My name is Jun Li. I am a practitioner from Flushing, New York. I obtained the Fa at the end of 1998.
Before I started writing this experience paper, I was thinking that my understanding of the principles of Fa is not deep, there isn't anything to write about. Through veteran practitioners' encouragement, after writing this experience paper, I realized that the entire process of writing this paper is also a process of improvement.
I came to the United States in late 1998, and got to know Falun Dafa while visiting a friend. The first time I read "Zhuan Falun", I just thought it was very interesting, and read most of the book during one evening. That's because I was attracted to the description about the universe and mysteries of the human body.
Since I was little, I was always interested in the sky above, had plenty of dreams about the mysteries of the universe. I always thought: if the universe keeps developing, then isn't one lifetime seems pathetic? Will human being continue to exist along with the universe? Even though at the time I thought that was just some childish fantasy, I still hoped to find some explanation of this fantasy, and wish that one day this fantasy will become true. After reading "Zhuan Falun", and through sharing with other practitioners, I understood that those were not fantasies, it is in fact something objectively exists. It's just that people's true nature are blocked by acquired concepts, and can not see these existence. If we can change our conventional thinking, practice according to Dafa's requirements, this childhood fantasy would become true.
Shortly after I obtained the Fa, I decided to practice. The first issue I faced was the test of giving up drinking. I gain some addiction to drinking though many years of working and living habits. Regardless of occasion, if it involves eating, it's fine for me to drink without eating, but I can not just eat without drinking. Many people say I was a loyal friend of beer dealers.
Now that I want to cultivate, I have to do things according to Dafa's requirements. In the beginning, I was not determent to quit drinking. Instead, I wanted to find out whether there are writings that do not against drinking in other books of Teacher, but, I did not find any. When I was with other practitioners, I wanted to find out if there are any of them drink as well, I did not find any either. Once I asked a veteran practitioner whether it is OK to drink just a little, and quit gradually, because I still had a case of beer at home and I would quit after finishing it. He smiled and said, "After finishing this case, you will be thinking about the next case, and never be able to quit." Later I found out that he used to drink a lot also, and he likes the kind that are really strong, but now, he doesn't drink at all. In fact, quit drinking is not hard, it really depends on whether you are determined to cultivate. When I got home, I disposed all the remaining alcohol.
Days past by without any alcohol. Even sometimes I would swallow my own saliva while watching other drink, I was able to control myself. Soon, the Chinese New Year came, we had a gathering among friends on New Year's Eve, we agreed that each of us would bring a bottle of wine to share with others. They all knew that I practice Falun Gong, so they told me to bring soda for myself. That evening, beer was a must along with all kinds of delicious dishes. Everyone took out their wine, those bottles looked really nice, many of them I have never seen before. The glass on the table filled with golden beer was always in my sight. I started to regret that I have made my decision too early, why didn't I choose to start quitting after the Chinese New Year? My mind started to itch, temptation started to raise, I even felt the sensation when beer reached my stomach. It seemed my friends knew what I was feeling, they started to pursue me to drink. One said: "Liquor goes through your stomach, and Buddha stays in your heart." Another one said: "It is not too late to quit after the New Year." A lady stood up and poured me a glass of wine and said: "I don't usually pour wine for others, but today I make an exception...", and pushed the glass in front of me. At the time, if I took the glass and drank it down, not only saved my friend's face, it would also satisfied my stomach, and also would ease my feeling of homesick. However, what I lose would be a practitioner's volition. Drink it or not is not a big deal, what important is that whether I could control myself with a practitioner's Xinxing under any circumstances. When I though about this, I turned her down with gentle words. I stood up and poured a glass of soda and said: "Even though my soda is not as expensive as your wine, but I sincerely wish you become more beautiful, and also hope you will practice Falun Gong." She took the glass and drank. I expressed my point of view to others, they were all very reasonable, and no one tried to pursue me to drink anymore. That evening, we were all very happy. What I was really happy about was that I was able to pass the test.
