Greetings Master Li and fellow practitioners. I am a New York practitioner. I am originally from out west, but I now live in New York City. I have been a practitioner of Falun Dafa since June of last year. I would like to share some experiences I've had with the practice of Falun Dafa. I would first like to start with describing some physical benefits I have received and then relate some of my cultivation experiences.
Going to the Practice Sites:
When I first starting practicing Falun Dafa, there were some other people in my office who started with me, so we always had at least 3 people at the practice site every morning. This was very helpful in making sure that I got up and went to the practice site every morning - regardless of whether or not I was tired or didn't feel like it, or had some other excuse. I knew that the other people would be there, and so I continued to go every morning. This was not always easy. I remember one morning I arrived at the practice site before everyone else. I felt very tired, so I leaned my car seat back to rest while I waited. It was quite cold outside, but there was a warm heater in my car, and so I laid back and waited for the others to arrive. I began to get very comfortable, and being so tired I quickly convinced myself that there was no way I could get up out of this nice warm car and go practice. I was starting to get my hopes up that no one else would show up so I could just leave when one of my friends pulled into the parking lot. With a groan and even though it was the last thing I wanted to do at that moment, I pulled myself up got out of the car and went to practice. Upon returning to the car after practice, I could hardly believe how different I felt. All of the tiredness, grogginess and lack of energy that I had felt when I pulled in that morning was gone.
In November of last year, I moved into New York City. There was no practice near my new home, so I decided to start one. Central Park is a 15 minutes walk from my front door, so I found a nice spot and decided that I would practice there before going to work in the mornings. In order to make it to work at a decent hour, I would have to start getting up at 5am. I had never done that before, but I figured that I would give it a shot. In the first week of my living in New York City, I made it to the park only once and even that was a bit of a struggle. No matter how well I planned or how much sleep I got the night before, I couldn't seem to get myself up and out the door in time. I didn't really understand why. After all, on the mornings when I had gotten up in time, the entire experience of practicing outside was absolutely incredible. The air was crisp and fresh, the city was quiet and peaceful and the park was absolutely beautiful. What is more, after practicing outside I felt much more refreshed and inspired to diligently cultivate myself for the remainder of the day. So, why couldn't I seem to get myself up with any regularity? I could do it at my old home when I knew there were others at the practice site, but now by myself, it had suddenly become so difficult? What was going on? I guess it is quite helpful to have others at the practice site because I knew if I didn't show up one day, they would all ask, "where were you?" In this sense, I feel it is good to have others around to encourage me. However, now I was all by myself. There was no one to encourage me, it was just me. While struggling with this problem, I came across a section in one of Master Li's lectures where he discusses the issue of practicing the exercises:
"in China there are instances that they come out to practice both in the morning and in the evening. They come out at four o'clock in the morning and six o'clock in the evening after dinner to practice the exercises collectively twice a day. They find that practicing like this is very good. However, people in many areas of other countries are not practicing like this, using various excuses. Let me tell you that if you do as what I taught about this gong, it is guaranteed that there will not be any harm, only benefits. You claim that you are too busy and don't have the time. Actually, you are afraid that you do not get enough rest. Have you ever thought of the fact that cultivation practice is the best form of rest? You can attain the kind of rest that cannot be attained through sleeping. Nobody would say: "My practice is making me so tired that I cannot do anything today." One would only say: "My practice is making my whole body relaxed and at ease. I don't feel sleepy after a sleepless night. I feel full of energy. It does not seem to bother me at all after a day's work." Isn't this the case? Therefore, when someone who does not come out to practice says that he has no time or uses other excuses, I would say that it is all because he does not have a deep understanding of the Fa and lacks a strong will to make earnest efforts."
Then I realized, wasn't this simply a matter of cultivating my will power and didn't Master Li mention that cultivation of will power in such cases is at the very beginning level of cultivation? If I couldn't overcome this beginning-level tribulation, how could I possibly overcome tribulations further down the road. I decided right then and there that it was a matter of cultivating my will power and it must be overcome.
The next morning when my alarm went off, I reached for the snooze button, but then I stopped short and remembered, "it is simply an issue of will power." I pulled myself out of bed. The first minute or so was difficult, but then it began to get easier. I repeated this the next morning. Within a week's time, I was outside at the practice site every morning. It just so happens that soon after this incident, one of my friends from work also moved down into the city near where I live and began to practice in the park with me.
Over the last few months, there has been much work to do in Dafa. At times, we would get very busy and not get to bed until very late. During one of these times, I skipped going out to the practice site for a couple of days. I didn't think it would matter too much since it was usually just me at the site, and the passers-by didn't seem to take much notice of me so early in the morning. Besides, I was doing other work for Dafa, so I told myself that it is fine to do so and left it at that. Towards the end of the week, however, I got a call from a woman who seemed very interested to learn more about Falun Dafa. We talked for a while on the phone and then I told her about the practice sites where she could go to start learning Falun Dafa. She then proceeded to tell me that, by sheer chance, she had been in the park on one of the mornings that I had missed. She said that she had looked for the Falun Dafa practice site, but gave up after she was unable to find it. I apologized for not being out there and then proceeded to tell her that I am normally out there everyday and that she should just stop by the next day. She then told me that she is usually never up at that time nor is she usually near the park. It was a complete accident that she happened to be in the park at that time.
