) and said, "Your opinion is probably based on negative things you have heard by Chinese propaganda, we have gathered here today to tell the truth about Falun Gong." Upon hearing this he got more upset and left mumbling, "truth, ha, truth."

I still couldn't get it! Not until now when I was asked to write a short letter about the activity that day, which I can more clearly see the reason behind my encountering these situations. At that time I was just blaming those people for not having the right attitude and could not find anything wrong in my DEEDS.

Now when I look back I can see that it was a Xinxing test for me to pass. But every time it happened I tried to figure out what I DID wrong. So I couldn't find anything wrong about telling people about Dafa and failed to get enlightened to the fact that I still had a lot of attachments that I hadn't let go of. I carried a heart of an ordinary person while I did things for Dafa. I did good things and felt delighted about it. I had noticed it before but tried to fool myself by just saying loudly, "Don't get pleased with yourself, it might become the attachment of zealotry!" I said it loudly with my mouth but deep inside, while doing good deeds (it also at home and my previous workplace) I was feeling pleased about myself.

I now understand that everything that I run into is selected and planned by the Master to raise my Xinxing, and I have to cultivate with a clear mind. Enduring hardships is just one aspect of a Xinxing-test that arises, I still need to see through my attachments and really let go of them. They won't just disappear if I call them by names, fooling myself and misleading other people.

It was a precious lesson and I'm so thankful to Master Li for being so patient with me, trying so long to have me enlightened to this attachment of mine. Thank you Master!

Finally, I like to leave you with this poem by Master Li:

Without intent/intention (Wu Wei)

Three religions cultivation speak about without intention

Using the heart not convenient it will still be with intention

Only doing good deeds, still with intention

Letting go of attachment is truly without intention