[Editor's Note] Ms. Sun Xiaomei's mother and younger sister were forced to defend their belief in Falun Dafa with their own lives on July 27, 1999
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Dear Mom and Sister,
A whole year has passed since you left this world. To your satisfaction, in face of great pressures that are unbearable for human beings, a great number of Falun Dafa practitioners have been protecting Falun Dafa and validating the existence of the universes truth. They have used their own cultivation practice knowing the great significance of their precious re-born lives given to them by Falun Dafa.
Dearest Mom, I would report to you proudly, I am one of the practitioners in this vast and mighty group, protecting Falun Dafa.
Dearest Mom, I will never forget that I was arrested secretly in the morning on July 22, 1999. The whole country was enveloped with horror at that time. We lost communication with each other. On July 26, under great pressure, against my will, I wrote down a declaration that I would not practice Falun Gong any longer. So, I was permitted to give you a phone call that day. I picked up the phone falteringly. Mom, how eagerly I wanted to hear your voice. Until today, the words you left me still clearly echo in my ears, "You must be firm." I told you ashamedly, "I have declared not to practice any more. One of the main assistants from our Province also stopped practicing. Mom, you should stop first and wait to see what will happen later." I knew everything that you had suffered, however, you told me calmly, "There is never a role model in cultivation. I will not follow anybody. I have Falun Dafa in my heart. Lead your life in your way." You did not say anything further and put down the phone. Mom, I could not help crying bitterly. I knew what the "instant wrong thought" means to me. That was an irretrievable regret in my long life.
Your determination, your calm, your composure even facing the evil force made me feel ashamed. That night, I could not fall asleep for a long time. Our Teacher told us, "In face of trials, ones true nature is revealed." Mom, people's one thought is truly based on one's long-term cultivation. I knew deep in my heart that during the last four years, how you had firmly cultivated step-by-step. In 1995, a man gave you audiotapes of our teachers lecture in Jinan [a city in Shandong Province]. You were crying while listening. Beginning the next morning, you went to many places looking for Falun Gong practitioners, from lanes to streets, from residential complexes to parks, though there were not many practitioners at that time. But 10 days later, you finally found them. Mom, you looked like a lost child finding the way home. You held the book Zhuan Falun back. Mom, I hadn't yet started to cultivate at that time. Looking at the heavy book, I considered your words as a joke though I was moved a little. However, after several months, you, being nearly 60-years-old, had recited Zhuan Falun and all the scriptures our teacher had written. Mom, during the four years, the light in your room did not even turn off at night. No one knew how many times you had read through Zhuan Falun. I knew that no matter whether it was the coldest winter or the hottest summer, no matter the suffering, or passing the difficult tests, it was the universes great law that was guiding your way. It was the light in your room that awakened me. Thus both sister and I got on the road of cultivation.
Mom, you were a secondary school teacher in our province. You devotion to the country, your hard work in school had affected me since childhood. However, your life experiences in difficult times made you sick both physically and mentally, suffering from about 11 kinds of diseases. You even learned how to give injections to yourself. Every time when I saw you pick up the needle shivering, I covered my eyes with my hands, but still the tears effused between my fingers.
However, only after one-month of practice, you were vigorously energized. What is more important is that from the improvement of your xinxing and the sublimation of your realm, I understood from deep in my heart that you had never lived such a sober, joyful life, being full of confidence.
Mom, your new life was given to you by Falun Dafa. I deeply understand, you would surely contribute your life for the sake of Falun Dafa.
I did not know how great the pressure was on you until I was released one month later, after July 20. At that time, in face of your home being searched, you protected Falun Dafa books with your life. One policeman there at that time told me that the Zhuan Falun held in your bosom was your life. Then you were forced to sign a pledge or even face being arrested. You and my sister were so determined with Falun Dafa, unshakeable by any evil force. Your determination with Falun Dafa moved everybody who knew you. Under the pressure to force you to attend the "re-education class", you and my sister closed the door tightly. No one could by any means pour any lies into your Falun Dafa purified hearts.
After being threatened for several days, you and my sister left the world on July 27, so calm with no regret or complaints. In face of ferocious waves billowing, you were fearless. You told the world that the cosmic truth was much more important than your lives.
Your sacrificed lives awakened me. I would never again go astray.
One month later, I went back to the empty home. My 11-year-old son told me everything he saw. Mom, I tried my best to hold my tears while listening. When I heard that in order to protect Falun Dafa books, you were pushed to the floor and dragged all the way to the courtyard, but you were still spreading Falun Dafa to the surrounding people. When I heard that both your arms were beaten and bruised, my heart was shivering. But I still told myself many times, "You are a cultivator. You should know how to face it."
Mom, I have never hated or complained to anybody, not to mention a little un-satisfaction with the government. This is not because I fear anything, but because I am a Falun Dafa practitioner. My broadened and expanded mind after cultivation forgives all of these. One time, your school gave me a phone call to fetch your belongings. Mom, at that time, you and my sister had just left not long before. The person who called me was the one who forcibly kicked our door, scolded you, and forced you to write the pledge. I tried to restrain my passion and talked to him calmly. I put down the phone and regretted that I was not kind enough to him while crying.
Mom, I am not unclear-minded. I know that one will be punished for his or her wrongdoings. However, I am a practitioner with a higher standard and I have the cosmic principles in my heart. I hope your and my sisters lives and my compassion can awaken peoples conscience in order for them not to lose a beautiful position in the universe.
Mom, until today, Falun Dafa is still being maltreated. Our Teacher still suffers injustice. I am continually trying to explain the facts about Falun Dafa practitioners to all levels of the government in a kind manner, asking the government to withdraw the wrong decisions made regarding Falun Gong, to return innocence to Falun Dafa and our Teacher. During the last year after you and my sister left, I stayed in custody for half the year. However, never again would I allow any pressure to shake my heart devoted to Falun Dafa.
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Xiaomei
July 2000