After hanging up with this woman, I realized that this was a lesson for me. Yes, we have much work to do to help promote Dafa and assist with the situation in China and in other areas, but under no excuse can we slack off in our own practice. I had slacked off and I felt that this woman was a messenger to that effect.
Clearing Away Old Notions:
More recently I have discovered that I have not met the requirements for conforming to ordinary human society and having a sober understanding of Dafa. Prior to obtaining the Fa last year, I had been very involved in a Buddhist practice for the previous eight years. In that time, I had developed into someone who avoided contact with society as much as possible. For example, I would always do my shopping late at night in order to avoid all the people that are in the stores during the day. I never went out on dates nor did I go to parties or other types of social gatherings with everyday people. I always avoided flying home to see my family. I guess somewhere along the way I had convinced myself that someone who is serious about spiritual practice should avoid all these things and just focus on the practice itself, and in so doing, this person is truly practicing while all others who engage society to various degrees are really just stumbling along. But Master Li has stated on many different occasions and in many different ways that it is only one's heart that matters. Master Li does not recognize the formalities of religion and only looks at one's heart. Furthermore, Master Li has said that this is one of the key distinguishing features of Falun Dafa and one of its powerful aspects. It targets directly at one's mind and heart. I understand now that the concept I had was wrong and it took quite a while to uncover many of the ways in which this concept manifested in my life.
One of the ways it had manifested is in the relationship with my family. As I mentioned before, I had always gone home to visit them with much trepidation. However, didn't this feeling all come from an attachment? How could I think this way about my family? My father is a very noble and kind man. My step-mother and sisters are always very happy to see me and go out of their way to make me comfortable each time I go home. How can I as a cultivator feel burdened by being around people that have always supported me and gone out of their way to make me comfortable? What kind of attitude is this? I was acting even worse than an everyday person, let alone adhering to the standards of a cultivator. Why? It was this Buddhist concept that was still working in my mind, which led me to believe that interaction with family members was the same as becoming an everyday person and not practicing cultivation. Therefore, each time I got around my family I would be a little uneasy and anxious to get back to my own home. This is not correct because it is only one's heart that matters, and we must act according to the Fa in all situations. In fact, as Master Li stated in the Geneva conference: "You all need to have jobs, an environment, even a family, and many, many relatives in ordinary human society. Every aspect of these things is a reflection of our ability to conform to the conventions of ordinary human society. Because you are practicing cultivation among everyday people, at the same time they also create good opportunities for us to practice cultivation and provide us with an environment for cultivation practice." Therefore, my understanding is that it is very good to be around the family because it provides more opportunities to improve my xinxing, let alone tell others the truth about Falun Dafa. I guess the bottom line for me is that Falun Dafa revealed the fact that I was all caught up in these so-called formalities in terms of interacting with my family and ignoring cultivation all together. It was the exact opposite of the standards of a practitioner. Furthermore, in reality I am actually quite close to my family. It was just this notion which distorted my behavior and attitude towards them. I now talk to my family on a fairly regular basis and I even look forward to chances that I get to see them.
Another way this concept had manifested in my life was in my social life. In school, I had a very normal social life. I went out with friends, I went out on dates, I attended school dances, etc. However, when I started my previous Buddhist practice at the age of 19, I stopped dating and socializing with everyday people altogether for the next eight years. It just so happens that some of my close friends from this previous practice all obtained the Fa at around the same time I did, and we would usually practice together in the park every morning. In the fall of last year, I was sitting in the park one day with some of these practitioners. We had just finished exercise 4 and since we were still relatively new practitioners, we were stretching our legs to prepare for exercise 5. Then one of the practitioners, who also happened to be one of my closest friends, turned to us and said, "oh by the way, I'm getting married." I was, needless to say, in complete shock, but I soon settled down and got used to the idea.
A few months later, it happened again. Another one of my close friends who is also a practitioner announced that he too was getting married. And then later that very same day, a third friend and fellow practitioner announced that he was also getting married. I didn't know what to say. I felt uneasy in my mind. I was wrestling with many of the previous notions I had regarding this issue for the next week or two. I understood that I was carrying around pre-conceived notions, but I was having trouble seeing them clearly and my mind was coming up with all sorts of excuses for not examining myself in detail on this issue. Then, one night after a reading group, I came home and all of a sudden just realized that none of these concerns I carried mattered one bit. It did not matter if I had a big family or a small family, if I was married or not, what job I had in society, etc. The important issue was where I positioned myself in the Fa. I can't really explain how it happened, but in that one night, these concerns just fell away as if some huge weight had just been lifted off of my shoulders, and the one question which seemed to rise up in my mind as the most important was "where do I position myself in the Fa." That is to say, if I see myself as a part of the Fa and take it to be as precious to me as my very self, than all of the formalities of my everyday life should be a cause for concern, as long as I act according to Dafa.
