(Clearwisdom.net)
When I clarified the truth to people, I used to be very eager to change their misunderstandings and prejudices toward Dafa. I used everything I had learned and all the words I knew, hoping to save everyone I met. However, when I saw that some people still obstinately hung on to their warped notions, I was distraught, and felt that it was indeed too difficult to save a person -- recalling what Lu Dongbin (a deity in Taoism) once said, that he would rather save an animal than a human being. This was especially so when I came face to face with many people, and found that they had all sorts of attitudes.
After calming down, I searched within myself to see why my heart was moved. Were my thoughts pure enough? I then realized that, although my distress was not because of others' attitudes toward me, it was nevertheless caused by their attitudes. At the same time, I also noticed my own attachment of trying to make rapid progress. My attempts to clarify the truth to people arose from superficial understanding. When my words were not understood, I immediately assumed it was very difficult to change other people's notions. This thought would temporarily limit people to that understanding. Like everything else, human beings are changing constantly. It is not unlikely that a few days later they would have thought about what I said, figured it out and changed their attitudes. Things like this happen quite a lot. However, that particular thought of mine left a loophole for the evil to take advantage of and cause interference. Thus some of them who were on the verge of understanding became hesitant to accept the truth, while others who were ready to learn Dafa changed their minds. When encountering such things, we may not even realize that it was caused by us and that sometimes, our worry further aggravated the situation and increased their resistance.
I should not have thought of Lu Dongbin's words at all. Lu Dongbin's words show that he is less compassionate and tolerant than Dafa disciples. Dafa disciples demand a higher standard of themselves than previous cultivators and high-level beings. This is because we are Falun Dafa disciples. Therefore, we should constantly purify every single one of our thoughts.
One day, when I "modestly" said to a fellow practitioner, "... there are also areas I did not cultivate well," I said it with a smirk. My smirk made me realize the attachment hidden in the sentence--the mentality of showing off masquerading as modesty. I asked myself, did I really want to reveal to my fellow practitioners the areas I did not cultivate well? The answer was no; rather it was to show fellow practitioners: "You see, I cultivate quite well. I know to look within; I am able to act according to Teacher's words and look for my shortcomings." In fact, instead of truly looking within, my human side was thinking: "I cultivate better than you." Such a mentality was really convoluted. Only then did I realize that for those born on this Earth, attachments are hidden deep in our bones, not to mention the bad thoughts accumulated through generations. Later, when I saw fellow practitioners reveling in saying the same thing, I became even more certain that I had a hidden show off mentality, and had been deceiving myself. What should have been a good thing to say ended up as self-deception. This is the trap set by the old forces--for us to always go to two extremes. To put it plainly, they want us to go around in circles and be unable to elevate and upgrade ourselves. Therefore, we need to recognize the arrangement of the old forces at all times, refuse to accept any of it, and eradicate it completely. At the same time, we need to consciously correct our every single thought at all times. By stepping out of our confined understandings based on selfishness, we will leave the old forces' trap to themselves. Let us use Dafa disciples' powerful righteous thoughts to rectify all of this compassionately.
The above is my shallow personal understanding and may cloak my hidden attachments. I hope fellow practitioners can point out and correct anything inappropriate.