When tribulations come, they always seem to appear by chance. In the beginning of my cultivation, especially when I encountered Xinxing tests, everyday people's thoughts came out very naturally. One day, I bought a $15 Metro card and was ready to go do some business. My roommate was off on that day, so he gave me his monthly Metro card. I gladly accepted it, put down my own card and went out. I finished what I had to do in the morning and wanted to fully use this monthly Metro card. Therefore, I went on a train without knowing where it was going. I went to all places where the subway could take me, and toured places where a bus could take me as well. I thought my traveling expense was "insured". At the end of the day, when I used that Metro card for the last time, the screen showed something like $1.50 left. I did not think too much about it and went home. When I returned the card back to my roommate, he said that was not his card. Then, I realized I have been using my own card I have purchased all day long. The "$1.50 left" on the screen was telling me that I could use that card only one more time. At the time, I did not understand it was a hint from Teacher, only felt regretful and blamed myself. Until one day I was sharing experiences with other practitioners, I clearly realized that how deep the heart of pursuing interests can hide. Many of the unacceptable deed are recognized as normal behaviors.
It was after the conference in March of 99 when I started to treat myself as a true practitioner and started to practice firmly. During the conference, I witnessed Teacher's kindliness and heavenliness. I made a firm decision to practice vigorously according to Teacher's requirements. Since then, I extended the time of study Fa, always kept in mind that I am a practitioner. In a short period of time, there were many occurrences of removing karma reflected on my physical body.
I work in the construction field, thus I use electronic tools very often. Once I was on a ladder hammering nails into a beam. I had one hand on the wood, and the other holding a nail gun. When I just held the nail gun over my head, with in a second, "peng, peng peng", three four-inch nails went onto the beam. My hand felt numb for a second, when I took a close look, the wood got nailed pretty tight, so did my hand. I was shocked in a flash, but right away I reminded myself that I am a practitioner, and calmed down. I calmly told one of my co-workers that my hand got nailed on the beam. From the tone of my voice, he thought I was kidding. But, after he saw it was real, he went in a panic. I told him to pass me a hammer and pried my hand out along with the nail. The nail went through my pointer with more than one inch on each side. My boss was very scared too, but I knew it was Teacher eliminating my karma. In the hospital, people who saw the nail in my finger were yelling: "Oh, my God!" The person who took the X-ray seemed confused: The nail obviously went through the middle of my finger, but there isn't any sign shown my finger bone was damaged in any way. Looking at the big nail in my finger, I thought: The high-energy matter in my finger is much stronger than you, I am not afraid of you at all. The doctor could not pry out the nail with a regular plier, he had use an extra large one to take the nail out with the help of his assistance. After putting on the bandage, I waited for more than an hour for the nurse to show up. After she took the bandage out, she seemed to be searching for something, it was then I found out that the wound almost healed, I had to look carefully to find it. While driving me back home, my boss continuously urge me to take anti-biotic and pain-killing medicine, I answered him OK, but I truly know what to do in my heart. Our benevolent teacher did not let me feel much pain. When I woke up in the morning, the bandage has disappeared. It was amazing that the wound has already healed. I just felt a little fainted pain inside my finger. Three days later I went back to work. My boss was very upset when he did not see any bandage on my hand. I showed him my finger, he was surprised and said: "Your skin is so good, it grew back so fast."
There were many this kind of examples. Once we were working outside, when I walked close to a wall, a piece of cement which had the size of a end table fell on me. It came down right above my head, but at the moment I bent down to pickup something, so it hit me on my neck. I almost fell face down on the floor, and was numb from head to toe. Right away, I thought it was removing my karma, so I stood up, turned my head, other than a little pain, everything was fine.