Going through this experience, however, has revealed something very important about myself: That is, many old notions that I had picked up from Buddhism or elsewhere in religion were still playing a role in my mind. Up until recently, I had used the excuse that because I had stayed away from such social situations for so long, I must have obviously overcome this attachment of sentimentality to a large extent. This is the excuse that I had formed in my mind for avoiding this whole area of everyday people's lives. Yet, if I had really overcome this attachment, why did the idea of all my friends getting married disturb my mind to such an extent? Wasn't it revealing something about myself? Did I think that if I just avoided such activities of everyday people and refused to get married that my gong would increase? Haven't I gone to the opposite extreme? Did I actually think that if I were to just shut myself within my home so that I could just read the book and practice the exercises, that all my attachments would then fall away and I would complete cultivation? Certainly, there are different conditions at different levels, and veteran practitioners may have different states for their cultivation, but I am still relatively new to Falun Dafa and I still have many attachments to get rid of among everyday people. All my concerns regarding interacting with my family, marriage, etc. revolve around notions in religion. They have nothing to do with cultivation practice, and in fact, in some cases, go against the requirements of Dafa. In short, having these notions that I was carrying around were causing me to go to an extreme in understanding and studying the Fa. Additionally, it was distorting my understanding of certain principles of the Fa. For example, regarding conforming to the state of ordinary human society, I had always understood this idea to mean that we should conform to ordinary human society so that people will not misunderstand Dafa or get the impression that it is not good. However, in the back of my mind I felt that this was an unfortunate necessity within the current conditions of the Earth, and less than an "ideal" situation. That is to say, since the cultivation ways in monasteries or those left by Sakyamuni are no longer feasible in the modern world, we have to settle for cultivation among everyday people. But what kind of an understanding is this? Where did I get such ideas? Isn't this the exact opposite of what Master Li has taught us? Now as I look at this issue, my understanding is that this practice of Falun Dafa is so powerful and targets the heart and mind so directly, that it does not matter what you do in terms of formalities as long as you act according to the Fa. That is to say, our practice will not be adversely affected by engaging in the formalities of everyday people as long as you act according to the Fa. In fact, it is precisely because Falun Dafa directly targets one's heart and mind, that makes it an ideal situation to cultivate in the world among everyday people because therein lie countless opportunities to cultivate ourselves and elevate ourselves. It is not a less-than-ideal situation. On the contrary, it is the best cultivation environment. Furthermore, the more we are able to conform to this state with a sober understanding of the Fa, the greater it will help others come to know about and understand the Dafa.
In lecture one of Zhuan Falun, Master Li says that this dimension of human beings was created by the great enlightened beings out of their benevolence and compassion to give mankind one last chance. This idea has much more meaning for me now that I see cultivation in ordinary human society as an ideal way of cultivation. After all, I am here now in my current state with all of my attachments and notions. I myself am responsible for my current state and I myself must practice cultivation if I want to ascend. Where else in the universe could I go to elevate my being out of this state? Where else could I find an environment to practice in and the Fa to guide me? Originally, I had thought that the great enlightened beings exhibited their compassion simply by giving us a dimension and an additional opportunity, but now I think there is more to it than that. This entire world and the opportunity to cultivate here is itself a precious gift. Only here in this unique dimension do we have an opportunity to enlighten, to face tribulations and ascend. We should indeed cherish the pains and tribulations that we encounter here in ordinary human society for they are the very means by which we may assimilate to Zhen-Shan-Ren.
Choosing Cultivation:
There are countless choices for people to make in their lives regarding what path they will take and where they wish to go. I am sometimes amazed by the abundance of choices we have here in America. I remember coming home from work to my apartment in Manhattan the other day and I saw people doing so many things. I see people dressed up for a party driving up 3rd Avenue in a big fancy car. I see people rushing into the local Blockbuster to pick up the latest video release. Others are rushing this way or that way, talking on their cell phones, buying tickets for the movies, going shopping...on any given day, there are so many things that one can do. But the question for me is what will I do? I stopped at the street corner to let the cars go by and looked down 84th street as the sun was setting. I remembered the picture of Master Li that was published earlier this year of him sitting in the mountains quietly watching the practitioners and the people of the world. I smiled to myself and thought, "Here I am in this land called America, which seemed to me to have lost all sense of that which is sacred, and yet, here is the craziness of all this I have found something that is sacred beyond anything I could have imagined!" So what do I choose to do here in America? Master Li, I choose to go home and study this Fa that you have made public, I choose to share experiences with my practitioners and I choose to practice cultivation in this complex environment and conduct myself according to the principles of Zhen-Shan-Ren as best as I can. Thank you for this opportunity Master Li.