Teacher has told us: "The entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments." ("Zhuan Falun" page 2)
Last October? I had the deepest impact through my one-year cultivation process. In June of 1999, I rented an apartment and became the sub-landlord in which I live in one room and rented out the other two rooms. One day, a friend came to me and wanted to live in my apartment for awhile, so I moved into the living room. Even the condition was not good, but this way I didn't have to pay any rent and even had a little income from it. However, it did not last long. Three days past since the rent was due and neither of the other two tenants showed any sign of paying their rent. I thought, since I am a Dafa practitioner, I should maintain my Xingxin, maybe they just forgot. I maintained for another 10 days, but still no one mentioned anything about the rent. I started to lose it, and analyze the situation everyday: Did they really forget or just making trouble for me? They shouldn't be making trouble, their rent are already very low. I started to get angry thinking they never feel satisfied. That evening I asked whether they know they were late for payment for over two weeks. They answered: We know. We were waiting for you to come to us. I started to get emotional, all the anger I have been keeping inside all came out together. I reasoned with them, and was told that they would pay their rent if I could change the living room to the way it was before. In other words, they want me, their landlord, to move out of the living room. At the time, even I kept reminding myself to maintain my Xingxin, I still almost fainted by anger. In the days followed, we did not talk to each other, I didn't even want to look at them, always felt awful when I got home. A month has passed by, some of my friends who found out about the situation all stood on my side and saying I was too weak. Some of them even wanted to act on this for me. Every time I heard my friends' words, my stomach would swell a few times. During those days, when I practice, the image of the tenants would show up in front of me. In the beginning I did try to look inside myself for reasons, but lying on the bed, thinking and searching, I found the tenants installed an air-conditioner without telling me, and cost me several tens of dollars extra in electricity bill every month; thinking and searching, I remembered one day I saw them in the kitchen laughing and joking, it made angrier to think that they are so happy living here without paying rent. I really wanted to walkup to them and say: "It is not me who is tolerating you, it is Falun Dafa." I did not say it. But, I always thought: if I am not a practitioner, your nose would be crooked already. No matter how I tried, I did not find any reason within myself, and thought about how to get them out of there.
I read Teacher's books very often during those days, hoped to find solution to my problems, but I was not able to find any. After the incident has passed, I now realize that only after upgrading myself through constantly studying Fa, use Fa to measure my actions, then I would be able to know what I did was according to Dafa's requirements or not. Correcting the actions that were not accord with Dafa's requirements, then it would be an upgrade in that area. When you encounter a tribulation, looking through the books while holding the attachments would not help you to find an answer, the upgrading of Xinxing relies on one's enlightment, one's understanding. This requires reading the books and studying the Fa often, sharing experiences with other practitioners often. If we can memorize the Fa, then when we encounter tribulation or tests, we would deal with it according to Dafa's requirements naturally.
Once during a group study, I shared my recent tests with others for a discussion. Each discussion would encourages me greatly. What the practitioners in China have done made me saw my attachments: Am I going to wait for those tenants to pay their rent and then reach perfection? Everyday people's fame, profit and sentiment are all right in front of me, they are the tests that I have to pass, but I was stuck in them and could not get out. In fact, those were attachments that I should have put down long time ago. Then, I suddenly remembered what Teacher had said: "Sometimes, when a tribulation comes, it seems tremendous, so overwhelming that there does not seem to be any way out. Perhaps it stays around for a quite a few days. All of a sudden, a path appears, and things start to take a huge turn. In fact, it is because we have improved our Xinxing and the issue has disappeared naturally."
My understand of Fa was gradually improving, and my Xinxing was changing continuously. Sleeping in the living room, I felt I have brought inconvenience to others. Well, if the situation was the other way around, how would I feel if I see a person started to sleep in the used to be nice and clean living room? I decided to move out. A few days later, I rented another place to live. When I released these attachments, I felt relaxation like I never felt before. It was interesting that as my Xinxing started to change, signs of removing of karma started to show on my body. I had a toothache at first, my face was badly swollen within a day, it looked like a bun was stuck in my mouth, I couldn't even stand still due to a terrible headache. I took two days off to rest at home. And it just happens that there was a experience sharing conference at Columbia on the second day. My face was swollen at its worst that day, it looked like I had one eye open and one eye closed. I would try to cover half of my face when talking to other practitioners. I know I had many attachments that needed to be removed. No one made fun of me, instead, they felt happy for me because my karma was getting eliminated. I was deeply touched. I stayed for the group exercise. That day when I got home, Teacher started to cleanse my body. That was the biggest cleanse since I started to cultivate. I went to the rest room several times a day for an entire week, the phenomenon was just like what was described in Teacher's book. A week later, my whole body was so comfortable like never before. I thank Teacher from the bottom of my heart. Even though I don't feel the rotation of Falun, but I know Teacher is right by my side. No lie can blind the greatness of our teacher in my heart; No slander can influence my heart of practicing Falun Dafa firmly.
I know I am far away from Dafa's requirements, but I will not let our teacher down. Here I only want to thank our teacher with my sincere heart, and also thank those practitioners who introduced Fa to me, and helped me in my improvement.
Thank you!
Category: Beginning Cultivation